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Q: Do all Chinese in-laws move in when you have a baby?

The parents of all my Chinese friends with babies have moved in with them to take care of the baby and it seems like the norm here. But what if you don't want your Chinese mother-in-law to move in? That's a major turn-off when dating a Chinese guy.

8 years 27 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 187

Governor

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Coffaholic, there are also many Chinese families with babies that do not have in-laws move in for various reasons: some parents like to enjoy their own life and other parents are busy with their own work or they do not like to live in a strange city where their son/daughter work.

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8 years 27 weeks ago
 
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I think it would depend on how independent the parents allow the sons or daughters to be. (And how competent they think their child's partner [esp. if they're foreigner] is on raising the baby)

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8 years 27 weeks ago
 
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Coffee, it's not a requirement, it's just the culture. Family is important in China, because as grandparents and parents get older it falls to the children to support them.

Now this can be handy, as if you need a baby sitter, there is always one readily available. The down side is do you want your Chinese inlaws raising your kids...

If you have a Chinese boyfriend, and plan to have kids, plan on moving out of China. Problem solved. Besides, would you want you kids educated in the Chinese school system?

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8 years 27 weeks ago
 
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I had no say in the matter, she just came as did the dead beat dad. The mother in law is typical of women of her generation, "life is duty“, so overall it was a good thing for dealing with the day to day tasks of caring for an infant.
As to fearing the mother in law. My father always said "take one good look at your mate to be and two good looks at her mother"....

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8 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1633

Shifu

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Well, the in laws haven't moved in here but my wife has relocated to her mom's home which is just up the street. She is there with her mom, stepdad, uncle and auntie. I go there as often as possible but it's hard cause I see my wife being tended on hand and foot and I see her getting weaker and more spoiled. I know she isn't at 100% now but she surely can get a piece of fruit or recharge her iPhone by herself. I open my mouth and I'm not taken seriously at all. They want me to move in too but I simply can't handle it at all. Two bedroom apartment with 4 people is crowded but 6, not a chance in hell! Each time I go there it's the same thing....nothing happens other than they eat and the women walk around with a damp cloth cleaning anything they may have missed yesterday. It's taking a toll needless to say.

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7 years 31 weeks ago
 
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