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Posts: 724

Shifu

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Q: Can the baby be mine?

I met an expat friend last night. While drinking, he told me he would only have sex with Chinese women, but never had a Chinese girlfriend. The only time when he liked a Chinese woman, the next time he saw her he realized she has been dating his best expat friend for a while. So anyways, after they've seeing each other for a while, she told him, you know, you should go and date other women as I will never be in a relationship with you. A month later, she was married, to a Chinese guy. Another month later, the baby was born. He thought it was too fast, so he asked her, can the baby be his. She said, well, no, this has nothing to do with you.

 

 

After he left, I opened my wechat and checked her baby pics from my phone. Can the baby be mine?

 

10 years 49 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 879

Emperor

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This story has no logical cohesion. Here are two crucial points though:

 

1. You don't have expat friends. So aside from being illogical the story is implausible.

 

2. You haven't had sex with a girl. So any babies that exist aren't yours. Relax.

 

Spiderboenz:

Also, this Spongebob is a  woman...

10 years 49 weeks ago
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SpongeBob:

Also, spiderboenz is the one that was pregnant.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 879

Emperor

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This story has no logical cohesion. Here are two crucial points though:

 

1. You don't have expat friends. So aside from being illogical the story is implausible.

 

2. You haven't had sex with a girl. So any babies that exist aren't yours. Relax.

 

Spiderboenz:

Also, this Spongebob is a  woman...

10 years 49 weeks ago
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SpongeBob:

Also, spiderboenz is the one that was pregnant.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 127

Governor

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China really needs to offer students better sex ed classes.

nzteacher80:

About 9 months after the man puts his tummy-banana into the woman's twinkle cave a baby will appear.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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Samsara:

 

"the man puts his tummy-banana into the woman's twinkle cave"

 

That just made sex even better.

 

10 years 49 weeks ago
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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 380

Governor

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Am I missing something here?  He was seeing the girl, a month later she was married and another month later a baby was born.  I know Chinese bodies are different, but it seems rather quick.  Shouldn't there be sex too?angry

nzteacher80:

They held hands and kissed while sitting down - the baby is definitely his.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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coineineagh:

usually, only the couple is there for the sex. it would be even stranger if this guy could give a blow by blow of the married couple's sex part...

10 years 49 weeks ago
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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1198

Shifu

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If the baby is yours then there's a good chance it will be well retarded and will be a terrible burden on its mother and surrogate father. If it's not yours then it will live a normal and happy life. I can only see this situation as win-win from my perspective.

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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 759

Shifu

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If you have square pants, then there is a good possibility that the baby is yours. Call Squiggly in the morning for your lobotomy.

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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1095

Shifu

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As every Chinese guys know, there is indeed a risk that you got her pregnant if you held her hand or kissed her, and if she gave you a blowjob it's almost 100% sure.

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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
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A: 1. Native speaker. 2. Bachelor's degree, minimum. Apostilled. The
A:1. Native speaker. 2. Bachelor's degree, minimum. Apostilled. They stopped recognizing online degrees several years ago. . 3. Either a teaching certification from your home country/iPGCE or a 120 hrs TEFL course. Apostilled 4. Criminal background check from your home country issued within the past 6 months. Apostilled.  This is rigid. The only legal loopholes for non-native speakers to legally teach are if they're already certified as a subject teacher in their home country, or if they obtained their degree in one of the designated native English speaking countries.  -- Spiderboenz