Has anyone dated a Chinese girl and had this happen?
by 
- timjames
- Posts：85
- Shifu
I am new to the dating scene here in China and I may have stumbled onto something strange. I was dating a younger girl(23, i am 34) she approached me, so please no predator jokes here. After we had been dating for a few months she all of a sudden sent me an email claiming our age gap was too big according to her parents. They wanted her to find someone younger, and she claims she has no choice but to respect them, so Goodbye white boy. So is this a common thing here in China, or is she full of crap?
Re: Has anyone dated a Chinese girl and had this happen?
I am a young girl (21).In China,it is common that parents will interfere a relationship and they will think a lot about the future.Traditionally,parents don't like their children dating with a foreigner,they worry about everything.So I think maybe they care your nationality more than your age,but they use the age problem as an excuse.
Re: Has anyone dated a Chinese girl and had this happen?
As Kelly said, the parents here take a huge role in their childrens dating life. They will demand that their child break up with their bf/gf for lots of reasons including age, race, social status, money, height, weight, looks, etc... And traditionally, the child will follow their orders without question.
Parents are everything to most kids here. Best just to accept it and find another girl.
Re: Has anyone dated a Chinese girl and had this happen?
23 and 34 is really fairly insignificant in Western cultures. Quite frankly, a 23 year old woman might be as mature as a typical 34 year old man in the West. Or even look about the same age anyways.
In China they have such a vast and concentrated selection they can afford to narrow it down to nearly the same ages.
Anyways, my wife and I are exactly the same age gap as you were. round off to 11 years.
In our case its actually LESS an issue than yours as she was already 29. Which means she would be given far more room to lower age standards.
She was still too concerned her parents will disaprove and since I do look a little younger (and they can't speak English) I became 36 years old.
So she reduced it to just 6-7 years difference and the parents approved. Again, once the girl is past 26 or nearing 30 the standards can loosen up.
Sorry for your bad luck. It probably was a lot to do with age and family issues.
The 'magic number' does seem to me about 26. (your 34) and even better aim around 28 years old.
At that point a 6-7 year difference becomes a non-issue. Then it will be just about you yourself hehe
[btw.. my wife still has all kinds of issues and often thinks she should be married to someone her same age.. its really ingrained in her cultural upbringing. Possibly made worse that, here in Canada, people think she is much younger than she is]
Re: Has anyone dated a Chinese girl and had this happen?
As far as I can tell, the age difference issue comes from the fact that they do fear death, and feel only elderly people die. So, a couple should be as close in age as possible, so they can have a long life together.
know a local lady who is now 39 years of age. Since she was 30 she has been looking for a foreign husband, since Chinese do consider her "too old" for a wife, and she does not wishes to become a mistress.
She has looked for 9 years now, and her track record shows a 5 year relationsip with a fellow that visited her once in a while, but was married back home, and she broke the relationship when she discovered this. The second one lasted 3 years, and after many promises to come and visit, never had the time or money. And the third lasted 9 months, same as the second.
Today she is 39, and will not marry anyone over 42, and will jot hear any advise. To me, she will die an "Old Maid"