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Q: The Victoria Situation

 

PART 1: The Problem

 

Firstly, a summary of ALL Victoria posts:

 

Vicky: Why don’t I have a foreign boyfriend?

 

Human: Because foreign men require you to engage with the real world instead of only talking about yourself. People who are not interested in a variety of things are not interesting.

 

Vicky: But why don’t I have a foreign boyfriend? Don’t they think I’m cute?

 

Human: Jesus fucking Christ, Victoria. Instead of complaining about the same thing, again, and again, and again, realise the primary factor which underlies your situation (your unwillingness to talk about anything but yourself) and change it.

 

Vicky (two weeks later): Why don’t I have a foreign boyfriend?

 

Please pay attention, Victoria - As long as you keep talking about the same drivel (yourself) I promise you will NEVER find a long-term partner. If you ever decide to become a real person who participates in discussions about things, you have a reasonable shot.

 

Victoria’s thoughts on any topic: Me me me me me me me me me.

 

Mike695ca’s thoughts on any topic: Fucking peasants, ruining my day. Car; money; success. Check, check, check. FUCK, ANOTHER FUCKING PEASANT. Oooh look. A car.

 

Mike’s thoughts are much more interesting than yours, Victoria. Cars and peasants are two topics that other people are interested in talking about.

 

Samsara's thoughts on any topic: China is a nightmarish void that will inevitably ruin everything the West has achieved. I will avoid thinking about this by watching Game of Thrones.

 

Again: two topics (why China is shit, and Game of Thrones) that plenty of people share an interest in.

 

ALL your problems stem from self-absorption, Victoria. Funnily enough, if you were interested in objective phenomena outside yourself, you would perceive the principles that apply to your own situation, thus allowing you to extricate yourself. But you don’t want to consider things that aren't you. So you can’t.

 

 

PART 2: The Solution

 

I propose making a weekly discussion topic to encourage Victoria’s development from self-absorbed child into conversationally capable (but still somewhat annoying) adult. After that we can release her back into nature (and in all likelihood she will head straight for a BK). If she can at least start a conversation about shoes or SOMETHING, there is a chance she will meet her like-minded, conversationally-challenged soulmate.

 

Victoria - Choose one of these topics and tell us what you think about it WITHOUT reference to yourself.

 

1. Cars

2. Peasants

3. Game of Thrones

4. Why China is Shit

 

If you can do this, you have a reasonable basis for participating in conversation with other humans. If not, please limit your future comments to ONE thread where you can just talk about you, and which everyone else can ignore. There is no point creating innumerable threads on the same topic, which to date is all you have done.

 

People on this website, particularly the posters you know as Pussy Girl and Slut, have given you loads of intelligent advice. If you had listened to it, you would not be in your present situation.

 

For the love of god, Victoria: Say something about a topic that isn’t you. It is the ONLY way you are ever going to form a relationship with someone. And if you don’t want to listen to advice, stop wasting everyone's time.

 

6 years 49 weeks ago in  Relationships - Shanghai

 
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Her problem is similar to many Chinese I have met, both male and females. Everything has to revolve around them or money (earning, spending), any other topic is not worth talking about or listening to. Boring people being boring.

 

In 9 years here I have only met 2 friends with minds broad enough to be able to talk about anything and everything from small casual talks to in depth philosophical debates, truly nice people with who I enjoy spending time.

 

I just don't talk anymore to your average Zhou out here, it's pointless and everything is about face or appearance, me me me me me and money, oh and also the usual dumb question that every Chinese ask to Foreigners, be it in Zhongwenz or English, geez stop wasting my time people.

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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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wink

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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Her problem is similar to many Chinese I have met, both male and females. Everything has to revolve around them or money (earning, spending), any other topic is not worth talking about or listening to. Boring people being boring.

 

In 9 years here I have only met 2 friends with minds broad enough to be able to talk about anything and everything from small casual talks to in depth philosophical debates, truly nice people with who I enjoy spending time.

 

I just don't talk anymore to your average Zhou out here, it's pointless and everything is about face or appearance, me me me me me and money, oh and also the usual dumb question that every Chinese ask to Foreigners, be it in Zhongwenz or English, geez stop wasting my time people.

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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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No, it doesn't want advice. It wants and craves attention - whether positive or negative. It wants recognition and numbers.

 

If everyone would stop replying to it and chomping at its bait (same for about ten other "posters") then it would crawl away to another forum and begin its parasitic nature anew.

icnif77:

You're turning to 'Bill' angel here,  slowly......

