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Q: Another question about whether or not I was wrong.
We had to go to this dinner the other night, something about Spring Festival coming and it would be impolite not to go.
So we're there, along with the usual cast of gov't big knobs and Party gods. Some people know each other, but most don't.
This bloke I'm introduced to comments on my fine head of hair and makes particular mention of it being so grey. (The tool might even have patted my stomach and commented on that too...not sure.)
Anyhow, I start to go on about how strokers feel compelled to put boot polish in their hair in order to demonstrate to all and sundry how pathetic they are. I laugh and say "who cares.....what kind of loser would bother to pretend his hair isn't going grey!"
He says nothing and just looks at me with the blank stare.
And then when he starts addressing the gathering a few minutes later my wife tells me that I have offended the vice mayor far more than I could possibly imagine.
My next contract here depends solely on the gov't.
So, was I wrong?
might not be the wisest move, but sometimes.........
.......there is nothing more amusing that a person who can not laugh at themselves getting their ego burst..
I like a good laugh 
In my years on this site i have found two things to always be true.
1: Vicky wont rest till she gets her man meat.
2: RoyceH is never wrong.
Next!!
Nah, that was *AWESOME*, with sugar and cocaine on the top ^^ It's maybe the first time in years that this guy is being reminded about his vanity.
I bet the look on the guys face was amusing. Probably not a good career move should you be planning to stay in that city though. Until the leadership change that is then who cares.
That was a great move, China being the land of hypocrites some influent people don't get told nearly enough how pathetic they are, and god only knows how pathetic some of them are.
The land of hypocrites, I have a high ranking position in a major company with excellent guanxi, people start licking my ass when they learn this. Prior I am only a random foreigner who can be ignored. Hypocrites. And don't misunderstand me, I am never bragging about it in real life, people usually learn it through someone else.
might not be the wisest move, but sometimes.........
.......there is nothing more amusing that a person who can not laugh at themselves getting their ego burst..
I like a good laugh
Bad manners. Didn't your mother ever teach you, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything."
And another one, "Discretion is the better part of valor."
It wasn't your party and thus not your right to be anything but a polite guest.
Miss Manners would not have approved.
I wonder how many people forget that we are here at the whim of the gov't...doesn't matter who you are, your position, status, ties, guanxi...one call from the right person and you're out of here...perhaps permanently.
royceH:
Nah, that's b/s. I wasn't the one who was being impolite. First, I fully intended to pay my share of the bill, as always. Second, he made the personal remarks about me. Third, I had no clue who the bastard was. And fourth, how was I to know the insecure tosser blackened his hair? It was how the conversation went.
I'm not going to lose any sleep over whether or not they'll kick me out over a matter such as this. I should be much more concerned about what they're doing with my emails that they tap into.
Sinobear:
If you've already made your mind up that you were right, then why ask the question?
When you're the guest, you act the guest. When the host, then you have control over conversations and guests' behavior.
Polite conversation does not include vulgarities, demeaning people, snide comments or personal confrontations. A gentleman does not react to rudeness of others unless it becomes a point of honor.
I'm on my way back to the 1700s now...
DrMonkey:
I like to think of this place (ECC) as a 1700's pirate den on a dodgy Caribbean island. Aaarrrr, gimme dat bottle of rum me mate !!!
royceH:
By jove, Mr Bear, you are right.
Seems my question was rhetorical. Please don't think less of me for asking such a question. In fact, now I think of it, I believe rhetorical questions do indeed have a place.
Anyhoo...all the best back in the 18thC.
royceH:
@Dr.... lucky you're chasing rum back in the old days because, like in China in the 21st century, there sure won't be any cold beer to be had!
Sinobear:
Remember, young jedi, your kindergarten training you must: "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me", "I am rubber and you are glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks to you."
And another old saw from our parents, "Just because someone else does it, does that mean you have to as well?"
Maybe because I am terribly old fashioned, and consider gentlemanly conduct far superior to today's "swagger" and I realize that President Xi is looking to expel the 'foreign horde' AND because today's Chinese are notoriously vindictive, I bite my tongue far more than I would have in the past.
I have a wife and children, so being expelled or denied a visa would be extremely detrimental to me and my family.
I guess if you have nothing to lose and could leave within 10 days without a care, then a witty quip might add to your personal profile then have at it.
I guess I've seen too many young pups (not counting you in the number, just relating an anecdote) who come here from mommy and daddy's basement and can return there forthwith if all goes south. Their arrogance and ignorance just shines...the old, "I'm not going to stand for that, I'll tell them to f-off, I'll punch the s-o-b right in the face!"
We are not Chinese, and we are never going to be seen nor treated fairly under the law. We can be 'removed' from our positions, apartments and the country with just a phone call from the right person regardless of our own guanxi, connections and what have you,
Finally, rhetorical questions do have a place here. It's called "venting" and is a survival mechanism for us ex-pats. It's as healthy as a tankard of grog.
Cheers!
Nahhh
not wrong at all .......just Screwed 
As they say at my old work
you have reached your promotional ceiling
Haha I would have liked to have seen that
Those self important types aren't used to people not kissing their asses and selling whatever is left of their dignity so the mighty leader doesn't get angry at them. It must have been quite a shock for him.
Good on ya mate
It is one thing to think these things. You are correct in what you said. But, the words should not have exited your mouth considering you did not know the company you were speaking with. I can say these things to my Chinese friends and have many "questionable" debates with them among friends. But, there is a time and place for that.
With that said, I too often find myself saying and doing things the western way. I have to consistently remind myself of four things in these situations.
1. TIC: This is China
2. I am a guest in China. It is not my western home country. I should act as a guest without giving up my personal liberties and freedoms.
3. I am an unofficial ambassador to my home country. Sometimes I may be the only person they meet from my country. Lord knows my country (USA) has a bad enough reputation. I do not need to add to that. Instead, I need to try to correct it.
4. When in Rome...
5. When I get to be more negative thinking and arrogant about being here, perhaps it is time to leave and regroup. I wish more foreigners would heed this advice.
That is my soapbox comments. I think I will join Sinobear in the 1700's.
You were right as a person who is very much right.
When it comes to your career, well, taking the steam out of a pompous official likely can harm your future prospects. This is a pragmatic issue, not a moral one, but you said that you really aren't too worried anyhow, and are willing to face the temper tantrum of an infantilized vice-mayor.
As far as moral or ethical concerns, you may be a guest, but he's supposed to be a host (see how it works both ways?). A good host doesn't insult guests, or belittle them for his/her own ego, and this guy was doing just that. "You're a guest here" is a phrase that often fails to accept the reciprocal nature of this relationship. Being a good guest doesn't mean being a good punching bag.
I realize we are 'guests' in their country, but what gives them the right to hurl insults. They don't think twice about telling us how big our noses are, how fat we are, etc... It's a two-way street, and I'm afraid Chinese don't care about any cultural sensitivities but their own. I understand being a good guest, but shouldn't a good host be more diplomatic?
royceH:
I don't for a moment consider myself to be a guest in China. Nobody invited me to come here. I applied for a job and was lucky enough to be successful. I live here legally, on a resident visa, not as someone's 'guest'.
That said, I sometimes (often) have to check my own negativity. It doesn't really do anyone any good.
I've known many Chinese people who are excellent company.
nashboroguy:
Royce: You are a guest in China. And, when the guest become too rude and obnoxious, the host can very easily show you the door and send you on your way. Let go of the negativity and the arrogant attitude.
