The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
Posts: 14

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: Will I lose my foreign bf if I don't sleep with him?

Hi,I am going crazy and need help.  I have a foreign bf who I have been dating for 4 months now.  I love him, but he gets unhappy when I tell him I won't sleep with him until we are married.  He is my first bf and I don't want to lose him.  But I only want to give myself to my husband.  Will he leave me?  What should I do?  My head is a mess.

7 years 25 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
Answers (51 - 72 of 72)
Comments (92)
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Just leave him ! Simple advice !

Report Abuse
7 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 18

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

haha.... guys in China or at least I've known all want sex, I've rarely met any foreign guys with true intentions.

Enjoy yourself, whatever your decision! =)

(let me re-edit my post, most of the "guys" including chinese) too many different types of guys, <myself included>
But i remember past gf's talking about rich self-made entrepreneurs, the married old guy, foreigners (including myself) "emphasis for jchu or whoever that guy who replied to my post" and guys in general who like the nightlife.

Report Abuse
7 years 21 weeks ago

Crazy~Asian~

 
Posts: 2584

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You wanna give you self to your husband and you have a bf on the side?  Your head is a mess and you are going crazy you tell me/ this is called scatter brain it's when you go crazy and your head is a mess. Ask him! 

Report Abuse
7 years 17 weeks ago

There are cookies, bookies and too many rookies for me to sit here trying to be a hooky! Looky Looky don't call me a wooky. Touchy Touchy Feely Feely Spicy Spicy Nicey Nicey & that's what the doctor Ordered!!

 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I think many people get married because they want sex, and then realise they're not meant for each other. The idea of not having sex before marriage  is rather old fashioned and I don't see the logic in doing that, especially not in a place like China, where it's very easy to cheap sex from young prostitutes, sitting in "barber shops". If you won't have sex with your boyfriend, chances are that he'd seek out the services of sex workers (that is, if he hasn't done it already).

Report Abuse
7 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 461

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Yes, yes you will. Unless he's a eneuch.

Report Abuse
7 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2

General

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

STick to your guns girl

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Yes - because thats what 99.9% of foreign guys only want chinese girls for

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 44

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Unless your boyfriend is extremely religious then the answer is most likely yes. Actually, many Chinese guys would also break up with you. It's unfortunate that in these times it's difficult to find someone who will treat this issue with a huge degree of sensitivity but for most foreigners 4-6 months is as long as they will wait as they feel they've given you enough time to judge whether they are serious about you or not.

Personally, if I, as a man, was faced with this situation and couldn't stand not having sex for a year or two but still wanted to be with  you, I would probably find a girlfriend on the side who I would have sex with in order to find some release. And although a great deal of women on this site would probably do the same thing with faced in such a rare situation.

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

if it is your personal value or standards. stick by it. every relationship is tested by this. so if that is your value. dont change it .in real life. most people will have about 3 to  5 girlfriends or more before settling for marriage. so if u give in now. you will be giving all the time. so i will advise think deeply before u do that. any man who respect your view will value. mark my words. if u give it . you have given all. what is left. 

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 518

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

you should open up... nobody gives much value to virginity these days... if u r >20 and is still virgin.. means something wrong... its negative... not positive... 
i would say sex before marriage is a must.. because in married life sex matters a lot.. you might love each other.... but if after marriage when sex kicks in... in case both of you not satisfied... it will end up in divorce.. 

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Although this thread is long gone (but recently resurrected...), I'll still throw in my 2mao worth (and hope I still get 3 mao out of it Tongue)

A person can only do what they feel is right for themselves.

You have to decide what is right for yourself.

But, you should also question where this idea came from... and is it really important? To you... to those whom you value. WHY is this thing 'right'???

When I was young, I had ricidulous values, that love = sex, and sex meant love... now, I'm much older and perhaps wiser. I know that that idea is rubbish. They may go together, but they are not necessarily connected.

Some girls think that if they want to capture a guy's heart, they need to have sex with him - IT. DOESN'T. WORK!

Some guys will say that if you don't won't have sex with him, then you don't love him... IT'.S COMPLETE. BS!

