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Q: Advice for parents of mixed race kids in China?
Just had a mixed-race kid 7 months ago; gorgeous little bugger called Louis (chose the name 'cause it sounds and translates as both English and Chinese). So any advice on potential problems and pitfalls ahead of us and how we might avoid them?
11 years 40 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
whats her/his natinality?... which school to go...?
Gaohao:
Well we're going to go with British citizenship but our child is mixed race, born here in China.
in the usa all kids are mixed races and we really dont have many problems at all
Gaohao:
Yeh, but it hasn't always been plain sailing. The current climate between foreigners and Chinese is a little backwards and forwards. That concerns me. Also makes me speak out when I hear people badmouth the Chinese on forums such as this as I don't see that as positive, it has a knock-on effect.
crimochina:
i thought you were in nanning? nanning is a cool place. people are very friendly in nanning. and many are ethnic minorities.
From what Ive been hearing and have experienced maybe go back to the UK
Depending where you are and the attitude of the local population it could go either way
smaller communities are great if they go your way and hell if they don't tolerate foreigners
mine are 3 and 5 years old and speak both well but you always find problems
good luck to you and I hope it works out
Gaohao:
Haha, no, I don't think i'll be going back to the UK anytime soon, it's a dead-end for me. No major reason, just wasn't working for me, dead-end jobs, etc. Here i'm building something workwise. And the feeling toward foreigners in this city is fine, I just hear rumblings from the coastal cities like Guangzhou, Shanghai and Beijing which give me cause for concern.
Where I am in Guangxi the Chinese are very friendly towards me. Very welcoming indeed. Always have been.
Well, as a white-hispanic mix, I have to say it has not always been easy. For some white people, I am "contaminated" and for some hispanic-latinos I am not "hispanic/latino enough". However, it has gotten better since growing up in the 1970's and coming of age in the 1980's. The important thing is to give your child support. It is also important that you strike a balance when it comes to his expressing his frustrations. I went through stages where I absolutely HATED either white people or hispanic people and part of the reason was that I was NOT allowed to vent. Anger and frustrations build and fester and eventually lead to hatred. This is important as it lets the kid get things off his or her chest and once they have gotten it off the chest, you can take the opportunity to guide them so that they do not grwo up hating one heritage or the other. You can also "monitor" this and gage if the child is just venting or if prejudice is taking over.
I wish your family the best of luck, and I hope that your child grows up to be a happy, healthy and productive human being, a credit to the parents!
Gaohao:
I know what you're saying about venting frustrations, it's essential. That seems a major function of this website in fact, though i'm not entirely certain such an open forum as this is an appropriate place to do that.
GuilinRaf:
Well, one has to definitely measure ones words when venting here. Sometimes I have written some REALLY nasty and vitriolic things which I then deleted before submitting and then re-writting a toned down more acceptable version for the site. But felt better anyway. If I had been allowed to vent some of my frustrations when I was younger, well it may have saved me a lot of unnecessary hatred and anger later on. Of course, one has to monitor the "venting" and make sure that it does not grow into hatred and bigotry as well.
philbravery:
in addition one can get beaten up just for referring to one's self as one
(Sheldon Cooper)
MissA:
You're 'contaminated'!?!?!?! My God there's some 'tards in the world!
My Advice : DNT LET HIM SCHOOL IN CHINA chinese education system is terribly bad！.....my Chinese frds even say its the worst education system in the world。
Gaohao:
Yeh, i'm kind of planning to see him through primary school here, then go back to England. I don't know anything about the education system itself but the hours kids have to put in here seems to border on abuse.
siyingyuan:
go to Chinese schools from grade 1-3ish won't be that of a bad idea as long as you don't push your kid like the local Chinese parents do. and your kid will have a fundamental understanding of Chinese (written) language. From my personal experience, I fond myself start to read new paper while in grade 3. But I'm not sure how much Chinese teacher will like your kid, my mom doesn't think that being a problem, she believes teachers will love your kid simply because he's mixed. But I'm not too confident about it because I can imagine him being left behind (if you don't push him), and teachers' evaluation/bonus sometimes directly relate to students' performance. But my mom could be right, since she's more "Chinese" than I am. Wish you the best.
