By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: Are Chinese immigrant women the most battered immigrant group in the United States?
A quick glance at my wife's fellow-immigrant friends in America have revealed a very disturbing pattern: the majority of her friends are victims of extreme domestic violence, and possibly sexual assault.
Most of the men beating these women are Chinese, but some are beaten by their American husbands as well. What the hell? When the women complain to the mother-in-law, they tell the woman, "If you didn't want to be beaten, you should have behaved. In the future, just behave and he will not hit you! You must be a good wife and do your duty."
Seriously? Seriously? This is sickening. A lot of the girls have told my wife that they're so jealous of her because I don't beat her. I let her do whatever she wants, and I never force her to do anything. I'm not trying to brag here. The point is that a man isn't supposed to beat his woman.
A lot of these girls are too afraid to go to the police. "I don't speak English," "I don't want to go back to China," "I don't have any money, he controls all of the finances and we'll be out on the street if we challenge him," "Well, he doesn't beat me too hard," "I have been a bad wife, dinner was not ready on time. This is my fault. I must get better."
Seriously? What happened to the pamphlet on domestic violence that they get on entry? Did the men take that away? Did they forget to read it? Are they too afraid to call? My wife was given one that basically said, "If you're a victim of domestic violence, call this hotline now. You'll get a free green card, welfare, food stamps, refuge money, etc."
One thing a lot of these women have in common: they are completely and utterly dependent on their men. The men control everything.
What can be done about this? I hate men who beat women. They aren't men; they're just worthless dogs.
9 years 37 weeks ago in Health & Safety - China
I don't know, I just know I don't beat my Chinese wife. I know a lot of men do that in China as well.
She is pretty clumsy (as most Chinese) and kind of walks into things constantly lol. I keep telling her to start practicing Yoga or something.
this has occurred often and the law with immigration was changed, if the woman files a police report and shows documents to immigration, they still allow her to get a green card without the husband signature or support. im not sure what the law was called but it was passed about 10 years ago.
it came up after the bobbitt incident with his manhood cutoff by a lady from south america who said she was abused, to much press and the politician had to make new laws regarding this problem.
the main thing is she has to call police and get written police reports, they send her to a battered womens shelter and she has to get restraining orders, lots of things to do in a culture you may not understand well and the lady thinks the laws are useless like their home country and most never pursue legal remedies available.
1.
What is the Violence against Women Act?
Under the Violence against Women Act (VAWA) passed by Congress in 1994, spouses and children of U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents may self-petition to obtain lawful permanent residency. The immigration provisions of VAWA allow certain battered immigrants to file for immigration relief without the abuser's assistance or knowledge, in order to seek safety and independence from the abuser.
Filial piety at its best. Can't complain about getting beaten up because the family will loose face.
Fun quiz. How many cases about domestic violence have made it to the courts in China? (hint, it is in the range 0-1)
Immigration can isolate: I guess some women find themselves in a place where they know nobody and can't gave much contacts with anybody due to language barrier. So those women are easy to abuse : they can't report their problem. In China, people don't report this kind of problems very often until it's dramatic, but at least they might talk with their relatives. Emigrate : no family anymore to pressure a bad husband into behaving. Things can get worse if only one works.
Things that can be done : free English classes, support groups including immigrant speaking English well, free training for some simple useful skill, free lectures on how laws & justice work. The idea is to make people less isolated, insecure and develop contacts.
RiriRiri:
Nice ideas.
Just not on my taxes.
I happen not to take as a duty to educate people whom in the first place were clearly never suited to be in my land.
expatlife26:
Im for harm reduction, I dont especially want unskilled immigranrs in the US but I would entertain the idea that perhaps things like free english lessons would cost less in the long run. For example less than prisons, and of course the more people legally working the more tax revenue there is. Lets get the borders secure and make smart decisions about what to do with ones already there. If we dont wanna have to pay for social benefits for them long term maybe english lessons are the cheapest option.
icnif77:
@Riri: 'follow the money!'.... from the low wage immigrants receive for their work, and further (money) to the Congress.....men/women.
They are YOURS! Why?
1. You couldn't/didn't protect your vast borders;
2. 'Un-developed neighboring countries' (where most imm. came into USA);
3. Wherever you (illegals) turn in USA, you can get a job.
'No legalization to illegals, because they break the Law' is 'political-manure-you' thingy!
