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Q: All in the Family
My father's sister's cousin's mother-in-law's husband's brother is my uncle.
I understand that the Chinese language has words for different family members. But, when a foreigner is talking to a Chinese person, they seem to always misuse the family titles. If I am talking to someone and I say my uncle, they know I am speaking about my father's or my mother's brother. Here in China, an uncle could mean a friend of a friend's brother-in-law three times removed.
Question: Do you think Chinese people make an accurate distinction among themselves when talking about family members? Or, is it as vague and nondiscriptive as when they speak to a foreigners?
I was speaking with my Chinese friend today and he said that the person we just passed was his sister. I had to ask him if it was really his sister, a part of his extended family, or just a close friend. It was actually his cousin. It get very confusing sometimes.
11 years 3 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
Everyone in China seems to be very attached to their "title" whether it is the family or a professional.
Doctor, manager, teacher, ... and you better respect it when talking to them or about them.
Except for expats, we are all "laowai", doesn't matter if we are teachers, businessmen or doctors.
expatlife26:
I know what you're getting at there, but I don't fully agree. Anybody worth talking to can tell the difference between a serious person and a bummy slacker.
Even the provincial weirdos yell out way less "hellos" at somebody wearing a suit than the same person in casual clothes.
You go to the offices of a global company you'll still find lots expat VPs and senior people and the local staff know how to behave around them.
Eorthisio:
Yep I know, Chinese are very superficial, like to judge people on appearance, can't blame this peasant culture. If a foreigner isn't wearing an Armani suit while driving down the street in a Lamborghini and constantly throwing money around, then he must be a loser that you can catcall and laugh at. Everyone knows that rich and/or professionally successful people always wear designer suits, Chinese people have such a distorted view of reality, but it doesn't surprise me with all the censorship going on here.
I find close female friends call each other sister, anyone older is auntie or uncle. I just adress everyone as laoban. I find it easier.
By the way, in the UK I knew a family where woman A was married to man B. It was their second marriage and they both had grown kids. Woman A's daughter married man B's son. Then had a baby. That confuses me.
Everyone in China seems to be very attached to their "title" whether it is the family or a professional.
Doctor, manager, teacher, ... and you better respect it when talking to them or about them.
Except for expats, we are all "laowai", doesn't matter if we are teachers, businessmen or doctors.
expatlife26:
I know what you're getting at there, but I don't fully agree. Anybody worth talking to can tell the difference between a serious person and a bummy slacker.
Even the provincial weirdos yell out way less "hellos" at somebody wearing a suit than the same person in casual clothes.
You go to the offices of a global company you'll still find lots expat VPs and senior people and the local staff know how to behave around them.
Eorthisio:
Yep I know, Chinese are very superficial, like to judge people on appearance, can't blame this peasant culture. If a foreigner isn't wearing an Armani suit while driving down the street in a Lamborghini and constantly throwing money around, then he must be a loser that you can catcall and laugh at. Everyone knows that rich and/or professionally successful people always wear designer suits, Chinese people have such a distorted view of reality, but it doesn't surprise me with all the censorship going on here.
I think "Uncle" is misused in Westcountry too. But e.g. my wifes cousins are her sister and brother, which is just wrong. My wife also has an aunt living in another Scandinavian country that we visit sometimes
Me "So how is it you are related"
Aunt or Wife "On my fathers side, fathers brothers, uncles brothers, mother was my great great grandmothers sister" or something. Certainly no direct bloodline. But nice people who cook brilliantly so certainly worth a visit once in a while.
To answer your question they do not use such vague descriptions when speaking to another chinese person. They just find it easier to use it with us. To he fair it would be hard to say everytime. This is my uncles mother in laws sister. We juat dont have a word for it but they do.
This has been my experience anyways. Within my wifes extended family they use specific names for each person eg: Aunt= sam gu jie ( cantonese) for her fathers oldest of three sisters.
Chinese often call their relatives "sister" or "brother", even when they are not really directly related.
Nashboroguy, you're forgetting something - in English, 'grandmother' or 'grandfather' usually refers to 2 possible people - on mother's or father's side.
In Chinese, there are specific terms for which line they come from.
sorrel:
that is where the addition of the word 'maternal' and 'paternal' comes in
