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Q: Chinese men > foreign men. Chinese women only seek foreigners because Chinese men reject them.
I was told that the only reason my wife is with me is because she can't find a Chinese man, so she needs to "settle" for a lowly foreigner such as myself. This automatically infers that Chinese are superior to all foreigners. This came from a dishelved 35-year-old, single man, of course.
Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I've heard such logic. Several of my friends have experienced the same thing. Some of us have Chinese friends who spew this garbage to their foreign friends, but it isn't directed at them; just Chinese women in general.
You know... it kinda reminds me of all the idiots back home: when a white girl is out with a black guy, she's a "race traitor who couldn't land an upstanding white businessman," but as soon as there's a white guy with a black girl, the same people might as well do a complete 360 and praise the white guy.
Is it just me, or does this seem like racism and jealousy mixed up? Has anyone else come across this crap?
there is obviusly a difference in definition of female beauty between chinese men and foreign men...
I have heard many times foreigners say this girl/women is beautiful... when as per chinese standards she is far low...
many chinese has pointed at chinese women walking with foreign men ans told me that these foreigners have no taste of beauty...
i believe that is right to a certain extend.. for example some stupid thin act crazy (cute as per chinese) chinese girl with 2-3 dogs etc... many chinese men are after her.... i wont even go near her even if free!!
i believe it will work vice versa as well... (i am not saying all foreigners got ugly gf's..) .. Some chinese girls who are not conidered soo beautiful in chinese mens mind.. get a lot of praise and love from foreign men... because they think she is beautiful... She happily settles with him.
etc etc.. hope u got the point
GuilinRaf:
Yes, as long as they are happy and find each other attractive, who cares what the rest of the Galaxy thinks.
诸葛亮:
Almost every day I walk down the streets with my wife, and people will talk about us behind our backs, in front of us, etc. "She's too short for him. What's wrong with him?", "Wow, she's too short. How did a woman like her manage to find such a tall and handsome Laowai?", "She must be rich."
I usually turn around and say "I chose my wife because I have an incurable disease that causes me to avoid whores" or, "Because she's not an uptight bitch like you."
maggiegirly:
Ours are the opposite,It doesn't mean my husband is ugly or old,He's young ,a good looking man, and myself like Crimo said, attractive to both Chinese and westerners. So, people think only rich guys can get me,In fact, My husband is not rich,I married him because of love.
i've been with beautiful women (chinese ) who are beautiful to both chinese men and foreign men. what women have told me(those who are exclusively looking for foreign men), is they want a man that respects them as an equal. they do not want to be abused again. they need sexual satisfaction. or they find foreign men more attractive.
many chinese men have a version of the napoleon complex. i call it the 3 inch mentality. they can't accept their own short comings . (everyone has shortcomings but work to overcome them) but these chinese men choose to create a delusional fantasy out of lies. they hate women, and blame others for their problems.
i do not think it an issue of beauty. i've seen both chinese men and foreign men with both ugly women and beautiful women. and i've seen some truly ugly women (but they were good women) with handsome men. so i do not think it is an issue of beauty. it has more to do with respect and treatment. chinese women now have a choice. they were always told to accept bad behavior from men. now more and more women are refusing to accept bad behavior. and chinese men are having trouble adjusting to the new reality.
crimochina:
i forgot to mention. chinese men often reject women based on silly reasons. her job (she earns too much) her education (she is too educated) her family status, past bfs, etc
Thakkudu:
looking around.. i had the impression that chinese women are more powerful than their husbands... husbands cook... women shouts.. husband goes after her appologising etc...
LAR:
Excellent comments crimo! Well said! There are also douche-bag Chinese males who won't accept a beautiful Chinese gal..one of the so-called "leftover women" due to her age.
诸葛亮:
You aren't kidding, crimo. I can't stand listening to Chinese men complain about women. They made women into the so-called "selfish bitches" that they are now. Just think, if women were treated with respect, do you think they'd be the way many of them are now?
I can't stand hearing them say shit like this: "She's too short," "She's too tall," "She's not pretty enough," "She wants a daughter too," "I don't like her clothes," etc. I think that when you're living in a country where men vastly outnumber the women, you should get on your fucking knees and thank God that a woman is even interested in you.
My wife is considered "too short" by most Chinese people's "standards." She's only 4'10" or 4'11", and men often told her, "You're too short" (they still do!). When she met her ex-boyfriend, who didn't care about her height, he demanded that if they got married, she would be the one to teach their children, and he'd do nothing to help her. Oh, and he only wanted a son. Nothing else. And that's the story of why she was a virgin before meeting me.
crimochina:
(chinese) she was lucky. i have met many divorced women whose husbands left them because they had a daughter. (as we all know the woman is to blame for that) at least she knew beforehand.
