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Governor

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Q: Any stigmas against premarital cohabitation in China?

I have been surprised to hear of the number of men living with their Chinese girlfriends. In a culture that often times seems to value virginity until marriage this really surprises me. I mean, when a couple is living together it's basically assumed they're getting busy, right? Surely most if not all couples who live together sleep in the same room/bed so that just seems like a given. With that being said, is there no stigma against this ?? Is this just a laowai-Chinese girl thing or do Chinese men live with their girlfriends, too? What if their girlfriends are foreign? 

9 years 47 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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It has been my experience that among Chinese, and Chinese and a foreigner, anything is allowed after the bethroval (engagement) ceremony.  I do know a couple, both Chinese, who had their engagement party 5 years ago, and still no marriage.  I was told the mother of the groom disapproves his choice of girl, and he will not marry without her approval.  To me thats a very poor excuse, but that is what I was told when I asked why no marriage after 5 years.

I will be vey curious to see what others may post as answers

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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2549

Emperor

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With the younger generation, this is the norm...Chinese or Laowai.

 

Marraige is done when the house, car and everything else is taken care of.

 

But how do I know the REAL motivation unless I have spent time living with her?

 

If the woman is older than 25 then all cultural norms are out the window, because the parents are just so happy their daughter has a chance, contrary to customary norms...rightly or wrongly.

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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
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