The movie will have to have a long intro at the start of the paper-work necessary to obtain this visa. If a car chase could be somehow tied into this, á la the opening to a James Bond movie, you would hook your audience.

Can I get a cameo of a mental cab driver who strokes peoples arms and then challenges them to arm wrestling at the lights?

We could start the car chase at the drive thru at Berger king then have it drive through the narrow stress past a hostel
Hey the guy driving the chasing car could be a robot that is drinking and stealing all through the movie , but who could we get to play that part?
The Hench men could all wear duck masks
Lots of good site gags for a foot chase with street vendors and kids in split pants doing what come naturally . Add a whistle or two and there is your water fight scene

Do you think Mr Bean would be better for the staring role or Jim Cary ?
We need a local leading lady any volunteers girls? Mk
Sorrel ,slice miss A and any others I have forgotten please submit your photos when you have time lol Silva you are welcome to try out for comic relief or a local or both

I don't buy into the idea of a car chase. You might have a scene where the bad guy pulls up alongside the good guy at a traffic light, but when the light goes green you know at least one of the cars will be in reverse. I suggest a slow speed accident followed by some proper Chines manly fighting (you know, bitchslapping, pulling hair and scratching) 

Ok if you don't like car chases how about a couple of recycling guys chasing after a bottle of gutter oil?

I suggest the soundtrack to be based on Yakety Sax

Instead of a car chase, what about a tank chase through T Square, dodging students?

Phil, my good man,

Are you back in Oz?

My suggestion for the film is a light-hearted comedy involving dolts of different persuasions and political positions.  Something along the lines of that very funny, yet warm-hearted, Franco-Belgian film Nothing To Declare.

It could be the start of a new thing: the Chinese laughing at themselves.  (They can be so severe sometimes, n'est pas?)  Something that is sorely lacking in my neck of the woods here in this city on the coast....

Cheers, mate, wherever you are!

You are already making the movie? I haven't even read the book yet!

Gutter oil and burger king hmmm. Sounds like a winner to me
All we need is Charlie Sheen and Vicky and we got it covered

I am waiting for the sequel: "Sex on a 500 rmb per day overstay fine".

A very important thing to remember is people overacting to tiny issues. 

It also needs a "loveable", "humorous" (pay attention to the quotation marks) character who tries too hard to force jokes when the movie is getting serious ("comical" relief), like Jar-Jar Binks.

Someone could play it easily, but I forgot his name... I think it's Matt-something or Silv-something.

are you on medication? What's with this obsession?

The opening scene, our hero arrives in China on a 30 days visa, checks in to hotel. Once out on the street, the hero Jack Schitt (because he brings back one or two new girls every night) is attacked by men spitting at his shoes. A chase. Finally our hero is cornered on a street full of feces. Just as he is about to get creamed, a horde of women notice that a new foreigner is in town. They mob him, requesting that he get them visa. Cue the theme song ZZ Top, "Legs". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nZniMYCZp4

 Later our hero is sent to bath house to meet his contact and told that he will find his target working a hotel, but before he is told which one, a gang of men enter the steam room. they begin to point and whisper at our hero. Schitt drops his towel and unholsters his weapon and makes his get away.

Racing down the street on his MI6 scooter Schitt is chased by men wearing duck dust masks on scooters from all sides. They run red lights, speed through cross walks full of people, race down sidewalks. the Chinese are crashing into benches and into stores,(nothing unusual for China) Schitt pushes the button to engage the extra battery and just as he looks like he will get away a bus takes pursuit. Schitt fires his scooter trunk at the bus and makes his get away. Schitt's scooter dies in front of row of barber shops. Schitt is approached by a woman ,Máoróngrōng de māo, she knows the secret code word "Massage?", he figures why not. Once in side Schitt is surrounded by barber shop girls, they offer him a small condom, he knows this is a trap. Schitt unholsters his weapon and the girls flee.

 Twenty eight  days pass and Schitt is running out of hotels and girls, so many girls, so little time, when he gets a text message on his secret iPhone9, ''Its not a hotel you idiot, it's a hostel, the Pink Petal". Schitt has not been wasting time in his pursuit of his target, he has been eating street food to save time, he develops gas, takes a chance and gets a clean break, but he uses a silencer but deadly tactic.

 Using an ultra-violet scope Schitt locates the Pink Petal, the DNA shines like a Vegas strip in the night. Entering the Pink Petal Schitt finally meets his target ak " 4Penny Māo''. she says the code word "Massage?". Schitt is over whelmed by the legs in the place, finally offers 4Penny Māo, "Do you want Burger King?". They make an escape just before Schitt has a heart attack. Schitt orders 2 Whoppers, fried not broiled. Later Schitt and 4Penny Māo return to the Pink petal, where Schitt completes doing his target, cue song Creedence Clearwater Revival "Run Through The Jungle'' . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWvOY3NdWvk

Morning comes and Schitt realizes he needs an extention to complete his mission. Is he man enough, maybe? Off he goes to the PSB to get an extension.

 Disclaimer: No clowns were harmed during the production of this movie, only ducks were.

closing song: 50 cents, Thicker Than Water. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVTpbUJD_Ds

I'd pay to see that, but I have a feeling you have been watching you holiday video's again