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Q: Is Chinese office culture just less sociable?
I've found it really hard to bond with colleagues. When I taught English, I used to hang out with the Chinese staff all the time. I used to make cookies and snacks for everyone and we'd frequently eat together and chat/ hang out.
Since I started working in an office, the staff are really anti-social. When I started I was only introduced to the foreigners in the team, not the Chinese staff. We sometimes eat lunch but it's only around 20 minutes and no-one really talks.
Does anyone else have this kind of culture at work, or is it just me?
They just dont like you. But hey, look at the bright side. If they were all over you all the time you would complain about that as well. Enjoy your peace and quiet.
I would much rather be ignored than the center of chinese attention.
They just dont like you. But hey, look at the bright side. If they were all over you all the time you would complain about that as well. Enjoy your peace and quiet.
I would much rather be ignored than the center of chinese attention.
It's very hard to be social with them in office environment.
surely they will be jealous and they talk less other than official .
I am always facing this .
I think your office must be Foreign owned.
I recently changed from teaching to office work. I find it is quite friendly. Saying that, it is the same company and I have known them all for years. I find that it is similar to British office culture. Work, work, gossip, work.
I've noticed the same thing : 2 jobs in China, where I am the only foreigner. My colleagues talk together, have lunch together, but never invite me. My boss is my only occasional lunch partner, and my main and almost unique interlocutor. I'm carefully avoided : all I get is embarrassed smiles.
One of my reasons to leave China : I am badly craving for "normal" human contact : not being seen as a problem because I'm not Chinese, not having this pervasive fear of face loss swamping relationships, etc. Kind of funny, living in the most populated country in the world, to crave for human contact. I became less spontaneous, more withdrawn. My wife tells me that *I am* the problem, nothing to do with the society. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, but I don't consider the case closed.
mike695ca:
I would tend to agree with your wife in this case. And im not saying that it is part of any sort of negative reflection on you in any way. Sometimes its the silliest things. Perhaps you are older than them and they have some obtuse idea that foreigners of a certain age dont do anything. Perhaps you act too responsible and authoritatively so they put you in a foreign boss group and thus needs to be avoided. I find in many instances Chinese in general are slower to open up so its on you to make the first move. Maybe you never smile? You said yourself that you are more withdrawn. Im not including my friends because i feel that was just random luck that gave me them, but as far as office relationships are concerned, after a brief period you should have fit in by now on a personal level. Do you even want to?? I dunno maybe they are just dicks.
DrMonkey:
@mike You nailed it ^^ I'm older than then, not enough to be their father, but enough to be an older brother. I'm not the kind of people you will see smile all the time. My boss is relying on me a lot, so I get that "boss" aura without even trying to have it. Sometime, I bring my own lunch, but I don't eat with the others because the level of noise is stressing me beyond my comfort : 10 people in a small room, Chinese levels sound volume for the conversations. When I direct a meeting, I keep it as short as possible, to the point. I call cats "cats, dogs "dogs" : if something is wrong or does not work properly, I will say politely, with suggestions, but not beating around the bushes. They know I understand Mandarin, but that I have problems to put sentences together at proper speed... They tend to have the maturity of a teenager back home, so yeah, it can look intimidating.
Nessquick:
Dr. I feel you, that's the exact description - crawling for human contact in country of bilion + ... And have the same conversation with my wife - I am the problem, not the society around ...
I quit work, at home, largely because of the change in the way people socialize today.
In the good old days, we played softball, football and went curling, etc. etc together... had a real fun time, before during and after working hours. Since the "smartphone" and the "digital age", and being able to "connect" 24/7 with pretty much anybody..... the office staff grew apart. ...... even the family grew apart, arguments increase. (meet me in 10 minutes--- no I can't)
So, I came here (China) to go back in time, but it is and it isn't..... backwards as hell in a lot of things, but, they all have that 24/7 communication, that I think causes a lot of confusion and very little forethought..... blah blah blah.... the office world sucks!
Not in my company, we are always talking (shouting) across the office, joking, laughing and go out together after work or on weekends, well I'm the only foreigner in the office so I better socialize with the Chinese staff, most of them have an overseas experience though, one manager lived in California for 20 years, the IT guy just came back from UK for his studies, the "everything girl" (who is hot as hell but I'm taken) went to study in Australia for 8 years, ... and some other staff are from Hong Kong so they are more "international" or "westernized" compared to Mainland Chinese.
Perhaps they don't respect you for teaching English, viewing themselves as "more talented" or that they can teach English, too. Chinese pay attention to a lot of details and have their own criteria for evaluating those details. Also, they may not view you as being "useful" after having evaluated you. Therefore there's no reason to socialize with you.
Either that, or they secretly view you as a threat that undermines their "work" because their own teaching sucks. Most English lessons by Chinese teachers are just monologs by the Chinese teacher, conducted in Chinese after all.
The problem is they socialize only with themself. and I personally find them very annoying. So I always seek place without them. My current job have the almost perfect aspects. I can leave anytime to my work room, where I am only with myself, but I have not managed yet to push them enough to install internet connection there. But I can do anything, pretend I am working on my things and no one can tell me nothing.
Now I am at office, drinking my coffee, and I wish I have a handy hard stick in my hand... It is umbelievable, how their way of socializing is annoying... for breakfast they bring cup noodles and slurping and that annoying sound they do with every bite. Than talking loudly with every second word being " tamada " push me to insert earphones deep inside ears to block any outside voices and enjoy music a bit. With my coffee.
And 400 cigaretes within an hour make my cloth smelly when I go back home.
So, in fact, I really envy you. Enjoy the peace 
I wouldn't say so...granted i've spent 4+ years in the same office (there are a few other expats but i'm by the far the youngest) but it seems like we all kinda interact in normal ways.
Honestly I don't fault a group of people whose english isn't 100% fluent for not being super eager to have someone who speaks no chinese tag along because it changes the whole dynamic of a relaxed casual lunch into catering to the person who doesn't speak chinese.
I totally 100% get that and feel the exact same way when I'm in a group of expats trying to relax and having to try to cater conversationally to somebody (even though it's not their fault at all) isn't going to get like Godfather references or cultural specific stuff.
So for me I try not to impose myself into groups like that. On the other hand if they want to go play basketball I'm always encouraged to go. It also gives me a chance to hang out more with the more senior expats which is great cause i can learn a lot from them.
I face a similar situation in my office. I think it's just part of the Chinese mindset that foreigners will never be accepted as Chinese, and Chinese like to hang around Chinese. Either that or they're too afraid to speak English with me. Granted I can speak Chinese, but they probably can't fathom a foreigner speaking Chinese with them.
Chinese workers are notorious back stabbers, they are lazy and manipulate their way out of doing any work. That does not create an environment to make friends.
My co-workers always ask me why I am happy. They tell me I shouldn't be happy at work and they would rather be sleeping.
I guess a mix of iphones and being completely lazy is why my co-workers don't talk to each other.






