6 years 49 weeks ago
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Sinobear:

If you mean "Wild Bill" then you're spot on the money.

6 years 49 weeks ago
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icnif77:

No, I meant 'Buffalo Bill' from 'Lambs' ........It..., it.., it..., it........'He likes to skin his humps....'

6 years 49 weeks ago
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dongbeiren:

Yea, I have to agree. It's not worth replying to her anymore. It's like talking to a dog and expecting it to stop barking.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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To be fair on Vicky.... Personal attacks are against the terms and conditions of this site. I have been the target of simular attacks in the past, and my hazy memory is suggesting that I may have instigated a few.

Yeah well. Whatever... Stick your neck out and all that. We all stick our necks out here.

Wow... Thinking about it... We stick our necks out more than out western leaders do. We stick our necks into the noose of an authoritarian government when we comment here.

Any one of us ( who live here) could be whisked away to jail at any time for what we post.

Would our own governments stick up for us? Would they fuck.

Vicky is the fun aspect of being a foreigner netizen in China. Same as cub etc.

Tiresome, but fun.

All of us posters on here are only a few written words from jail at any time.

We need fun.

ScotsAlan:

And lets be precise about who is actually here... And who might be somewhere else sticking their spurtel in the porridge pot. A lot of us ECC folk have met up in person. We tend to do our more open conversations on wechat. Vicky was invited to some. She fucked up and was deleted from many friends lists.

6 years 49 weeks ago
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Viki87:

My life isn't bound to ecc forum. Whatever you say. Alan,I don't care about your bullshit. I don't need all ppl to like me. I have not on ecc for a long time before I come back this time. I am sure you know I am busy with life in real world too. Right? 

Seems that you are dying to make the folks on the websiteto like you. are you a weirdo in real world can only get happy on website?

6 years 49 weeks ago
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Seems to me someone has alot of time on their hands besides Viki.

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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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"Pussy girl", oh the good old days! I particularly enjoyed that little meltdown.

I must say, Victoria's nastiness to female posters rises in direct proportion to the wisdom of the advice being given; it's no surprise that Sorrel copped the worst of it.

Shining_brow:

This happens a lot... Sorrel must have a very thick skin...

6 years 49 weeks ago
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expatlife26:

Some of the worst rage you'll ever get from anyone is the rage of someone being given advice which would force them to confront their shortcomings.

 

I think so much the difference between people who achieve their goals (whatever they are) and those who dont are the ones who look in the mirror vs the ones who point the finger.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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sorrel:

LOL 

I was lucky i wasn't on the receiving end of some of the vileness that was reserved for the wives of some of the guy's on this forum.

Her rage was the rage of the impotent, so often seen on this forum, when a mirror is held up and your flaws are (accidently) on display and people are no longer tactfully ignoring them.

 

At the same time it is hard not to have some sneaking sympathy for someone desperate to escape, but then know that ultimately that they have been given all the tools to reach their goal and blames others for their inability to use them.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Oh dear, it's like we are back in high school again...I'm the homecoming queen!

silverbutton1:

*Joke Rimshot*

https://sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.Mb3e5214fa52e2a7c7d7794d9a9e798f7o0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Yawn. I don't even bother looking at her questions anymore. 

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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Hey guys, stop making fun of Viki. 

 

Viki is only trying. However her direction is wrong. So no matter how hard she tried, this will not get her where she wants to go. Even though you all gave good advice, the way it's been delivered looks humiliating, she refused to accept it, it's thus not valid communication.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@ Viki

 

YOU WANT THIS TO GO SOMEWHERE.  You BELIEVE that you have to “make” a relationship go somewhere; otherwise, it will stay stuck at the same level forever.  Make no mistake, this belief is DEADLY.  When you meet someone you really like, it’s only natural to hope that your relationship goes  somewhere.  There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way!  But what can be unhelpful is what you DO as a result of those feelings.  Many women feel like they have to do something to move their relationship along to the next level.  They’re not content with being patient and letting things unfold naturally.  They’re getting older, and they don’t feel like they have the time to waste on an extended courtship.  They want to know if this man is going to be “The One,” and they want to know NOW!  Unfortunately, having that kind of attitude is incredibly off-putting to men.  When you tell a man that you’re after a committed, long-term relationship (and, if he’s not in agreement, you’re not interested), you’re basically telling him that you want to USE him.  You’re not interested in him for being HIM.  You’re only interested in him insofar as your relationship leads to marriage.  It can be really hard to take a passive, relaxed approach to relationships, but, wherever possible, I recommend that you do your best to let things happen naturally and not try to force it.  If you like a guy, enjoy liking him for the sake of liking him, NOT because you want it to go somewhere.  Learn to enjoy the present moment, and stop worrying about where it will lead. The less you try to force something, the more miracles magically happen on their own. 