IMHO!
Step into 'immigrants shoes' for few minutes, before you count your paid taxes!
ambivalentmace:
everyone is misinforming about immigration,
when reagan passed amnesty, these people got in line and some waited 11 years for an interview, if amnesty was passed, we only immigrate 1 million people a year and last year we did not hit the target, these people will be waiting on green cards, temporary green cards, fingerprinting, paper work forever, many will die before they get documents,
there is no talk of hiring more government workers to process these people, there are 8 million on the legal list now.
the law will make people feel good but its useless like most of the laws we have.
we dont have enough doctors for all the people, so health laws mean nothing when you cant get an appointment for 9 months, who cares who is paying, you die waiting or you die at the emergency room because the doctor never saw you. great way to get rid of the costly baby boomers and save social security money.
"exposing family ugliness" - tradition at its worst.
The Chinese communities abroad seem to be the most unwilling to integrate, which is a no-win situation for all.
One thing in China I was careful to avoid was becoming stuck in an ex-pat bubble and trying to replicate home when in China.
TBH, what is the point of being in a foreign country and not getting to know it?
coineineagh:
TBH, what is the point of getting to know a foreign country if ... it's China? Heh, reminds me of those old Michael Jackson = punchline jokes. Why did the chicken cross the road? Michael Jackson. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were sitting at the bar. Michael Jackson. How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Michael Jackson. Knock knock... you get the idea. China = the new punchline. Replace MJ with China in all those jokes, and I'll be laughing!
A large number of Chinese men are coward beating their wives, this is not news, they are known for that. I didn't say all of them as I am sure that there are real caring men in China too, but the typical Chinese is a woman abuser and every long term expats know that.
Don't mistake me there are also awful women in China, especially among older women, thanks to communism and its ideal of manly female comrade.
And when I think that Chinese men try to brainwash their women into the idea that every foreigners (white, black or else) are women abusers, it makes me sick.
sorrel:
irony:
"The expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect"
suggestion:
if you want to make a serious point, there is no need to resort to bad language, it just undermines any credibility you might want, and impresses no-one - except maybe another 12 year old. 
Redguard:
I see Sorrell that was very "kind and mature" of you to advise me.
Yeah, where is redguard? He didn't post in the past 2 days it seems. After saying he was an ABC, and then backtracking into saying he's from China, he deleted the comments and disappeared into the works.
Redguard:
Yeah, I have not been online for a few days because I have friends. My posts were deleted by the admin.
All-purpose one-stop solution: only qualified employees and their families, or family of citizens are admissible for immigration. The rest: OUT.
This is more than enough to rule out most of the problem. I guess legitimate qualified workers are much less prone to this sort of drama. We don't have a duty to take responsibility or compensate for them and the civilisation they never built.
icnif77:
There's no money to pay for deportations
!
'Make them legal, what will allow them to work and pay taxes. Deport criminals!'
After that, new Immigration law:
-'Severe monetary penalties for employers, who employ undocumented imm.'
- 'Change Employment law, which will prevent undocumented people to get job', like in EU.
Open online job website in UK or elsewhere in EU, and:
1. Q: Your name?
2. Q: Your passport?
A: 'You're not entitled to work in EU!' (if your passport isn't EU)
Website closed!
In USA, illegal immigrants are 'profit' makers to the employer, (because they work for 'cheap' wage), who further contribute funds to the congressmen……Illegals are there! They are YOURS! If you don't want them, it will cost you a lot of dough to get rid of them. Why you wouldn't want them?
It's just BS talk last 25 years! 'Ohh, we are very concern, because of 25M illegals, and such….' Enough already!
ambivalentmace:
the real scam of immigration in america is amnesty want solve any problems, we dont have the support staff to do fingerprints, green cards, interviews, most of these people will be dead before they get an interview, america barely processes 1 million to be legal with documentation now and no funding for more staff, when reagan did amnesty with a huge fine, some people paid the fine and application and waited 8 years for an appointment, this is the side of the story than neither party ever says, not to mention over 1500 dollars in fees without any new fines and penalties, some people just never pay and never get legal because of cost.
icnif77:
That's what I'm saying: 'Change a Law first!'
