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Q: Is this closeness among Chinese family members common?
My GF ( a Chinese) told me her mum was still helping her with her shower at the age of 16....At 16 one's private parts are already 'fully' developed & pubic hair all over the places. A friend of mine also told me a similar story about his Chinese GF.
My GF also told me that one of her college roommates would, at 20, sleep in the same bed as her brother who was about 18 at the time. Reason: to keep each other warm in winter.
Another friend ( Chinese) also described to me how she would, at around the same age ( 20), share a bed with her father while her younger brother ( a teenager, I can't remember the exact age) would sleep in the same bed as his mum during winter. This friend even demonstrated to me how her dad would hold her while sleeping.....to keep each other warm. The description made this look like boyfriend/girlfriend sharing a bed. I hope she was not exaggerating things.
These guys told me all this is not strange in Chinese homes. I find it a little disturbing and hard to believe. I just find such closeness between dad/daughter, mum/son or sister/brother off limits. Is it true this is not uncommon in China? If it is, how do you feel about it? Normal?
Yep. This kind of thing is very common here. To foreigners it just seems wrong. But here, it is just the way of life for a lot of people.
In Japan, it is fairly common for the mother to 'relieve her son's stress' after he reaches puberty so he can focus better on his studies. That makes what happens here seem almost harmless.
mArtiAn:
Nothing wrong with that, my mum used to relieve my stress all the time, I don't see what the problem is.
You do mean, like, give you money for a movie or take you to McDonald's or something, right?
Bona:
Oh, very interesting!!! Would we say incest in Japan is not punishable by law? Just curious.
Bona:
So sorry for the disorganised comment....I have edited it several times but each time it's coming out funny....don't know what's wrong. Whether it's problem with my browser, my PC' settings or something else. I am sure even this comment looks as ugly as my previous comment or even worse. Apologies to all.
Xpat.John:
In Japan, there are no laws against incest other than incestuous marriages are not allowed. A current study revealed that 80% of men report some sort of sexual contact with their mothers. Evidentially, what makes us go ewww makes them go ahhhh.
mArtiAn:
80% of Japanese men report having had sexual contact with their mothers? What is the source of this report, it sounds like utter nonsense?
Just read this to my 'Chinese' wife and she says it's........what's that British word for testicles? Begins with a 'bol' and ends with a 'lox'? Agghh, I can't remember it, but the gist of what she told me is that any suggestion of commonly incestuous or inappropriately tactile relationships between parents and children in China is absolute and utter rhubarb.
I would also add that they are close in other ways that we would find strange such as having a chat in the washroom while one is taking a crap or a leak. I've heard about this one numerous times and seen it on many occasions. There is very little in the way of personal/private space about that from what I've heard.
I am sure this phenomenon is not common in China.Yes,I do know a girl sleeping with her parents sometimes in winter if it is quite cold,but this is quite few not to mention common.Of all the people all around,this girl is the only one i know sleeping with her parents after 16.
