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Posts: 280

Shifu

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Q: Any stigmas against premarital cohabitation in China?

I have been surprised to hear of the number of men living with their Chinese girlfriends. In a culture that often times seems to value virginity until marriage this really surprises me. I mean, when a couple is living together it's basically assumed they're getting busy, right? Surely most if not all couples who live together sleep in the same room/bed so that just seems like a given. With that being said, is there no stigma against this ?? Is this just a laowai-Chinese girl thing or do Chinese men live with their girlfriends, too? What if their girlfriends are foreign? 

14 years 44 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 3025

Emperor

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It has been my experience that among Chinese, and Chinese and a foreigner, anything is allowed after the bethroval (engagement) ceremony.  I do know a couple, both Chinese, who had their engagement party 5 years ago, and still no marriage.  I was told the mother of the groom disapproves his choice of girl, and he will not marry without her approval.  To me thats a very poor excuse, but that is what I was told when I asked why no marriage after 5 years.

I will be vey curious to see what others may post as answers

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14 years 44 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2536

Emperor

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With the younger generation, this is the norm...Chinese or Laowai.

 

Marraige is done when the house, car and everything else is taken care of.

 

But how do I know the REAL motivation unless I have spent time living with her?

 

If the woman is older than 25 then all cultural norms are out the window, because the parents are just so happy their daughter has a chance, contrary to customary norms...rightly or wrongly.

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14 years 44 weeks ago
 
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A: I'll give my two cents on the age part. It's not as easy but can defin
A:I'll give my two cents on the age part. It's not as easy but can definitely be done. I was 21, fresh out of university and landed my first teaching job in china as a homeroom kindergarten teacher on a pretty standard 20,000/month salary. I'm 1 year in now and am still happy. Pretty much all international kindergarten jobs on here want 2 years experience, but many will still accept if you have experience in your home country. With that being said, being white and having a nice looking face is much more of a decision factor in china vs the west, if you can- use it to your advantage. Good luck finding something! -- brinsleym