诸葛亮:
I met a lot of single moms in Hunan. It's heartbreaking. What did they ALL have in common? They gave birth to daughters.
I've met women in other provinces who refer to their own sons as "his son" (as in, her husband's son), not "our son" even though she gave birth to him. It's clear a lot of women think they're nothing but a baby boy machine.
Or ... some Chinese women seek foreigners because they reject what the Chinese men offer, not vice-versa.
That's a lot of bullshit. There's a lack of women in China, we all know why. None of these guys would turn down a shot at the title.
Sorry guys, I took the meaning of this wrong.
I don't know about your wife but I know lots of Chinese guys believe my husband needs to be rich to get me.
Like he wouldn't be better than Chinese guys if he wasn't rich.
诸葛亮:
My wife doesn't care about money, or anything. She doesn't care about my skin color, and she doesn't care that I'm a foreigner. I'm pretty broke, but she doesn't care. I can offer a green card, but she doesn't want to leave China. She wants to stay here with her family and friends.
Need to do some convincing...
maggiegirly:
My thinking is the same with your wife.
What I really care about is LOVE.
we are happy together,that's more important.
I wish you and your wife good luck.
So there we have it! Foreign men who cannot get a girl come to China out of desperation, and Chinese girls who cannot get a boy "settle" for Foreign men. God forbid that it may be something else, like love perhaps?
Now, IF that were true, then
a) Whats wrong with that? Two lonely people finding companionship?.
b) (more importantly) why do so many of them look so happy?
My sister and her husband have been together for 12 years in the States and they STILL get this grief from the Asian and Hispanic/Latino Community (he is Asian -American, my sister is Hispanic/Latino).
For me, this is just another form or racism, the arrogance of thinking that someone from ones own race could actually find or even prefer someone of a different race and find them more attractive or even a better match.
诸葛亮:
Couldn't agree more. I dislike people who say, "What a loser! You couldn't get X back home, so you had to go to Y to find Z."
Those people are just jealous that someone is happy now. Even if they have the same thing as them, they're still jealous: only someone terribly unhappy would say such crap. Wanting others to fail shows immense desperation and degeneracy.
I've long-maintained the idea that people should go where they'll be happy, where they can succeed, etc. What's the other option? Sit around and wait for it to come to you? No, the future belongs to those who seize the moment.
Depends what country the foreigner comes from and what his job is there.
Love is the most important of course, but on the side there are other things too. Such as a nicer home, safer food, fresher air, more freedoms, clean beautiful beaches, wildlife viewing, greater security of money and property, having a back yard with grass and a BBQ, cleaner and safer streets, more parks, etc.
A middle class man from my home country can provide these things. Can a rich man in China? no. Not because of their character, but simply because of location.
I am not saying anything bad about Chinese men, I am just saying that some Chinese women feel they can live a better life with a foreigner for them and their children.
i think number one thing that attracts chinese girls to westerners is because we are different, from personality to the way we dress and our everyday lifestyle, sure you will find girls who are after money and more of them are becoming like this but i wil have you know i think more chinese girls are rejecting chinese men, from so many men to chose from and ive seen this for myself girls dating multiple guys or having an affair. but all this none sense about money or being rejected by chinese man is just pure hate they prob think we are taking their women when in fact its the girls choice to chose who she wants to be with
I have seen a lot of unstable chinese girls here in china too, a foreigner dates a chinese girl then he introduces her to his chinese friend and the girl ends up in the chinese friend's hands.
Yes my gf told me when we first met that it is only because the Chinese male population has ignored her that I would be her next best bet.....ok...not.
Her first bf was German...second one was Chinese and third was me. She HATES Chinese men (for many reasons...yes mostly generalized) because of experience.
She hates Taiwanese and Japanese men even more...why?
As crimo said I bring her pleasure..make her feel like a lady..treat her as an equal and respect her.
Throw all that attraction shit out the window because that's what really matters in the end.
my chinese wife divorced 2 times from chinamen and then settled for me because she had been used and abused by 2 other guys........new age bitch (46) with a mind of her own and I love her for it.
Statistically speaking, the opposite is probably much more true. Due to the current gender imbalance being at around 1.17 something like 1 in 4 Chinese men under the age of 35 will never get married simply for the lack of available partners. In practical terms that means tens of millions of frustrated Chinese men cursing the relatively few foreigners that take up with the local women. That alone would seem to indicate that Chinese women are the ones who get to be more discerning. According to China daily 70% of Chinese women feel that a man must have a either a car or apartment to offer her.
