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Q: Chat up lines
Ok I recently purchased a Lonely Planet Mandarin Phrase book and dictionary. Whilst skimming through it in the pub last night I could not help but stop and look at the Romance section on page 140. I did not believe it necessary to have one.
The thing is, there were chat up lines, and one line in particular has struck me as a little odd. "You look like some cousin of mine" or "Ni zhangde xiang wode biaomei" (Please excuse the lack of correct characters, English keyboard & all).
To me that sounds a little incestual to say it to another person. But do people really say things like that? Or is the author exaggerating a little?
11 years 10 weeks ago in Relationships - China
I'm not sure whether many girls would buy it "you look like some cousin of mine" as somehow a way to flirt. But yes it's flirting! Many Chinese people are too reserved to express their fancy into someone. So instead they use this "brother and sister" way to get attached and as a beginning of developing their relationship.
In many beautiful Chinese folk songs about romance, the girl and the guy play the "sister and brother" roles.
I remember in middle school how some classmates used this way to cover up their real intentions.
dharma86:
Does that mean if you're courting a Chinese girl and she's referring to some other dude as her 'brother', is that a cause for concern?
ohChina:
Yes. It doesn't mean they have an affair. But they do look pretty innocent in this way, right? Actually in today's Chinese relationships culture, the dude is often regarded as a "spare tire" that backs up the girl's feeling of "being safe". It means if she gets bullied by her boyfriend, she has a "extra close friend" to turn to for help. And if her relationship doesn't go well, she could quickly have an alternative, without a long "empty window" time.
I wonder that this website doesn't give you a notification after I reply to you comment. How can I know my comment notifies to the previous one that it is intended to? So troublesome.
That's just like the old saying goes "You look like a distant cousin of mine" It probably just means that the looks run in the family.....and if the person says you look like someone in their family it probably just means just that, that the genes for good looks run in their family.
In the West, it means "I'm into incest."
Wow, that rhymes.
I don't know about your cousins, but mine are as ugly as a mud fence. (Kind of like me.)
Normally, I just use "Hello." And if they don't fall over laughing, I know that I have a shot.
Amonk:
The ones that laugh are the only ones I think I have a shot with. Uncomfortable giggles and inappropriate smiles are like my Batsignal.
But how odd would it be if a Chinese girl said that to you? Would they be implying that you look Chinese, or that their Chinese cousin looked like a westerner?
MissA:
I travelled in Malaysia with a Australian-Malaysian-Chinese guy friend for a few weeks. The amount of people who asked if we were brother and sister was staggering - um, dudes, genetically he's Chinese and I'm pasty....
remember, this is china. you must understand chinese culture
DaveP84:
If you read some of my other posts, then you would know that I am not out there yet. That is until next month of course. I just had to ask though ;)
What's a Chinese girl going to think when a non-Chinese guy says they look like their cousin? 
