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Q: My Little China Girl

Sorry I just couldn't Resist An Encore if I may be so bold.

Recently we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary...yes someone has volunteerly tolerated me for that long.

Like most Women the minister for war and financial matters has more facets than a diamond. Or layers than an onion Depending on the day. Being Chinese the first and foremost attribute would be Narcissist , yeah yeah I know , after a fortnight of me posting to get attention it is pot calling the kettle black.no However in my defence I don't ask anybody how great my skin looks 3 times a day. As im writing this I have that song in my head " Your so Vain " Turning the Jewel we come to the Match making traight ...I swear she is trying to relocate the female population of North East China to South East Queensland. Ffs The first thing she asks any bloke I know is are they single? The next is do they want to marry a Chinese Lady? Yet if I was to ask one of her friends if they want a well endowed Australian man I would be in all sorts of trouble.crying And that brings us to sence of humor. She keeps saying she is now a old woman so when I say she isn't as much fun since she got old ....I get in trouble.. The swelling from my black eye is getting better now.

Lets talk about Driving.

There is a reason Female Chinese shouldn't have a licence and my wife is the Poster Girl For it. I got a sticker for the car "Caution Female Asian Driver Good luck Everybody Else " Note to self .ice helps bring swelling down The photo of my wife wearing a crown and holding a frying pan should have been an epic reminder.laugh Thrifty is the polite word we use for tight ass She will try bargain on anything...and most times successfully. For a long time I thought my Chinese name was "Long Fei" which I found out ment "Waste "

indecisionOne day she wanted to buy a camera from a large retail store...by coincidence the Sales Guy was a former student of mine . This Guy is 6ft 3 tall and 120kg However after dealing with my wife he now suffers from post traumatic stress disorder. When he started trying to sell to my wife ...I walked off due to not wanting to see the big Guy cry. When I came back she had achieved a sizable discount...he had sweat streaming from his eyebrows...I looked at him and shock my head then said to my wife "Babe your slipping...he still has his shoes and his shirt. If a photo could sum it up ..picture a big game hunter with the pitt helmet and gun standing on the dead Rino . Now substitute Hunter for small Chinese Girl and Rino with large Samoan

 The kids are starting to bail up at the extra school work she gives them and she isn't happy...."they don't fear me....how can I rule without Fear !!!!" cryingIn hindsight I shouldn't have made the comment about other road uses make up the short fall in the children's fear . The Doctor just laughs at me now.

I hope the last couple of weeks gave you a laugh and made you realize you are not alone with your thoughts on day to day life in China. I also it is my wish I have given some of the people who don't normaly post are given encouragement to do so in the future. While I won't be posting this retro themed stuff I will still be around lurking in the background...mmaaawwwhhhhaaawww. Thanks for reading Cheers Phil

25 weeks 4 days ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
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I suggest you nail your nuts to the front door yourself to save her the trouble of doing it when she reads this.

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25 weeks 4 days ago
 
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Posts: 152

Minor Official

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I suggest you nail your nuts to the front door yourself to save her the trouble of doing it when she reads this.

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25 weeks 4 days ago
 
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Minor Official

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I married a Thai woman - just as nuts but a bit more curvy than the locals.

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25 weeks 4 days ago
 
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Lol you just described every Dongbei girl I know.

 

The fiery temper, bargaining skills that can reduce people to tears, always asking how she looks, drives like it's a video game ... gotta love them

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25 weeks 4 days ago
 
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A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs