From what I understand with culture shock is that you love the difference at first, then get frustrated with many things, then it gets easier after time, when you grow to accept and get used to the differences.

I have always been very independent, the first to try new things, never a follower. Being alone in China never bothered me. I did not know any other foreigners. I'm honest, I never had any reason to lie or steal. Generally I'm very trusting. I didn't like that I always felt that I could not trust anyone, but I tried to understand why China is like this.

As for other differences, I grew up in a city but live rural now. While there are some advantages, I never encountered white trash while living in a city. At home sadly now that is mostly what I see. Welfare, mother allowance etc. are a way of life. Many Chinese come from rural areas or are not far from those roots. Mostly I like Chinese, at least I try to accept them. I went to China for the different culture. Every day is an adventure if you want it to be. Just watch your wallet and phone.

5 months, same as you, no culture shock yet. I'm thinking I'll be a bit insulated from it, life's objectively better than when I was living in my car the last semester of uni. If most others agreed with you to the extent and with the passion you feel it, they wouldn't still be here. Obviously then those other people have found enough reason to stay. I suggest you try to find happiness, regardless of what country you're in.

To be honest, it all depends on where you go. I loved Hubei, but hate Hunan with every inch of my body. If Hunan were a person, it would be like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Pol Pot and Elizabeth Bathory all in one.

*rant on*I hate going to 24 hour KFC joints and being told they either have no food (which they often don't), or being told they only have 2 or 3 disgusting items on the menu available. Yesterday I just said "Man... bleep you guys" and walked out. *rant off*

I definitely went through a time where I hated all Chinese people, but then, a bunch of them stood up for me and defended me for defending my pregnant wife from a bunch of murdering psychos. Whenever I start hating a lot of Chinese, they always come back and give me a reason not to.

Hi there, I like your honesty. Thing is maybe you came here with expectations and perhaps partly owing to the way China sells itself/tourism etc as a country... I was so so so frustrated at first, been here 5 months, and to make things worse I receive a lot of racism simply because I am not 'white' and as you know Chinese people are quite expressive..... But they are simply just human beings that just do things in a very different way. It seems uncivil etc but try to see past it for now because if you don't you will miss a lot of positive things about them...

This is a part of a process on the way to your happiness here in China. Except that all this process you are living it extreme. Maybe that is your way of living anyway and anywhere. Well it will burn you some what and some how, it you will make you feel exhausted sooner than others, but i am sure you will enjoy it. That's the meaning of the passion: live extreme, feel exhausted and enjoy it.

Unfortunately you don't have patience.

You need to find reasons to be patient with yourself. After all it's not them the problem but yourself being pushed to adapt to something that it's just not you. But this is the interesting part of all change: changing yourself. China is a trial for me too and I believe nobody -except amonk :)- escapes from the frustration  that everything here it's so different, abruptly, violently different.

I would resume all about China to a simple word: Health. Physical and spiritual health. Hygiene and morality to my understanding, go hands in hands. Here it's so superficial that dirtiness can be found anytime at any corner of the streets, shops, restaurants, in the buss where people simply stink. Maybe they don't touch water for days because it;s too cold or they just want to save it, I don't know.

Then the moral dirtiness, they readiness to steal you anytime they can, their natural way to lying you then shut you up with a "this is China" annoying words and so on and so on. And here you are, trying to keep yourself clean in any way inside and outside, trying to be honest with yourself and with others whom naturally they are not.

Well, if you can be yourself, with your values clean inside and outside, then you will grow stronger and stronger unlike all these odds.

What doesn't kill you, it will make you strong. If you find room for your happiness there where you are now, then you will definitely may have become wiser and so, stronger than you were before. Yes, all this pain it's not about the people who are making you feel unhappy. It's about you and how you learn to accept them without losing your ideals and values, without becoming like them and doing what now you hate so much or makes you so much angry. 

Be patient, learn to be passionately patient too and it will be paid off sooner or later.

In the meantime find a way to enjoy your days. I am sure there must be reasons, simple reasons for a little or greater joy. I have my own ways to breath happiness but I guess you need to learn to find yours too. I love to watch movies, I love to go to supermarket and talk to people I don't know or think about the next week-end when i can just lay down in my bed and sleep without worrying about the clock. Simple pleasures that will make your day by day easier until you recover from all this Cultural shock you are through. 

