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Q: Christmas spirit in China. Did I lose it?

The guy upstairs has pissed me off again. After putting up with him tearing off any little signs I put on my door, like Australian flag, my name, Australia Day celebration sign I simply quit putting anything on the door. Peace reigned! Yesterday I bought a Santa head and stuck that on the door thinking "He wouldn't would he?" He did!

I keep a very low profile here in this lovely apartment. I don't play music loudly, I play soft songs on my guitar, I don't have the volume up on my TV or computer when watching movies and I don't cook foul smelling food to pollute the air.

I put up with his never-ending renovations of hammering and drilling, his yelling at his wife and beating her up on occasion, the bumps and thumps above me when he throws her around in the bedroom. Basically I am a good, neighbourly Laowai!

On seeing my Santa ripped from the door I was fuming. I mean do I rip their Chinese New Year signs off their door? I was wracking my brains to work out how to get even. Very un-Christmassy I know. In a moment of madness I remembered I had a bag full of prawn heads in the freezer from a meal about a week ago so I grabbed the bag, walked out onto the stairwell and lobbed the prawn shells at his front door. And there they sit. Just now I snuck upstairs and stuck a sticker over his peephole as well. This is getting out of hand.

Should I retrieve them or let them thaw and smell the crap out of his apartment - assuming he leaves them there. Have I lowered myself to his petty level? Aaaggghhhhhh!!!

Merry Christmas folks!!

5 years 5 days ago in  Culture - Daqing

 
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Comments (8)
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Look, Daqing Ossie, don't suffer rude neighbors.  Here nor anywhere.  If they are whacked, then they are just whacked.

 

I had a neighbor like that.  The neighbor treated the stairwell for the entire building as his private garbage dump.  Why take the garbage downstairs and place it in a bin? No, of course, just open the door and toss it out, whatever it is, and bring rats and vermin.

 

First, I cleaned it up myself.  Repeatedly.  After work.  Then at my expense, I hired a cleaning lady twice a week to come to do it. I left it.  I tried everything.  Even the Building Committee. Nothing worked.

 

Finally, I collected all of his garbage over a period of about 10 days.  I placed it all in black plastic garbage sacks.

 

Then I bought about 25-30 boxes of those 1 RMB crazy glue glues.  I crazy glued every frigging piece of stinking smelling garbage to his front door.  And I mean every piece that could be glued..

 

His place stunk.  But you know what?  After he took the garbage down, or scraped it off over three days, he never, ever did it again.  Never again.

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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He'll be extremely happy to get the shrimp heads and use them for fish bait...or for some Shrimp-head Soup No. 5...

 

I'd splash red paint on their door...

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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I agree with both Belle and Skunkman here, DaD. This kind of behavior demands a zero tolerance, end of the road approach. Maybe banging on his door as soon as you hear any noise coming from up there, with some heavy tool or a brick. Doing so in the middle of the night for no reason. Or paint the flag of Japan on his front door - the flag of Taiwan - the flag of China with a pirate's skull and crossed bones. I got some people very annoyed with the latter once. Replace his apartment number if he has one with '514'.  Another thread suggests saving some 'fece' and applying it generously in front of his door. Bribe the supermarket delivery boy and poison his groceries. Buy 500 kg of sand and concrete and.... man, I like this train of thought!

But you don't want to invite further trouble. Reasonable people would drag the guy downstairs and explain to him that this is your door and if he ever dares touching it again, you'll chop off his fingers. I wish you the best.

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5 years 5 days ago
 
Posts: 1633

Shifu

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Many people will say the best revenge is "living well" however there comes a time when enough is enough! Well done I say...toy with him. That's the Christmas spirit.

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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Here is some of the xmas spirit for you http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjMxNjQ2MTE2.html

 

I can also recommend looking up "Flaming dog poo" if you do feel like venturing down the revenge path. 

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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Governor

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i have some problems with my neighbors too.. loud, selfish, ignorant, idiots.  i've found that threatening and yelling at them doesn't really work.  i have a new approach.  whenever i am out late, or leave early (i'm an early morning person), i ring their house from the intercom downstairs to wake them up.  it's real fun.  every now and then i take a permanent black marker and write a huge "SB" on their door.  this really gets to them.  i make fun of their children when i see them, call them weird names in Chinese.  made one cry the other day.  and i give the fathers real dirty/mean/foreigner looks.  i'm pretty sure they all know i want them to die and they are counting down the days until i show up at their house to help them stop breathing. 

 

i personally like bella's tactic, but i am way, way to lazy and impatient to go her route. 

