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Q: Cultural expectation of a foreign boyfriend?
My Chinese boyfriend naturally expects to carry my bag for me down the street - he told me it was the norm in China...what's wrong with men here? What negative spiral in the country's evolutionary cycle has led to such degradation?
Guys, do your Chinese girlfriends ask you to carry their bags around??
12 years 38 weeks ago in Relationships - China
If a guy offered to carry my purse, I'd beat him with it.
Chinese guys are sometimes expected to:
- Carry their gf's purse
- Have matching outfit with their gf (sometimes she might ask him that they both wear the exact same piece of clothing - usually sweater)
- etc...
Another thing many of you don't seem to realize is that quarreling is often believed to be a demonstration of love for Chinese couples. If your Chinese gf never 'bitches', it might be construed as her not caring, ie not 'loving' you. And if she 'bitches', your phlegmatic, reasonable, calm reaction will only enrage her further, because the message you'll ACTUALLY be conveying, in her eyes, is: 'I don't care'.
I certainly don't endorse this, but from my experience, that just seems to be the way things function. It's intricately tied to the concept of 'sa jiao', which is another question in here somewhere.
I think it's a cultural difference that 's why they seem gay to us. Chinese men help their women with their bags because they want to show her that she's appreciated. I've asked to do this for my Chinese gfs many times because I don't want my gf carrying anything she doesn't have to. For us it was complementary. Most times I'd have to fight them to help them and vice versa. There wasn't any of this emasculation stuff you guys are talking about