Grimya, it sounds like culture shock hit you hard. Don't worry too much about it, stay calm, let little things go. It gets better, really it does. 

You're in the culture shock trough now, but you will recover. Look up 'culture shock', it's quite interesting.

It's usually the 3 to 4 month period when this happens. Start drinking like the rest of us. 

This happens to just about every body at some time or another

and the worst thing you can do is hide out in your room and watch endless programs from home on your PC

some people take up a hobby or join a group with people with similar interests

or you can start drinking like Nevermind suggested

you are there so make the most of a bad situation and get on with life

even in the shittiest (hay look a new word) places you can learn something

(i was going to say take something away with you but STD's come to mind)

The pollution is a pain and apparent a cloud of it is heading for Japan

( better not comment on that one )

maybe a change of scenery would help?

This forum is a good out let so feel free to vent here

It is not good to hold it in

take care and I hope it gets better

Best regards

Phil

Oh dear, Grimya. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I've read all the comments and have done all of the things mentioned. I've hit the beer, locked myself in my room with my PC , gone off on one a few times at the KFC folk. In addition I've smashed things, sworn at useless Chinese teachers, gone on strike and refused to work.  There are more, but I care not to remember them. I even found myself getting angry BECAUSE I was getting so angry, like a dog chasing it's own tail.

I'm not sure there is a definitive answer - we are all different and are stationed at different locations; big cities with many foreigners to mix with; small cities where you may be one of few foreigners and every spot in-between.

The only sure thing I can say is that all my bad feelings would vanish when I walked into a class. It reminded me why I was there and what I was doing. I loved the kids and they got me through two years in total.  They made me realise that although the adults would wind me up something chronic at times, this could be erased by the pure joy of getting into classroom and getting down with the youth!

Chin up, Trust me when I say you will NEVER forget or regret your decision to attempt Chinese life. Be proud. Be strong. Go with the ups and downs. Try not to drink TOO much, but still make sure you get out and meet people. It'll be just fine....

Peter - aka - Pedro.

Excuse the possibility of seeming to be patronising, I assure you that is not my intention, but at times like these I consider the following little ditty:

I seek the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

You don't have to feel guilty about not liking a country. This could happen anywhere. I think the key to happiness in a new place is finding a friendship circle - people you can relate to, vent and lean on when you're having a bad day. Once you have this, every day things that are annoying you now will seem trivial. My advise is to try to be more social, make friends, get out of the city at weekends, take up a hobby, join a sports club, find ways to relax and try to be more positive. Who knows, you might even end up liking it here eventually.

  I agree with Huge; find the serenity to accept the things you cannot change. Sometimes i've hated life here, but it's all swings and roundabouts. Is life so great back home? It wasn't for me. People only lie to get their cut of the pie. I'm sure i'd be doing the same under different circumstances. But I teach kids and they're as honest as can be. I guess when they get older and have to struggle to make ends meet, that'll change. It's a shame but it's the way of the world. The driving thing'll change as the roads get faster. It's not so long ago that these roads were mostly bicycles. I rarely go out on my bike without throwing a few curses about, but then i've found that road rage here is much less than it was back home. Swings and roundabouts. People might be selfish and seemingly unconcerned with the lives of others, but that's the rat race. Same all over as far as I can see, you just have to run a little faster here to win it and there's little prize for second place.  But if you make a little effort to come out from under that dark cloud and share a smile with someone, you might be surprised at how congenial most folks here are.

Don't know what happened there. Oops.

it helps when you get to know the culture, you will learn that whatever makes you say you hate the place is not the peoples fault, it is the society

Freedom is but a door handle away.

As has been mentioned, yeah, it hits around the 4 month mark... when you realise that those things you thought were just isolarted incidents of bad luck, turn out to be the norm :(

However, I presume you now realise that the people telling you this (at least on this forum) have not only gone through it, but have gotten past it - at least enough to tell you that it hits around the 4 month mark

Some people do make it through... and others don't. It really depends on your personality! The one's I can think of that I personally knew, should never have come here in the first place- should never have left their own country (cos, really, they never did in their own minds... if you get my meaning).