MissA:

Viki was rejecting good advice and lashing out because its not what she wants to hearfor a long time before most posters gave up and started responding with sarcasm. If you're responding patiently to the same questions from the same posters in two years, then you can judge people taking the piss out of her.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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dongbeiren:

It's not worth making fun of her or giving her advice at this point. She is completely self-absorbed and refuses to listen to anyone. She's just looking for attention. She'll never look in the mirror at her self objectively.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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sorrel:

Vicky has admitted to trolling and spamming this site, so it is difficult to have any sympathy for someone who has proven unreliable and a time waster, thus probably discouraging people with genuine problems seeking help.

 

She has been banned twice for making incredibly offensive and personal comments against wives and family members of many of the guys here who have responded with patience, concern and exactly the advice she wants.

Each time she returned posters were willing to give her the benefit of the doubt only for her to revert more quickly to insults and trolling.

 

Granted, there is some sympathy to be had for her situation as someone who wants desperately to escape, but the point has been passed where many people are willing to show anything but the response she deserves.

 

You have to wonder how empty a person's life is if they troll forums in such a way for entertainment - it says 'Billy no mates' to me.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Sorrel,you have played hard to get the guys to like you on the forum. Are you that needy? I bet you are an ugly girl who can't get men in real life. As I aware of my popularity,I don't care that much if some guys like me or not on the forum. Haha Poor you!

6 years 48 weeks ago
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6 years 49 weeks ago
 
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The fact that you have spent a great deal of time and effort to create this post....which has done nothing to tame her ego shows me that you are far too obsessed.

 

If she is as really annoying as you all claim (and I agree) then why would you feed the ego by posting this thread which only drives her self obsession and delusional sense of self worth?

 

Ignore her and the ego dies...just like her failed attempts to land a descent western man.

 

This post will not accomplish what you desire....it will only motivate her to continue to post more crap for the attention.

 

silverbutton1:

I find it amazing that so many people are so confused/alarmed/angry/agitated/etc. on a site devoted to "China" and are so dumbfounded/baffled/etc that a Chinese (presumably kind of a nutter) woman can come and cause such a stir. A big heads up folks. 1.4 billion Chinese. Many millions can read and write English to a certain degree, of those millions, many can and do use the internet. Of those, im sure many are nutters.

In closing, what surprises me most is.... drumroll. there arent alot more "vikis' and/or "Rickys' on the site bombarding it with various troll BS.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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I actually find Viki very entertaining.  She epitomises the average Chinese girl - naive, shallow, selfcentred, but also a bit unsure of herself and desperately in need of attention 

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I think Samsara has a crush on Vicky..... and to be honest I think she couldn't possibly get a better partner. Always well spoken and never the kind to just put down posts with random angry garbage. 

Samsara:

 

This is how every conversation would go:

 

Samsara: "Omg, someone just referred to the Communist Party as a meritocracy; I mean..."

 

Vicky: "Do you like my butt?"

 

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

"No, your butt has no merit"

6 years 48 weeks ago
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It in action: http://9gag.com/gag/aVX4zdK

 

Stiggs:

One picture, or gif in this case, speaks a thousand words.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Samsara:

 

Hahaha, that's amazing.

 

6 years 48 weeks ago
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FFS ignore her. Did you read "The True Story of Ah Q" ? To Ah Q any kind of attention is still attention. Ah Q is unable to look at himself. Ah Q have a very, very strong mental block that makes him unable to feel guilt. Don't try to do deal with Ah, for he is a void that you can only ignore or sink into.

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A: What is 'formal offer letter'? Only legally accepted employment o
A:What is 'formal offer letter'? Only legally accepted employment offer I know is a Contract! ... so, you just don't accept and sign the contract with the lower salary! Email exchanges, verbal discussions and other promises between you and employer aren't legally binding, so legal action isn't recommended. Mainly legal effective thingy is employer's stamped and signed contract! ... and after you ink it, employer can/will use your signed contract to apply for all necessary documents at Chinese governmental agencies as Working permit and all ... It would be better for you to not accept employment with such an employer, IMO 'cause you'll experience similar troubles by employer not respecting the contract later on. -- icnif77