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Q: Are some foreigners unhappy in China because they have too high expectation?
I understand many you are not happy in China, even i also sometimes not happy because lots of things are wrong. But this is China, not New York or London or Toronto. I think some foreigners unhappy because they compare and expect same quality of life. Have to know that China is not on level of your country. Even Beijing and Shanghai is not same scale as the best cities in America. I think if foreigners accept this, they certainly more happy. Don't you agree?
No, your reasoning is faulty.
You suggest that our 'unhappiness' comes from a different "quality of life". This is NOT the case.
The problem isn't the lack of conveniences we're used to, technology, service, or other such mundane sources, that change from society to society - it's not a society-based issue.
It's the lack of basic human values - things that stretch across and between societies. Such things as racism, and the lack of integrity, compassion and respect. Respect for other people, for animals, for the environment. The ability to consider the consequences of actions - not just on oneself, but also on others, and all those around us.
These things are NOT ideas of which we have "too high expectations" - because they're basicexpectations... of everyone, everywhere (else in the world).
It's something as simple as spitting - where other people will walk... to how people drive (head down, look straight ahead - no-one else matters) to the official corruption, and the incessant need to put money above human life.... and lying to 'save face'.
Add to that the blind ignorance that many people display here. The need to think outside the box, or even to think at all - especially to think of another person. The complete ignorance of laws that are designed to protect people
Then - add on top of all that, the belief that China is far better than any other country in the world, and has absolutely NO problems whatsoever
THAT'S what makes us unhappy with China.
There are many things I like about China.... and many things I don't. I live with it (and try to avoid the stuff I don't like).
ciaoAlice:
200% agree!
Your comment reminds me of one saying which is often referred to rich mainlanders, "You have money but no taste". China's economic power has been enhanced, but the quality of people hasn't......
Jnusb416:
I guess I was a little too nice about it, but this is definitely true. China has some good points, but in the end, I decided it wasn't worth coming back for another year. The process of looking for another job was too daunting a task the second time around. There are more hoops to jump through, more paperwork, but getting a job in Korea seems more stable.
Why do you keep asking us about our unhappiness? We're fine, thanks. However, I'd like to say that when you grow up with certain conveniences, it can be difficult to adjust. When you see and experience things all the time that are considered rude in your culture, it can be difficult to adjust. This is not just a forum, but an online community, a place where we can find understanding that we can't find elsewhere. The easiest way for us to let it go is to complain about it to people who are willing to listen. That's how we get over things, and I think as long as it isn't hurting too many people, it's fine. We're not here specifically to hurt other peoples' feelings or to put China down. After all, if we didn't like China, why would we be here? It's not about being happy all the time, or saying we like things all the time. The happy moments are definitely there, but we can hold onto those. If we hold on to the bad things, the sadness, the loneliness, the anger, it's unhealthy. It's ok if you want to complain here too, we don't mind. Come join the family. Those that complain together, stay together.
LAR:
Jnusb416,
Well said! Jeez, some Chinese worry waaaaaaaay too much about what other people are doing or thinking or saying,etc. etc. Relax! As far as some foreigners maybe having too high expectations, that does have some merit. For South Korea, I'd say the same. * Have low expectations.
Lorenzo
danielmarino:
Good speech!!!
My workmates always ask me:
"Are you happy?"
"Do you feel alone? You are the only foreigner here. You must be no happy.You must find Chinese wife."
"Why you are not married? You are not happy, right?"
As Jnusb said: WE ARE FINE, THANKS!
Well said, Jnusb, very well said ! It sure deserves to be the answer of the day, week and month !.
The answer is still obviously yes though, because 'some' foreigners do 'expect' things.
When you expect something, or anything, you're just building yourself up for disappointed when you don't get it, or when you do achieve such thing then it is gone.
"If I do not have this or this, I cannot be happy" - what kind of mentality is that? You can be happy to start with, having none of those things!
Happy!! Of course!
The second I'm not happy I would just go back home. Nobody forces me to stay here.
No, your reasoning is faulty.
You suggest that our 'unhappiness' comes from a different "quality of life". This is NOT the case.
The problem isn't the lack of conveniences we're used to, technology, service, or other such mundane sources, that change from society to society - it's not a society-based issue.
It's the lack of basic human values - things that stretch across and between societies. Such things as racism, and the lack of integrity, compassion and respect. Respect for other people, for animals, for the environment. The ability to consider the consequences of actions - not just on oneself, but also on others, and all those around us.