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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placing a large heavy object in front of his door would work. Like a bag or two of cement. Bring it in dry so that its easy for you to carry. Mix them up and put it back it the bag then wet the outside. put them so he will trip on them and do it before you go to bed so they'll be hard by morning. Make sure you arrange them so the block access (So he has to step over them). I would also pant something on the floor that he would find offensive as suggested above. Japanese or American Flag would do. The stickers of course. But if you want to truely maintain the christmas spirit and share it with your unruly neighbor I would go and buy a christmas wreath. Super glue the f#@ker to the door. Two three four glue sticks so that it will be nearly impossible to remove without damaging his door. Then just wish him a merry christmas every day. Play christmas music loud maybe that trans-siberian orchestra crap. Its loud, it'll get the point across. Redecorate your own door to match his. Its a pleasant smack in the face. I did this at college and pissed off my roommate as a prank. FYI you can get a plastic wreath with lots of bobbles and bright colours on it for about 20 RMB good investment I think. And youll spread holiday cheer

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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I have a somewhat similar neighbor in France, but maybe not as douchy. He's just very noisy (and quite an asshole), and I'm not, and despite all the times I went to talk to him about the noise, and even after calling the cops once, he wouldn't change his ways. We're like the only 2 residents in that building, but he HAD to move in right over my apartment, as well as having the worst musical tastes, loudest alarm clock, and beauf-iest friends possible.

 

So just like any other mature person, I thought "It's on, motherfucker".

 

It turns out that playing video games with the PC plugged in the stereo can be very, very noisy, and my wooden squeaky bed can do wonders when I have "company".

I've been away for 5 months now, I hope he didn't get too comfortable.

 

Anyway, the point is, if he's noisy, be noisy. Revenge is a dish best served without moderation.

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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I think this kind of things can spiral out of control, really... As extraordinary as it sounds, some people really have no clue on how offending they are, and can not understand the idea that *they* are offenders. I would try to shame him publicly. Somehow getting a picture of him. I would make a leaflet with his picture, his name and his address, and a description of his behavior, in Chinese. I would put that in every possible letter box, stick that on his door, stick that where I can stick it.

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5 years 5 days ago
 
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you dont find it wierd that hes personally attacking you?? I can understand the garbage in the hallway and the noise, thats just regular ignorant people stuff, but hes seems like hes trying to piss you off. Is he huge? are you tiny?  I seem to think i have gotten chinese people mostly figured out. But that behavior is completly unheard of.  If it were me, id knock on his door and ask him why he hates you. its possible you have done some ignorant stuff too and didnt realize. Face to face he should be alot more polite. If hes a dick.... then tell him next time he takes your santa head your gonna rip out his eyes and skull fuck him

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5 years 4 days ago
 
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  I would simply go to their door and confront them about it. Not aggressively, in an adult way. It's not a fun answer but chucking shit at his door and all that is only going to justify (in his mind) him being a dick, it'll then go back and forth and may even get ugly. But then i've got a kid now so I don't have the luxury of getting principled and aggressively confrontational anymore. But then, if you're really in a vendetta kind of mood you could always do the potato in the tail-pipe of his car trick. I don't think anyone knows about that one in China, it'd probably take them a day to work out what the problem is.

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5 years 4 days ago
 
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I had a neighbor like that in my old place. He also had a head. "Had" is the key word here.

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5 years 4 days ago
 
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Put a nice wreath of poison ivy or oak on your door and wait for him to take it down again?  Should keep his hands off your next wreath.wink

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5 years 4 days ago
 
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'Revenge is a dish best served cold."

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5 years 4 days ago
 
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What your "neighbor" is doing totally sucks. Just because he's an asshole doesn't mean you have to be. Maybe try the "kill him with kindness" method - knock on his door with some goodies of some kind, wish him a happy Christmas. Have someone write him a letter in Chinese that you don't appreciate him ripping off your door decs, and to let bygones be bygones. If you have a nice neighbor who likes you, have him come to the asshole's door with you, so the asshole then loses face unless he plays nice.

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5 years 3 days ago
 
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My neighbors downstairs recently had a child and in doing so, purchased two crates of hens with the intention of killing one each day for two weeks to help the new mother regain her strength...and obviously, our grievance.

We complained to management after taking in consideration that they'd actually destroyed some of the public landscaping in order to accomodate their chicken sh*t. Seeing that we live in a pseudo-civilized, quite posh garden on the outskirts of Guangzhou, we figured that this kind of complaint would fall on understanding ears. Instead, a sheepish girl my age told my folks, "Y'know, she has a baby. Please understand," to which my mother contested, "I DON'T CARE IF SHE HAS A BABY OR NOT, I WANT TO SLEEP IN PEACE."

Management did NOTHING.

And it's cool, I understand. I understand to the extent that I put Homeland and The Blacklist on full volume and proceed to not care about anyone outside my apartment door, so you can imagine that a few hens died untimely deaths.

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5 years 3 days ago
 
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I feel that VERY, VERY LOUD Christmas carols are called for.

I also like the super-superglued wreath idea. 

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5 years 3 days ago
 
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