Count them, get bio data, and things. Make them same as other Americans. Money spent will return through the taxes later.
Take dirt bags out of USA. You can't deport guy, who's working without papers for 15Y in USA. Oh, but they break the Law! BS!
No, let's get drones on Mexican border to see drug smugglers and illegal immigrants! BS, they just make money selling drones and improving (military) tech.
25Y same talk! Isn't there nobody in US, who would record that BS talk? and make a daily TV show? J. Stewart would do it, but they don't let 'cause it's all rigged. I just realise, we have 'our own Q' here. Sorry, OP!
icnif77:
'only qualified employees and their families, or family of citizens are admissible for immigration...'
There are no qualified illegal immigrants in US. All illegals don't have much of 'the finished education'.
There are channels through the US Embassy to apply as highly qualified for legal entry to US.
It's no.5 in the US Immigration Law (used to be) for deficient professions in the US. That part is very similar to Chinese Z/WP: 'if there's no US citizen, who could do the same job', Embassy will grant legal entry to a foreigner, with Green Card in later process.
Illegals in US are mostly uneducated, came to US, because 'better life' than in their home countries.
It should be priority of US Gov. to support economies in bordering countries, so people could/would stay in their home countries...…
Another thingy is 'USA is nation of immigrants', and not individual 'nation' as Italians, French, Chinese, and so on…..USA is country build by immigrants, almost since Columbus boat sailed there…..
1.What is the Violence against Women Act?
Under the Violence against Women Act (VAWA) passed by Congress in 1994, spouses and children of U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents may self-petition to obtain lawful permanent residency. The immigration provisions of VAWA allow certain battered immigrants to file for immigration relief without the abuser's assistance or knowledge, in order to seek safety and independence from the abuser.
this is the law information
Harpo:
The VAWA act is unconstitutional in so many ways. This particular tidbit you are advertising here creates a ridiculous amount of immigration fraud, and a lot of innocent men have been burned by it. The man who is accused of abuse can not defend himself in court, or access any information about the case. They have even expanded it to include "emotional abuse" which is pretty difficult to prove. So you better not get in an argument with your foreign wife on American soil or she will disappear in the middle of the night, receive permanent residency, then sue you for alimony. Its obvious that feminist politicians want to deter men from going abroad to find wives even at the cost of promoting immigration fraud.
ambivalentmace:
yes, women do rule the western world, and they can enjoy their lonely life, the backlash is coming, men not going to college and refusing to get married.
you can get around the traps of the law, by the way, i just answered the question, i dont condone or advertise the law. my second wife tried to use the law on me for not giving her more money, i told her since i own my own company, i can pay myself a lower salary and raise my employers salary and she can get a small percentage of nothing i pay myself dividends instead of income and she realized i can be as dirty as she could and backed down, also need my income show higher for the affadavit of support for her parents, tough choice, do you want to see mommy and daddy or get more money from me, your a mean man, yes i am an asshole, whats your point. imagine my surprise when she asked for a divorce on paper of course so she could get my income off her tax return and with the kid get 6000 back from taxes instead of nothing, thank your earned income tax credit for creating freeloaders.
this law can be used in many bad ways, especially common with thai and pinoys who have been coached by english speaking relatives already in the states.
you just have to be more careful in your gender selection, a sucker is born every minute.
keep your assets in corporate names (delaware or nevada) and never have joint debt of any kind. having living trusts for your kids (south dakota) to move your retirement accounts to so you avoid any xwife getting the money and screwing your kids. it was quite humorous of my second wife (chinese) to try and scam me though, a soldier and a cpa who did business in the scammer kingdom of scammer heaven on earth (nigeria) for five years, i should have been insulted but i just shook my head and laughed at the folly of an amateur, the nigerians make chinese look like angels for cheating, copying, and fraud.
Harpo:
Good advice and sorry to hear about your troubles. I think if I get married in China I may just never bring her back to the USA until the laws change.
ambivalentmace:
what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger, does ruin your empathy for others sometimes, i wonder what problems robin williams had, what a sad ending to a great man.
expatlife26:
But if men dont make an effort to be competitive they are hurting themselves more than women.
Women might be sitting in the coffee shops bitching about how all the men they know are bums...but theyll do that over lunch and return to their solid white collar jobs and decent apartments.