What you will also find, once your time is up, and you head back home (for any length of time, really) is you'll start to see home through different eyes. Certainly, those who post on forums like this tend to miss China once they've been back home for a week or two. So, it can't be all bad...

It takes a certain type of personality to enjoy life here.  I left behind a 6 figure income job, 2 houses, 3 cars and a comfortable life.  I did not come here to work or seek comfort.  I also ran into the culture "wall" that you are facing.  That was 3 years ago, so obviously I am past it now.  China hasn't changed, but my viewpoint of China has and I believe I am better for it.  Think of your stay here as like a camping trip or a safari.   You won't find the same conveniences of home,  you will have close encounters with the local wildlife, and you will have to adjust to a different way of living.  But in the end,  your life will be richer and the experience will open your horizons.  We are citizens of the world and the world is not the same everywhere.  You are participating in the purest and most enlightened form of education.   Just make sure you do your homework

OMG I have no words for this amazing respones, echinacities is truly an amazing community. Thanks everyone and I promise that I will answer every comment when I'm not almost dead of sleep !!!!!

People on this forum like to talk about the honeymoon phase and how China burnout happens after this ends (maybe 4 months).

Personally I had a very hard time adapting to China fresh off the plane.  It wasn't until I starting dating Chinese girls and making friends that things started changing for me (ironically around 4 months in)...and ultimately with my now long time gf.

I find the to key to enjoying and accepting China is to have someone to share it with...whether that be other expat friends or for me a Chinese gf that helps me in so many ways it's hard for me to imagine life here without her (aside from the obvious benefits).

As others above have also pointed out...staying at home in a bubble is the worst thing you can do and will only make you miss home more.

Good luck!

There are certainly some things that are upsetting or frustrating while being in China. But there are some great things too. I try to focus on the good things which isn't easy at times, but something that we can learn to do to keep happy while being here. If you find that it is too difficult to focus on the good things, then keep trying, if you still can't, then don't spend anymore time here. Life is too short to be somewhere you don't like, too many other places. 

http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/culture-shock-china.htm

You might find this useful.

If you really can't stand the place, leave and go somewhere else. Or at least take a holiday away from the PRC.

Totally Abnormal, go to Afghanistan for 6 months , then tell us how you feel after that.

Don't look for things to hate, that's such a strong word. Hind-sight can be great btw

I agree with Beholdapalehors,"HATE" is such a strong word ,I may suggest you to use"DISLIKE".I don't know why some people here keep saying "they HATE some places",What the hell,Why don't you just move to somewhere you like and stop complaining? Or find a way to make China work for you.

If Chinese people push you, just push them back. It's fun. My husband does it. And as long as you aren't over the top, they won't mind.

As a Chinese,I never hate a place or a person.

But I dislike some places and some people,honestly.

I went to a small restaurant tonight, alone all by myself.  There were two tables occupied, 4 males & 1 female at one table and 4 males at the other. From the time I walked in, their eyes popped-out of their heads. 

I later had a quiet, polite discussion with the laoban over my order. Well, EVERYONE in the restaurant inserted themselves into my business. To the point where several got up and came over to my table to begin running on at the mouth about something. Yeah, sometimes I Hate (strong word) this place too. Unfortunately the non-sophisticated Chinese view an outsider (non-Han) as a source of amusement in their lives. Just like a 1000+ years ago when they had street performance as a mode of entertainment. They have always lived communally and they look to other peoples affairs as something to be monitored and used for their amusement. They have NO concept of Privacy. 

(as evidenced best by the juvenile male publicly defecating in the GZ metro carriage)

About the word 'HATE': I believe that the OP is not a native English person or somewhere along those lines...so I don't think he means it in a 'I despise this place, let it be doomed' sort of way, I believe he is just expressing that he really does not like this place at this point and time which most of us from foreign countries have also been through in our first months here, we experience the phase on different levels depending on what you are used to from back home. He is trying to express 'dislike' and 'discomfort' and all the things we always talk about here... and either way, even native-level English speaking people tend to use the word 'hate' to express dislike when overwhelmed, for which the when is the phase he is in at the moment. Like all of us he just needs some encouragement. No harm intended.