I have raised up my kids for two years in Shanghai, I can give you the following advice, even though (your wife being Chinese and thus may follow what parents say) they are pretty hard to follow:
1) food : do not trust locally-manufactured powder milk both foreign and Chinese, you may have already heard lots of scandal about tainted powder milk, so if you have the choice choose a foreign imported brand : we used Nestle for a while, and then Bellamy because they had also some powder rice and cereals for the baby. Avoid to use any sauce, salt, oil, sugar in whatever you cook for the child as their organs are not completely functional because the age of 3 and thus not able to process "processed" food. Steam vegetables, use fruits for the sugar.
2) toys : if you have the choice buy them in US, the same toys are cheaper in US than in China and comply with strict safety regulations (no lead color pen, etc)
3) school : some international school requires your child to be clean, meaning he can pee and pooh by himself, some other accept the children with diapers. However, be ready to contribute to the development of China by bribing the school as they often ask extra under pocket money to accept your child. I didn't want it so we went back home for that.
4) medical insurance is quite important : some vaccines are free and some not if you go to the local medical center. If you have an insurance they usually cover all the vaccines until a certain amount. I used AXA for my child and was very much satisfied by their services.
5) If you go to play with your child, you may have Chinese children and their parents quite reluctant to let their children play with yours. If you wife goes, then they won't be any problem.
If you have a precise topic or question, just ask, because your question was a bit vague.
crimochina:
he can't think of any exact questions because this post is just to try and sell the idea that he is a new father.
Gaohao:
Thank you. Haha, but apparently i'm just trying to sell you something. So if i'm selling shit.....how'd you like to buy some rubber soles? Our soles are the best. I love our soles. Crimo also loves our soles. Our soles, our soles, our soles. Do you want to see our soles. No? I don't blame you. But apparently Crimo loves to look at our soles. Last week he came into our shop and he was touching our soles. The truth is I think he really loves our soles. C'mon Crimo, be honest, don't you want to buy our soles? Don't you spend every waking minute thinking about our soles? I know it was you I saw last night looking at our soles. Jesus, this could go on. Crimo, I have a poem; it was written by me, especially for you: Our Souls: Let us cleanse our souls, Let us bare our souls, Let us bath our souls, in a holy light. Let us search our souls, Let our souls breath, daily, Let us strike a fire within our souls to fight. Feel the thunder in our souls, Feel love's kiss upon our souls, Let us listen to our souls, And let our souls not sigh. Let us look within our souls, Find the light within our souls, Let us gently feel our souls, And let them not ask why. Let our souls not strain, As we bend them to the toil, Let a wind pass through our souls as through the tree. And should our souls not see, Let us tell our souls, That we are all only our souls, And our souls are we.
i thought you were in nanning? nanning is a cool place. people are very friendly in nanning. and many are ethnic minorities. so most people are mixed race. if you lived in nanning you would know this.
WUMAO FAIL!!!
crimochina:
YOU CLAIM YOU HAVE DYSLEXIA WHICH IS WHY YOU USED "ALOUD" INSTEAD OF "ALLOWED" PLEASE NO ONE TELL HIM NO ONE TELL HIM. HIS ALTER EGO 'JUILIO "USED THE SAME EXCUSE. NEW ACCOUNT WHY NOT COME UP WITH SOME NEW MATERIAL?
MATE MATE MATE MATE MATE MATE MATE MATE MATE ,ATE
Gaohao:
C'mon Crimo, let's get down to the real root of this problem, it's your pianist, isn't it? You have a small pianist, i've heard; he lives inside your trousers and plays Chopin badly. You ever heard of Chopin, you ignorant mug? It's pronounced 'show-pan'.
Anyway, i'm done with arguing with you, your utter ignorance has driven me to it. You win Crimo, I am a wumao. I am whoever you say I am. I am Julio or Mataya or whoever it is you want me to be. You are clearly incapable of admitting that you are completely wrong; you are a dog howling at the moon, insisting it's a window. You are, in short, a moron Crimo. There, you have driven me to base insults, I hope you're happy. Now kindly leave me alone.
crimochina:
i am not chinese. so you are the one with the pianist issues
"If you go to play with your child, you may have Chinese children and their parents quite reluctant to let their children play with yours. If you wife goes, then they won't be any problem."
Really? I've never experienced this ....