And, sad to say, many many MANY women, still want their Prince Charming to come along and save them.

There is an old saying I heard many years ago... men marry women hoping they won't change - but they do. Women marry men hoping they will change - but they don't.

My (other) advice - NEVER stay in a relationship hoping the other person will change... it's a sure-fire way to complete destruction, pain, frustration, and tears.....

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1112

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If he loves you he can wait until you are marred but if he does not love you he will not able to wait so you can make him wait as long as you need to feel ready. But remember one thing, love is pure like the flower but sex can be pure like the dew upon the flower in the morning sun. Sex needs not be waited for if there is true love stronger than the pull of any ocean, and deeper than its depths. So you can wait or jump right into the ocean and let it take you away. It is your choice if you love him then they chose does not matter. But if you think it will mean more and will make your marriage stronger like a whine you waited to mature then he will understand.heart

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You will lose him if he has any brains

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

just follow your heart.  when he asks for sex, you would say yes if you love him enough, if you say no , it means he is not the man you want to married. 

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 6321

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If he truly loves you, he will give you an I-pad...cheeky

Report Abuse
7 years 11 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Hi Lina90

 

It is not just about pleasing your boyfriend. Remember he has to respect what you want as well. Also just because you have sex with someone does not mean that he will marry you or even be faithful to you.

 

If the relationship does not work out and you have had sex with him then you will never be able to say I only had sex with my husband. You can not get that back ever. if your boyfriend sees you as a potential wife then he should stay with you even if you do not have sex. If he is only interested in sex then he will not stay with you.

 

The more time you spend together the better you will get to know each other. Then you will get to see each other at your best and at your worst. I think the sooner you both make a decision on whether to get married or not the better for both of you. I think you should ask each other questions and do things together like shopping etc. By that I mean do some non exciting stuff.

 

If you only spend time together going out and having fun then you are not getting to see the whole person. What are they like when they are sad, angry, doing something they do not like, tired, grumpy, insensitive? Do you still like each other after seeing each other at your worst?

 

Do you know what he is looking or in a wife. If you get married where will you live? How many kids do you want? How many kids do you want? Does he believe in marriage?  Does he see you as a potential wife? Is he scared of being married? Has he given any indication that he is considering getting married to you?

 

Not all foreigners are the same, just like not all Chinese are the same. Some foreigners/westerners do not have sex till they are married.

 

In short I think you both need to set a time to get to know each other very well as soon as possible so that you can decide whether to get married or to split up.

 

 I wish you all the best in your relationship and I think that you should be true to yourself.

Report Abuse
7 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9197

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I can't believe this troll still gets replies.

Report Abuse
7 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2

General

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

First of all,  never make a mistake.  be wise !!

1) Don't have a purpose like: he's from America, Europe, France etc. so he will take you there.  

2) Make sure you've fall in true and real love.   not pornstar.

3) Know his country and religion.  because some religions has the right to marry multiple wives.  one man can marry 4 to 6 wives.

I don't want to write it down here.  If you want to know such countries and religions,  please Email Me. 

4) most foreigner in China has wives in their home countries and just need a girl for pleasure. get him known very well before you decided what to do next.

 

Good luck girl.

 

Report Abuse
7 years 3 weeks ago
 
Posts: 6

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

my dear lina90 do u at least know how important is that thing u are refusing to give ur bf? 送给他吧. he will not go anywhere with, am telling u..lol

Report Abuse
7 years 2 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1127

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

wait until you get married if thats not good enough for him he isnt worth it  period you are thinking correctly take care

Report Abuse
7 years 2 weeks ago
 
Posts: 100

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Yes

Report Abuse
6 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2765

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Yes

Report Abuse
6 years 49 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: well,,,  just hope all newbies in China wake up real quick to the
A:well,,,  just hope all newbies in China wake up real quick to the idea of there are not really any 'road rules',,,  so, like the little Safety Films we watched in Elementary School said when u were a kid,,,  'look both ways before u cross the street'.  dat sh*t be true here,, haha,, and don't be too surprised when u see a car driving down the sidewalk,,,  cuz long enuf here u will see it a lot...   -- diverdude1