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Posts: 7715

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Q: Do Chinese girls play hard to get with foreign guys?

I don't understand Chinese girls.

Which, admittedly, is only slightly less than I understand any other girls:p

Do the girls here try to play hard to get, and expect the guy to chase chase chase? (and, does it matter who the guy is??)

I've read about the male:female ratio makes it a girls world... but the female:foreigner ratio is a LOT lower.. so, if we're 'an upgrade' (as one of my friends put it), why would they play hard to get, when there's so many other fish out there???

12 years 2 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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If that's what they are doing, they aren't very good at it. I haven't had to break down any walls in my quest for the prize during my time here.

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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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It depends on what type of girl you want.  If you want a "foreigner worshiper", they are easy to get.  Go to any expat bar,english school or anywhere in Shanghai and you will find them.  They will not be hard.  However, there is another brand of girl that will be a bit of a challenge.  She will be from a "traditional" upbringing, sometimes from the countryside, but curious of foreigners.  She wants to go with you, but she cannot be percieved as such a girl.  She is not playing hard to get as western women know this game.  She wants to save face with friends and also go with you so she needs you to give her a reason to be with you.  This is your challenge.  If you are patient, persistent and pursuasive (and not in a sleazy sort of way), she will eventually succumb.

There are plenty of girls like this, especially attending universities.  Too shy to approach you, but if they can reconcile their desire for something different with their traditional upbringing....

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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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i have not come across many situations where i have to chase the girl. but what seems like playing hard to get is really bargaining. remember everything here is lie cheat scam and bargain. what i do in these situations is i make it clear what i am looking for and what i am willing to do. if this is not accepted i "walk away" but leave the line of communication open. they usually come back to bargain or accept. 

xinyuren:

What? so sex is the only goal for you? You're missing out on most of the fun. I'm a wolf. I like the chase. It's much more an intellectual turn-on than her just giving herself to me. In fact, I usually don't bother with easy girls.

12 years 2 weeks ago
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crimochina:

to me chasing is a waste of time and childish . i'm an adult i dont have time and money to waste pursuing a maybe. but this is me im impatient. to each his own. i learned a long time ago that relationships are more fulfilling when people are forthcoming, honest and direct.

12 years 2 weeks ago
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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1008

Shifu

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xinyuren, an intellectual turn on, give me a break, so your not a wolf, you're pure dog. Anyone else try to have an intellectual conversation with  80% of the Chinese Women

Before my wife

There answers were as follows:
If you have a house
If you have a car
If you have money
If you can get me out of China
I can pay you for a green card

xinyuren:

Did i say conversation? read again. I said it's a turn on intellectually to chase a girl that's not hard up for foreigners. What has that have to do with your comment? And while I have seen my fare share of girls like you describe, I have also successfully dated women with other interesting motives and character. The turn-on is learning what makes a girl tick and then using that to gain their affection.

12 years 2 weeks ago
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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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I am going to wager a guess as to the why they play hard to get. 

And this is a common... *A* common... reason. They want to know if you're just looking for a lil spank and tickle or if you may be a potential... boyfriend/husband/way out of China whatever.

The easy ones, on the other hand, might be looking for something more than a lil boom boom, but figure if they show ya the goods up front, you'll move in for the serious quicker. 

If you are looking for something serious, then the ones that play hard to get may be a little more worth your time, no matter what their intentions are. 

As Isaid... A common.. one of a few reasons. 

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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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xinyueren, I didn't mean it as an offensive jesture,, I was young once. I'm just stating what they eventually want. Go get them, just be sure your protected. The HPV virus is the largest STD in China with a whopping 96% of all sexually active Chinese have according to China's version of the CDC.

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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Ya, but you misunderstood my comments to crimo.  I'm not young anymore and I much prefer romance to cheap sex.  Romance has always been a cat and mouse game and there is nothing more interesting to a cat than a good mouse chase.  Or was I a wolf?  I'm confusedblush

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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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just because sex happens with out the intention of marriage does not mean it's cheap or without passion

xinyuren:

I never said anything about intent to marry.  where did that come from?  Cheap sex is easy sex.  Like skipping the five course meal and going straight to the dessert.  Like getting the exam answers off the internet.   Like getting the reward when someone else has done the work.  Like....  well, like you said, to each his own.

12 years 2 weeks ago
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GuilinRaf:

But it is never cheap!!!!sad

12 years 2 weeks ago
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crimochina:

i've had short term flings (easy sex) and it could still be passionate with the right woman. there is something to be said when both parties know that i will be a temp thing.

12 years 2 weeks ago
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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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The first Chinese girl I ever was with here I met at a pub. We went on a date the next day for a walk around Dawanglu. She wanted to show me her office. It was around 9 at night, so no one was there. As soon as we got into her office she jumped me. 

No, not hard to get at all. 

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12 years 2 weeks ago
 
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