The dropout men bitching about how feminism ruined their lives will do it from a filthy hovel or their parents basement.
Yeah! Way to teach those awful women! Theyll learn their lesson come around and give up their jobs so you guys can be the bosses again.
Im sorry but the only way to "be a man" is to compete. Giving up gets you nothing.
Harpo:
@Expat: I hate to inform you but teaching English in China isn't exactly being competitive. At least you found a way to drop out while avoiding that basement hovel you are always talking about. Its sort of ironic that a guy who dropped out is so angry about men dropping out. Guess it makes sense though. I personally don't care if some men decide to not play the game. Men are still the experts, leaders, and innovators in most fields regardless as to whether some are dropping out or not. I just want to see these terrible laws changed.
The real problem is that men and women shouldn't be competing at all. They should be working together.Your feminist ideology is why the majority of marriages end in divorce, and why both sexes are not as happy as they used to be.
ambivalentmace:
at my 25 year high school reunion and my college 25 year reunion, about 20 percent of the men never married, and are successful, own their own homes, when i asked why they never married, they said why bother, one of these fine gentleman (use the term loosely) said there are plenty of divorced women with kids to sleep with for the price of dinner in an expensive restaurant and a babysitter, why should he lock himself into financial obligations that cannot be controlled with the " human factor" as he called it.
the point being its not just young men living in mom's basement that feel this way, over the years though, the perceptions and actions have become more prevalent among several age groups.
expatlife26:
Dude i work as a financial analyst and have for over 4 years. I came as a teacher at 22 spent a little more than one term teaching and snuck into a fresh grad spot at a foreign company back in 2010.
im not a feminist at all. A woman saying men are responsible for all their problems is just as hopeless as the reverse. Im saying that YOU specifically are letting your hatred of women define you. Im where i am (for what its worth, im not rich but im comfortable and happy for now) cause i worry about me. About my life my career my happiness. You gotta adapt to the situation around you to get the best outcome you can. If my failures are somebody elses fault, how can i take credit for my successes? For the record though i am not married so take from that what you will.
ambivalentmace:
whoa, somebody has taken general perceptions of human behavior and assumed i fit the mold, no i've been married 3 times and now married and have a 3 month old daughter and could not be happier, and definitely dont hate women, on the contrary, i think women running the world would be a hell of a lot better society.
i do think men should be more logical and less trusting going into a relationship and use the big head not the small one, a grave fault of mine in my youth, then they want complain as much, but if women want to make men out to be archie bunker, al bundy he man walking atm machines with no brain, then they have to live with the results.
if they want metrosexuals, good luck with that.
i wake up everyday amazed that life is good now, given my playboy, player past and keep thinking lightning will strike me dead at any moment, karma can be a - itch.
expatlife26:
Fair enough...I didn't know you were married I shouldn't assume. But that whole "men on strike" bullshit is some of the most counterproductive BS going around today. To me, I read that as typical loser bullshit "It's the other groups fault i'm a loser!"...the same shit that losers who are going nowhere have been saying about white men since the 60s. Those (official) barriers are long gone...what holds people back in the west now are their own failings, and regardless of who's fault that is...the only person who can get over those failings is the person who has them.
Other groups need to STOP saying that about men if they ever want their members to get ahead...we don't need to start. The last thing I want to see are young guys my age and younger becoming worthless finger-pointers who think they'd be don draper if it weren't for feminism. Do you work in adverstising? Were you specifically not hired for a less qualified woman? Then STFU...i'm sure handsome advertising executives in 2014 can have as beautiful a girlfriend as they want. And that lame do nothings didn't get tons of women in 1959 either.
Damn right men have to be responsible and logical. I support anybody who says make good choices and own them. A lot of what i hear from that corner of the internet is "There need to be restrictions on women to make up for our own lack of judgment" and I just don't respect that. Or saying that women/blacks/asians shouldn't have the same opportunities because it will make it harder for me personal to compete. That's loser talk.
I'll set up a santuary for battered Chinese women under 50 kg, just have the sent over.
I don't know, I just know I don't beat my Chinese wife. I know a lot of men do that in China as well.
She is pretty clumsy (as most Chinese) and kind of walks into things constantly lol. I keep telling her to start practicing Yoga or something.
I wonder how common it is here, tough to get decent info.
