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Posts: 125

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Q: Being quite straightforward, how do Chinese people breakup?

As far as I could see, Chinese people are quite the straightforward type. If the wanna go out, they will ask without any innuendos. I suppose they could consider it practical, they don't waste time...

I was wondering if breakups occurs similarly. Wouldn't it be awkward for the guy/gal come up and say with a very cold face "hey i'm breaking up. thank you, good luck and bai"? Shock

12 years 33 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 423

Shifu

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Yes i heard from lots of Chinese, they frank and just tell each other the time has come.. we need to break up. They not friend no more....

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 125

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That's quite... straightforward. Are they really deprived of any emotion or do they keep it to themselves as to not lose face, I wonder...

And Njord, I'm not a Western guy nor a "Traditional Chinese girl" Wink ... I was wondering if Chinese guy would be insensitive when they broke up with a girl, being a Chinese girl or a Westerner. Can the Chinese guy be the bad guy? Shock

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

Emperor

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Wait until these women learn they hold all the cards. You break up first, then you don't have to sit and cry, just pick a day in advance when you first meet. And wham it's over, file a restrainng order.
That's how you do it. Cool Cool

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 91

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"Straight forward" huh? Only when they DON'T want something.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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Never happened to me in any of my relationships.
We didn't say anything, but if it's time then we knew we would not be able to be together.
And it's wired, I can always be friends with my ex-.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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Maybe I don‘t have so many relationships~

None of my relationships(2) turned to be ugly.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

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get up early in the morning and leave, thats how i do it, and never tell them your real name

wenna, you must go out with me sometime soon

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 362

Shifu

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I asked the Chinese intern at the office, because she had a breakup not too long ago, and she cried about it a lot. I wish she was moar professional and continue to do her job, because I had to scold her a lot for her inappropriate attitude in the workplace. I called her to my office, and when she arrived, i took a pen and paper while making her stand up in front of me. I wouldn't want to miss any details to her answer!

She was a bit embarrassed, not knowing why I called her. Of course, I wanted her to feel comfortable so I took out from a drawer the head of my happy chicken costume and put it on to lighten the atmosphere. I then asked her to tell me in details how her last boyfriend broke up with her. She looked at Mr smiling chicken, and started to cry. I'm happy she couldn't see my "i'm disappointed face" under the costume's head, because I can't make her drink at work, plus she's not my Chinese girlfriend.

Apparently, his ex called her to meet her in a cafe to tell her it was over. He said in Chinese that by staying with her, he wouldn't advance as fast as he wanted in his career, and that he may have found the daughter of a rich business owner in Shanghai, and that it could land him a job and a nice position there. The Chinese intern didn't give me all the details in block, I had to press her quite a bit, but she ended up coughing-up everything, I think. I hope her experience can be of halp to everybody here in answers.echinacities.com !

GuilinRaf:

Yes, i have heard of this "style" being used. Quite mercenary if you ask me yet amazingly it seems to work well and there are less psycho-stalkings. On the other hand, I have also observed others tell the girl "I am not good enough for you" etc. and try to spin it in a way to make it seem like they are doing them a favor. This does not work out too well. And last but not least, some say nothing and just start to date anther girl, ingore the first one, delete her emails, etc. This one causes girls to go Nova....

12 years 21 weeks ago
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steve0sha:

my god you sound like a right weirdo, don't you  think you invaded her privacy asking intimate questions that she was clearly upset and mocking her with a chicken head costume on.  Admittedly it sounds funny as fuck but more like something David Brent would do from the office.  Don't you think as her boss you acted non professional?

12 years 1 day ago
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12 years 33 weeks ago

Getting halp from moar and moar people is like spin-o-rama high-fiving new friends on answers.echinacities.com with a tip of the hat finishing move.

 
Posts: 19

Governor

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Some chinese men are straightforward but i know other chinese men are not because most dont like arguments or making the girl cry.

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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
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What I have heard from my students is that the boy will often tell the girl that "he is not good enough for her".

Xpat.John:

The western equivalent of "Its not you, its me."

12 years 20 weeks ago
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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3318

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I don't think the Chinese are straightforward at all, in fact the entire culture is built around not being straightforward. 

That said, they are straight forward when they see nothing to gain. So a breakup is probably pretty damned cruel. 

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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
Posts: 74

Governor

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I know I'm digging up an old thread, but from what I've seen, I'd have to disagree with most of the answers here. From my experience things are VERY straightforward here. The girls especially don't play around.

 

And for those who think only Chinese girls put on scenes in the street, boy are you wrong. I've seen guys going absolutely crazy - screaming, hitting, etc.

GuilinRaf:

I have seen younger girls putting up a fight and screaming and going  ballistic. As to the guys, they usually tend to be older. I have yet to see a college age guy do so but plenty of 30+ year olds.

12 years 1 day ago
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12 years 1 day ago
 
Posts: 182

Shifu

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From my past experience here, i think it depends if the girl really liked you and if she really cares if she ends up hurting you or not; my ex wasn't that very straight forward with her reason for wanting to breakup, I know there was more to it than what was said but in the end, I took it for what it was..

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12 years 1 day ago
 
Posts: 121

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--say the truth,explain the reason,make an agreement---break up...

--if the man / woman doesn't agree, then raise requirement and ask him/her whether can reach or not and when...

--if love already gone...then mostly easy to break up...

laugh

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12 years 1 day ago
 
Posts: 1008

Shifu

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Wow, so in all these posts we can say no one really knows. But the one thing I would surely agree with is Chinese are not straighforward and only do things that would benefit themselves not a partner or a friend.

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12 years 18 hours ago
 
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