A couple of things and I am just venting so bear with me guys, and try to make the comments useful or at least funny, please abstain from being rude.

My wife and I always have this argument about paying for the party thing.

According to me:

Since I invited people to come to my party; be it at a restaurant or at my home; I pay for everything. They can bring food or alcohol or anything consumable or if modest bring me a gift, but I am not looking for any help or any monetary compensation and I kind of take it as an insult if they try to pay me as compensation or whatever they might be thinking.

According to my wife:

People pay for themselves at a party at a restaurant even if they are invited to the party and the host wants everyone to pay for themselves. At a party at home everyone invited should always bring food and other stuff, the host doesn’t necessarily need to provide everything.

I will try to explain this with example. Note: I have a Indian origin (not native American), My wife is 3rd generation Hispanic American.

It person A birthday, the party is at A’s home or “A” invited everyone to a restaurant. “A” invited B, C, and D to come to the party.

Me: “A” pays for all the foods and drinks at either venue.

My wife: Everyone (A, B, C and D) contribute to the party at home. At a restaurant B, C and D split the check (Remember A invited them to the party it was not a party hosted by B, C and D for A), A doesn’t need to pay or more importantly A shouldn’t have to pay.

While I am at it I invited lots of people mostly Foreigners to my birthday party. No-one brought me a gift except the Asians (All my non-Chinese Asians friends included) brought me gift or gave me a gift later on because they couldn’t attend the party. Is it my Indian heritage kicking in for wanting a birthday gift from everyone? Well there was this Canadian kid (well he is half Asian, again non-Chinese. I call him a kid because he is considerably younger than I am), who hid a 100元 in my gloves on my computer desk. I just thought it was a cute gesture on his part. I know it was him because he tried giving it to me as soon as he got to the party and when I refused he said he was going to hide it somewhere.

There was this second instance when a certain person invited me to a party at a restaurant. I refused to go because she wanted everyone to pay for themselves. (I simply don’t get the concept of being invited to a party but having to pay for your own food and drinks.)

This might be a conflict of cultures, but I have spent considerable amount of my birthdays in US, as usual all of my friends (all races included) were invited; and they all bought me gifts. I have been invited to my friends’ (all races) birthdays but never had to pay.

Is it the circle of friends I used to have changed, because suddenly I find myself being invited to all these parties that I have to pay for, or don’t get any birthday gift ( sorry guys, might come off as greedy but I like to open presents). But I know I am not greedy because there is no shortage of alcohol at my parties. Everyone invited must drink and all my friends who come to the party know that.

My choice of alcohol: Vodka Shots, Tequila Shots and Secret to getting Everyone drunk: Goldschlager Shots.

Or is it China that has changed my friends circle and their mentality. I find myself surrounded by all these penny pinchers who like to receive gifts, but doesn’t want to spend any money whatsoever on anyone else but themselves.