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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Can we make friend?
It went like this:
The building where my office is, has a open space patio every 2 floors, one floor has the patio the next has an open corridor overlooking the patio.
I was on the patio taking a short break, a Chinese guy in his 30s (never met before) on the corridor.
Chinese guy: Hello
Me: Hello
Cg: How are you?
Me: Fine
Cg: What's your name?
Me: XXXXX
Cg: Where are you from?
Me: Italy
Cg: Where's your office?
Me: On this floor
Cg: Can we make friend?
Me: No
Cg: Ah? No? (with big surprise on his face)
Then I walked away....
I know many of you already been through this many times, as much as I did. But still, even after 10 years, I cannot get used to these things. Most of the times I don't reply back, but sometimes I try to be polite. WRONG......
"Can we make friends ?" that will go nowhere, phone number exchanged yet nobody will call nobody. If we ever see again, 99% chance the conversation will go nowhere past "Do you like Chinese food ?". Many times ^^ I'm always torn between being sarcastic (knowing the likelihood) or being polite.
andy74rc:
Given the fact that almost in my 40s I don'[t give a flying damn about exchanging numbers with a perfectly unknown human being that approaches me, making friend with somebody means to me at least sharing some common interests.
I highly doubt this guys could have been the perfect mate to discuss about macroeconomics, radio controlled airplanes and off road riding.....
expatlife26:
Damn right...our time does not belong to random people. It's not like it's acceptable or common in Chinese culture to do this, the fact they do it to us shows that they don't respect our time or personal space the way they would another local.
I was sitting in a restaurant one day and a Uni student sat down and asked the same thing . they were a little confused when I told him to go away so my wife could sit down
i have no problem becoming 'friends' with people i meet often: there is usually a basis for the friendship..
It is strange being approached by random people and having my phone number demanded - it is like i am part of a collection they make.
I always say i don't know my phone number, which is true.
if they are persistent and insist i enter their number, i do, but delete it later because i know i will never meet them again.
It is definitely a strange way to approach someone. I had it a lot when I was living near universities - and then I knew what they really mean is can you teach me English for free. I usually say no and go back to doing whatever it was I was doing when they interrupted me. It would piss me of no end when they would interrupt me while I was reading a book with my headphones in (universal sign for F-off, I don't want to be spoken to)
But twice, when I was in happy-go-lucky mood I went with it and said sure. One of them = weirdo, but the other actually ended up a really good friend of mine. Language learning make idiots of us all sometimes.
expatlife26:
I know what you mean...I met an awesome guy that I used to play basketball with in line at the PSB once. But his English was nearly flawless and he commented on something relevant to strike up a conversation. That's a natural way to make friends.
It's these people that can't speak english who try to force me to engage with them when I'm on the metro with headphones on that I find disrespectful.
It happened to me last Saturday! Chinese guy showed me, how to read bus number on the ticket, to recognize which bus I must board.
Then he told me, he'll travel to Iran in 10 days.
Me: OK!
He: 'Phone number.....??'
Me: 'Zhi bu dao my phone number!'
He: 'Phone number....'
I got SIM card wrap paper from my valet, and showed him phone number.
Me: 'Can you call me from Iran?'
He: ' friends...!???
I find it kinda disrespectful. You see someone you don't know and assume that they should be willing to give you their time?
I try to be as polite as possible, but i've learned to be very firm in not giving out my number or going back to my kindle if i'm not in the mood to chat, especially if they ask personal questions.
If it's rude to reject an imposition, it's just as rude to impose. If someone chooses not to read your body language that says "I am not happy with this" then they are being a jerk.