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anonymous
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Q: is this Chinese guy interested in me?

 

I’m from Lon­don, UK. I live in Beijing and just past my first year. I have a big query about a Chinese guy. We met when I first arrived in China on my first day of work. He’s local and was very friendly from the first day. After a few weeks I real­ised that there’s a mutual attrac­tion. He star­ted star­ing a lot and turn­ing around. Then he star­ted chat­ting to me. Because we work in a government agency I was always wary of starting some­thing. There is this rule prohibiting foreign­ers and local staff hav­ing a relationship. Foreigners and loc­als can’t get together at work; it’s definitely forbidden. In the sum­mer we had lunch a few times. He seemed to ask about my fam­ily and plans for the future. I know Chinese men are very long term and think about mar­riage when dat­ing. So I decided to not be too obvi­ous that I liked him in the office. Then in the autumn I went away a few times on vaca­tion and when I came back he was really pleased to see me! He was keen to know who I went on hol­i­day with and asked if I went with boys or girls. It seemed like he wanted know if I had a partner. Just before christ­mas I decided to make a small move and text him. I invited him out for a cof­fee. He replied within a minute! We had din­ner and the chem­istry was undeniably difficult to hide. I think he was pleased I made a move. My Chinese female friend said that he would never have asked me out.  When I came back from christ­mas he discovered that he’s going to Cam­bodia for a job pro­mo­tion with the com­pany. I’m aware he was inadequate with his cur­rent job pos­i­tion. He fin­ished uni­ver­sity later than usual. Again he asked me my plans for when my China con­tract and visa expire. I said to him I’m unsure and will see how it goes. At our Chinese New Year party he jumped up on stage and hugged me and gave me a flower. He is now away and it was pleas­ant good­bye. He invited me to visit and said to keep in touch. I don’t think he would invite just any­one to visit, so I feel pos­it­ive about this. I decided to give him 2 months to settle in and leave him “be”. I emailed him just a short email, hi etc. He replied quickly and said that it was nice to hear from me.  A pre­vi­ous for­eign col­league 3 years ago lost his job because he was dat­ing a chinese col­league from the same office so I am kind of sure it is about that. He went out of his way to know me. My other male chinese col­leagues haven’t made so much effort so he stood out. And of course he’s at that mar­ry­ing age. I’d love to know your thoughts! In the last email I sent I said to him that I’m leav­ing our com­pany. I told him I was in Eng­land on hol­i­days and didn’t men­tion any­thing about vis­it­ing him. A few lines about work. I asked him about his work that he is doing over there. He replied promptly and said sorry and that he feels bad for not being in touch as much. He also said I can visit any­time I like. He actu­ally men­tioned some places and sights that he wants to show me while I’m there — so that makes me think he’s put a bit of thought into it. He also signed the email with his real Chinese name which he’s never done before. Thanks and best wishes

6 years 43 weeks ago in  Relationships - Beijing

 
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I say...go for it!

 

It is evident that you are interested and you like him. Try!! What is the worst than can happen? He is very lucky to have someone thinking about all this so much and even taking the time to post a long question in a site like this, there is no mistake that you are into him so just find out what he really feels. 

 

I am not Chinese but I am a shy person when I really like a girl, hence sometimes I wonder if somebody thinks about all this same things you do and I will never find out. Let him find out about it and don't think too much. Have a beer before confronting him, it seems to be an extremely helpful lubricant for communication wink.

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Your from the Uk,hes from China,you have only been here a year,a previous workmate lost his job 3 years ago?you both work in the same office goverment?Just doesnt sound right

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Yes I'd say so! Ask him he would know the answer better than anyone here!

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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iam not sure but i think you should  follow your heart but go slow 

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
Posts: 129

Governor

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Follow your instincts..
what i am trying to say is that the initial or first impression or the gut feeling usually is right.

Maybe because of the rules, he was tring to navigate between them.
signing his name in Chinese is a good sign for me..go for it

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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He if definitely interested in you.

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Governor

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Did he have a three inch lump in his pants.......no then he hates you

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
Posts: 233

Governor

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he likes you, go for it.

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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when I leave the company and my visa expires...it will be insightful I guess...

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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All though some of you thumbs downed paulmartin, he is correct. The whole post is fishy, troll maybe. But for the most part, it's impossible to work as a foreigner in a Chinese government agency and vise versa, the fact that she is from the UK and doesn't know how to handle a man is absolutely impossible. I call troll

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Ask yourself one thing: Why you should not ask him directly? What, afraid of a NO? Or afraid of a YES? Smile Go for it...

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
Posts: 55

Governor

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if your a man...and this is a gay question..

 

dont do it..you and that other fag will be shot in the head .

 

your questions makes me think your a homo because you never indicated that your a female.. 

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6 years 43 weeks ago
 
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