So no. Our wives aren't the ones that aren't measuring up.
"settle" for a lowly foreigner:..myself." What a stupid,pathetic,inconsiderate and unkind comment. * Bro, you should have smacked that idiot in the mouth or started laughing at him!
I had a problem with my girl friend because of the ''eyes of the people'', sadly I didn't address this enough or realize what a problem it was. The people look at her and think she is with me for money. For me the staring is easily ignored and I don't give a shit what ignorant people think. For my girl friend it was not easy and I believe this goes on with other Chinese women who are with foreigners.
At least I had money,, after all being tall, dark and two out of three's not bad, will only get me so far.
Chinese girls will always think of their first live, no matter what.
Chinese guys aren't into experienced girls as much.
I'm like BHGL. My wife had 2 Chinese husbands before who both cheated on her. She gave one a son and he got the son and the house. She pays maintenance. He got the mine; she got the shaft!
Why does she like me? I treat her with respect and as an equal. She cooks for me like she never did for them too!
I don't feel bad about the shortage of women in China as two Chinese men had their chance but I still get the stupid comments about how "foreign men steal our women".
btw I'm 20 years older than her so we also get "look at that young woman with that old foreigner" (laowei/weigouren). They say it out loud so my wife can hear it. What pathetic ignorance!
Hey, hey! don't call me laowei
LAR:
Hi instant,
I appreciate your comments. Isn't it utterly PATHETIC how unkind some STUPID people can be? Sheesh. I've wondered about if I hooked up with a young Chinese gal. I also don't feel sorry for Chinese males at all. * What goes around comes around. :) Good for you!
crimochina:
every time i hear any ignorant comment from a local man i think to myself "thank you" because their ignorance is what drives women away from them. and their response to it is to be more ignorant.
GuilinRaf:
Sad thing is, we get the same comments back home, especially if there is more than a 15 year difference in age between the couples. Men get called cradle robber or worse!
I got that with my last girl friend, I was 42 and she was 25, mostly from other westerners.
LAR:
Screw 'em GR!! Back home, I dated a blond babe that was much older than me. I also dated a lovely brunette gal that was much older than me. I dated yet another gal that was close in age to me..pretty and black. In South Korea, I dated an attractive..much younger Korean gal. Now, I am smitten with a beautiful, MUCH younger Chinese stone-cold BABE who is also interested in me! * I can't believe that this gal isn't married. :0 * Moral of the story: I don't give a hoot what ANYONE thinks..it's MY life!!!! ** My middle brother passed away this week..LIFE IS PRECIOUS..LIVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey Guys, I also have the same problem. im a chinese girl. and i have a german boyfriend since two years ago..before that i have lot of a chinese friends,,..but since being with my german boyfriend, they just like try to get rid of me away, they think im a strange person , got lot of western ideas thinkings , lot of nasty sex, cause in their mind( or chinese mind ) western people are nasty and dirty on sex,, even with dieses what they heard about or saw it somewhere..so they think im kind of dirty or ...seems treat me like a bitch...when i trying to call them or send message on QQ (chinese msn or skype), they never answer me again..if some of them keep in touch with me, but keep distance , also always ask me strange questions. like; why u want looking for a foreigner guy? you think they have big xxxx ?. maybe i shoud tell them im good girl and i just found my boyfreind and we are good with each other
One more thing is people think that chinese girl looking for foreigner for , casue foreigners are rich , i dont agree with this at all.i have a few friends married to foreigner, their husband not rich . but they always living happyly together..i always admire a mixed couple, i think they flight a lot for their love to be together till get marry..thats not really easy..My boyfriend not a rich guy as well. he have enough for living..but he is nice , faithful, thoughtful a lot.. hehe .thats the way i love him so much..i learnt a lot from him..
right now we are planing get marry next summer time..what i can do and hope is try to keep my good friend who understand me , and get family support for me and my bf...
maggiegirly:
Well,If your friends are like what you said,I'd say,They are not your real friends, a real friend will respect your decision,as long as you are happy with it.what's more, you are so happy with your German bf together,that's more important, all they need to do is, be happy for you guys,That's how my friends support me.
otherwise,Maybe it's time to seek new friends.
Just do whatever you like as long as you think it's right,follow your heart,Don't let losers to disturb you. some people just say it for fun, no point to take it seriously.
Wish you and your bf good luck.
P.S I am a Chinese woman who married a western guy.
诸葛亮:
Now you can quickly see: they aren't your friends, they're jealous.
If you're both truly in love, then don't let anyone stop you from getting married. You will regret it if you leave him because of your friends and family.