These things are NOT ideas of which we have "too high expectations" - because they're basicexpectations... of everyone, everywhere (else in the world).
It's something as simple as spitting - where other people will walk... to how people drive (head down, look straight ahead - no-one else matters) to the official corruption, and the incessant need to put money above human life.... and lying to 'save face'.
Add to that the blind ignorance that many people display here. The need to think outside the box, or even to think at all - especially to think of another person. The complete ignorance of laws that are designed to protect people
Then - add on top of all that, the belief that China is far better than any other country in the world, and has absolutely NO problems whatsoever
THAT'S what makes us unhappy with China.
There are many things I like about China.... and many things I don't. I live with it (and try to avoid the stuff I don't like).
ciaoAlice:
200% agree!
Your comment reminds me of one saying which is often referred to rich mainlanders, "You have money but no taste". China's economic power has been enhanced, but the quality of people hasn't......
Jnusb416:
I guess I was a little too nice about it, but this is definitely true. China has some good points, but in the end, I decided it wasn't worth coming back for another year. The process of looking for another job was too daunting a task the second time around. There are more hoops to jump through, more paperwork, but getting a job in Korea seems more stable.
I wasn't happy there (I've left China, one of the best decisions I've ever made) and I'm sorry but I 100 per cent agree with what Shining said above.
You're right in a way about quality of life, but I think perhaps not in the way you meant it. It's not about good, services or conveniences, neccessarily. Quality of life is affected by society and culture, at least as much as more tangible and measurable development benchmarks. Personally, I've been entirely happy in third world countries that have WAAAAAY lower development indices than China.
There's just something missing in terms of human interaction where I was.The blind ignorance, and apathy to any but one's own self and one's own circle, which was displayed by the majority of the people really, really wore myself and my partner down. Perhaps I was unlucky.
LAR:
Miss A: There's nothing for you to apologize about. Your words are quite apt, and frankly are a sad reflection of China. Here's an example. I recently read about a Western guy who had previously traveled here. He was with a group of other tourists I believe, and they came upon a car accident. There was a Chinese female victim on the pavement on her knees. NOBODY stopped to help her. The Western guy asked the driver if he was gonna stop and try to help. The Chinese driver's reply was "No, it would be bad luck." :( * I've NEVER heard of such a STUPID,INSENSITIVE comment in my life! :( * That was someone's mother or sister or girlfriend or wife,etc.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( A******E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
The number of countries which habitually abort females make up the minority in the world. I don't consider objecting to sex- selective abortion a 'too high expectation'.
-If I wanted to live in the Dark Ages I'd go back to Latin Mass.
You know i met a girl who told me she doesn't know all the chinese cultures herself. They call every stupid act culture. It's even worse in this my end here.
It's not about quality of life; it's about common human decency. A world dominated by China would be a terrible thing, without soul or compassion.
I walk around listening to 80s hair bands on my Sansa. Is there some kind of problem here I should complain about?
Don't cut across my groove, panda. Mr. Buzzkill.
It's because of all the hype in recent years about China.
But what people don't realize is that good and bad aspects of countries are measured in different ways. Not all of these measurements are that practical in real life.
For example, everyone used to talk about the US or Europe and how developed it was, and freedom etc etc..bla bla bla...and so they hear all the great developments in China and they want to come to experience it. But what if what they liked about their country was driving down a road and not seeing too many people? Then they won't find that in China for sure. This doesn't mean anything bad about China, this just means it's not suitable for what they want.
Sometimes people don't understand what it is about their life that they actually appreciate. And economic growth, prosperity and power do not always equal the kind of happiness that every person needs or is looking for. So people just have to stop making assumptions that these formulas of success or money always insure the happiness and inner-peace they seek.
Unhappy? Not me.
I just did my last day for this semester. I get paid very, very well for a small amount of work and just got paid for two months where I don't have to work at all! The school buys me round trip tickets every year to go back home and visit (which I'll be doing this Monday for two weeks!). I'm taking home a large amount of cash, which I'll deposit in my American bank. I have wonderful students who I have trained to be conscientious and to ask questions. I'm married to a wonderful woman who I adore. So what is not to be unhappy about.
The rude and inconsiderate people here? Naw. The crazy drivers? Naw. The 8th Century attitude of ethics and logic? Naw. All the rest of the true things that people have pointed out above? Naw.
'Cause ya know what? By the time China implodes, I, my dears, will be gone. See, I have learned something from the Chinese!!
