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Q: Conservatism: Genuinely Moral or Secretly Perverted
Why do universities have rules against dating here? It doesn't feel right to me. I don't think they are doing it because of some moral dilemma. China doesn't have any morals, and it’s definitely not conservative. They wouldn’t parade themselves around in all these bikini contests and use every opportunity to use young females as sex objects. It feels more conniving to me. It feels like the elite class (rich males) wants to preserve purity for one reason, so they can have sex with as many virgins as possible. I'm not joking. I think there is something more malevolent going on. I think Freud would have a lot to say about Chinese culture. Think about it. They don't want the students to date in college, but there are a lot of school officials and outside wealthy men that have acquired mistresses. It is almost as if colleges are being used as someone’s personal harem. Am I thinking crazy, or is there something peculiar and awfully sneaky about this huge contrast between the ideology in universities and the rest of China? There always seems to be a university owned and operated hotel near the campus too. Coincidence? Or twisted ploy?
Legit question here.. Does the university forbid all dating between students? Or does it forbid TEACHERS ( ie you) from dating students?
WCG:
I’m not employed by a university, but I work next to one. I was not referring to teachers dating their students. I was referring to the school officials who are responsible for creating the seemingly strict policies. Teachers don’t make enough money. I’m an analyst by trade. So, I tend to look at the moving parts. When you step back and look at the sum of the moving parts (evidence), it appears to provide an environment concurrent with Chinese history and cultural norms. Please allow me to provide an explanation to my rising suspicions. 1.) China has a long history of emperors who had personal harems. 2.) China is rooted in tradition, has the tradition died, or has it just changed faces? 3.) Virginity is highly valued in China and sought after by the vast majority of Chinese men. This includes men who are already married and their mistresses. 4.) The media in China is censored. However, we still see numerous scandals hitting the news that involve rich business men or school officials abusing their authority to exploit the girls in local schools (I will post links later). Again, Chinese media is highly censored, so we can only imagine how many scandals there are that we don’t hear about. 5.) The cultural threshold or emphasis put on young females to expose themselves in organized events is unprecedented in China. For example, the multiple State and company sanctioned/sponsored bikini pageants/contests for flight attendants and other unrelated professions. Heck, my old Chinese boss had huge televisions throughout the office with streaming videos of Victoria Secret models and other lingerie runway events playing throughout the day. We were an interior design firm with cubicles! We weren’t Hooters. WTF? So, the “loose view” towards flaunting college-aged beautiful women exists even by businesses and other government entities that have no relevance. Yet there is this island of purity (universities) that stands in deep contrast to the rest of Chinese society, which gives rise to further suspicion, especially in a country where nothing is what it appears to be. It is the large gorilla in the room, to speak. I would argue that universities with strict dating policies are a breeding ground for perversion and exploitation of female students. To me, it feels like a façade. Have you ever noticed the female students wearing short skirts being picked up after school by someone driving an expensive black Audi? What is that? You can’t say that they’re going home with daddy. The question is, how many men who are responsible for creating the policies the same men driving the black Audis? That’s all.
i really doubt that the university can prevent that the students are dating, e.g. many students have boy/girlfriends.
its absolute legit and good! that teachers are forbidden to date the students. Yes teachers who date their students are pervs and take advantage of their position
Twisted plot, no, that's paranoia. Laws to preserve a pool of mistresses, WTF ! When you can explain things by either incompetence or malevolence, incompetence is the most likely explanation. I would say, if dating between students is prohibited, it's bigotry in action. Moreover, no interdiction is going to stop people dating, it will just make people more discreet about it. As a teacher, dating one of your student is very unprofessional : how you can objectively grade your lover ? If you are into a romance with a student, you guys wait the end of the term to date, there's no rush.
Freud would have to say a lot about many cultures. Love, sexuality and all the neurosis around it is a human thing.
I think most of the time where there is some asinine rule that people hate, it's because someone in charge wants to show who's the boss. It proves your authority to enforce unpopular rules, shows you are too high to care what they think.
It's all about conditioning them to accept and get used to authority interfering with every aspect of their lives.
Sigh. When I worked as a teacher at a college, I kept getting in trouble for sleeping with my female students and giving them all A's for effort. Had to leave the country since more than 70% of my college class was pregnant. Unfortunately, I even knocked a few guys up. I was the prime suspect, for some dumb reason.
I mean, what's wrong with those conservatives who think they're better than me? I haven't done anything wrong... they should get off their high horse. They're secretly perverted! On the other hand, I am a saint.
Universities can't prevent student dating, but does prevent (or try to prevent) "immoral" activities. Dorms are segregated by gender, always. Males can't enter female dorms, and females can't enter male dorms (as far as I know girls can't enter guys' dorms). To put this in perspective, this is more conservative than the policy of Brigham Young University, a Mormon university, in Utah (which at least allowed mixed gender visitors).
There are definitely morals, and it is a conservative society. It's just that the morality is not what you'd expect. There are many rules, and exceptions (status + money = freedom from rules that the lower classes have to obey).
It's also conservative in the traditional gender roles. Women have the role of providing sex (more children), and men have the roles of earning money for the women.
Women are valued for being sexually desirable. Men are valued for being wealthy. It's hard to get more traditional than that. Though, you can add in the homophobia ( because the gays don't make babies, and China's all about the babies) and the intense pressure to get married.
First rule : the sum of your freedoms is strictly equal to the size of your bank account. Which means most people don't have any.
Second rule : every hard truth has its delusional excuse.
Transcription in real world : "We are very conservative and traditional". Sure, sure.
I'm largely in agreement with everything you said.
I don't think restrictions on dating are a lucid, deliberate attempt to preserve the headmaster's and party members' future mistresses, but I am quite sure that is the subconscious reasoning. Of course senior Chinese teachers, etc, would like the young girls' bodies for themselves, and feel jealous if they think about the girls in question having sex with other boys instead of them.
Notions of protecting female "purity" in all societies (in particular China and Islamic states) stem purely from male jealousy. The people who propose these rules would, of course, feel entirely justified in having sex with the girls themselves.
When my girlfriend was in high school, there was a teacher (male of course) whose "duty" it was to go round every night and "make sure" all the young girls were in bed. During the summer, the girls would all be sleeping in their underwear or nothing because it was too hot. The teacher would wait until after bed time, then bang on the door so that the girls would have to get up in just their bed sheet to answer the door. Then he'd go into their dormitory and look at them all to "make sure" everything was in order. Thinking about it makes my skin cold and my blood boil at the same time.
When my wife and I were first dating, she was surprised that I was disappointed at her being a virgin. She assumed that I wanted someone with experience in the sack. Although I very much appreciate her efforts to catch up (having to argue that I *didn't* want to watch porn with her was the weirdest moment), my biggest worry was that virgins feel every aspect of relationships way too intensely. It wasn't sexual experience that she lacked, but life experience. I still encounter times when my wife gets very hurt by the simplest things, but I'm helping her to cope. To answer the question: It's not necessarily about keeping a harem for the rich and powerful (though that is often the result), but about keeping people from thinking rationally. Nothing better to manipulate a person with than overwhelming emotions. Pride. Fear. Facesaving. Mianzi.
