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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: do chinese people understand chinese culture and chinese people?
I came out of a mall and saw a granny struggling to get her stroller on to the curb. A car was parked blocking the ramp. Shewas looking around for one of the many chinese people who were hanging around and walking past to help. But in the minute it took for me to walk down the steps to the curb and simply lift the front of the stroller to help her on to the curb not one person even looked at her.
She was extremely thankful and kept looking back at me saying thank you.
I had a thought, do chinese people realize what their society is?
Many would do nice things for face and to make themselves look proper in front of foreigners. But other than that, nothing.
They're all afraid of being sued, sadly. The whole country has an unhealthy obsession with money.
If, I see someone in need, I think twice about the multiple ways they might turn it on me before helping. I've looked around for security cameras that would capture anything sly. Sometimes I make sure I could run away and get lost on a side street if necessary. Then I might help. It's sad, but practicing a little more prudence is safe here.
Sad isn't it? We come from helpful societies where helping the old, incapacitated, sick etc is part of life and living. Coming here, we have to be careful helping those in need for fear of being persecuted. How crazy is that? This country has developed into a me, my, mine, I cesspit. Even when they are overseas, they won't even help a fellow countryman in need. Sometimes, I look in awe at their 5,000 year history but in retrospect I am disgusted that the result is an uncaring, selfish and arrogant people.
China and Chinese lack one big thing and that is "TRUST"
1)They don't trust each other
2)Other countries don't trust Chinese
3)China don't trust their own companies(e.g. milk,food,car,education,employer).Given a choice, everybody will go for a foreign entity
4)This is the reason China can't set up brands(brand=trust).
5)There is no law which can punish trust breakers
Lack of trust gave birth to self-centered/selfish society where everybody is on their own.
They are ok with this way of life although it is a bit odd to us.
I personally think it may sometimes be dangerous to not follow..."do as Romans when when Rome" and stretch your helping hands.But for us,it is difficult to behave like Chinese all the time...even if there is possibility of trouble.You decide whether you want
to listen to your conscience or to your brain.
the other day this woman on the bus was holding a year or so old baby that was vomiting. She was covering her baby's mouth to stop vomit from going all over the bus and to go in the puddle o vomit on the floor in front of here. I of course offered her a tissue to help her clean her hand and baby. I felt if I did not help her, no one else was going to and she was going to have to ride the bus covered in vomit. You just don't see simple kindness. It is a real shame.
I have adopted this philosophy:
I am not going to try and change China, but I will not allow China to change me!
I was raised by parents that taught me to help others when I can. I am a big believer in Karma and it is how I choose to live. I will continue to help people when I see they need help. If I am scammed, we will go to court. This makes my Chinese gf very nervous. But simple acts of kindness, a lady struggling with her bags at the train station, old lady who was trying to put her chain back on her bike. Takes less than 1 minute and in five years, thankfully I received nothing but gratitude from the people I have helped.
Hotwater:
Spot on mate! I was brought up to give my seat to old women, etc. to hold doors open for the following person, etc. my wife thinks I'm too polite! I'm not going to stop doing what I feel is right behaviour.
What i do find with locals is that every time I do something out of ingrained politeness I get a smile & a thank you.
Trust was mentioned above. Personally I think Chinese people lost trust in others during the cultural revolution when friends & family informed on each other during that 10 years of extreme madness. Unfortunately they've never recovered it.
It is not a trust issue. Getting up so a preg can sit risks absolutely nothing.
China spews out so much hate towards the rest of the world but people from other countries treat them with such kindness. Do they notice?
Normal people allow the elderly to get on the bus first. In china they behave like rabid animals. Do they notice the difference in behavior?
I also would do the following without thinking:
let old people and families with small children on public transport on first
hold open doors
give my seat to people who clearly needed it
stand back to let people out of an elevator or subway train first before getting on
only for me to be pushed past by healthy younger people
When i am home i have to remind myself that no-one there behaves like many people in China, so i can be confident basic good manners will be seen everywhere and people will help other people
mark_gv:
It is not only about thing like giving your sit to other.It is about cultivating
a sense of compassion in society.It is about providing 'real education' which teaches you about your duty and obligation to society.If things are wrong at root,
fruits will be no different.Behavior is a reflection of one's believes and mindset.
This can only be changed with education which teaches beyonds "job related skills". I don't think it is going to change anytime soon.Society always need role models,examples to follow.You already know who are those role models in China !
sorrel:
i agree, it is not only about actions, but they usually speak louder than works
I have surprised local friends by showing what i would consider common empathy, such as taking time to talk to people about their problems.
The most obvious thing is showing how to treat the other person who is not family or connections, and how to treat the environment around us.
Given the amount of influence family have on people, any real change will take years.
All the individual can do is continue to behave in a compassionate and polite manner and maybe someone will see and copy.
I agree, it is not about trust. Look at how they treat their country (littering, pissing , shitting and just being disgusting everywhere) compared to how foreigners are. And for some reason, they do not realize the difference.
tom.:
Evil will never say well.I found that you are a Bitch! Look at what you've said ,about all of china is so bad!why are you still in china
As for the helping granny or ppl on the street I think because there are a lot of scams over the year ppl are afraid to making contact with stranger. For example when you extend your hand to help the old lady she suddenly collapse and yell "this fucking laowai is trying to rob/kidnap me", ppl will gather, police come, yada yada and now you are in trouble and suddenly you have to pay for her hospital fee or some shit.
However, I do think that something is seriously fucked up in here. I think current chinese culture is very different from when its used to be. For example, I'm a chinese indonesian, i won't bore you with details or history but the chinese value and the chinese culture that my family taught and told me is very different from what i found here.
I was an assistant prof in a top univ in China, because the professor have to go somewhere he ask me to supervise exams for him. Suddenly in the class 1 female student went into seizure (I see foam from her mouth and her eyes went white, something red was in the foam). So I lie her down put her in a safe position and rushed below to the office of my department.
When I got there, there were 3 ppl on the office, when I told them what is happening and ask them for help to call the hospital/taxi and stuff there are no response. I thought they don't understand what I said because i was in panick and my chinese sucked.
So I speak slowly and use body language to tell them whats happening, and one of them interrupt me and said "you don't have to repeat it we totally understand what you are trying to say, a student fainted in the classroom", then i was like "then why the fuck all of you are just sitting there and not even moving", "because we can't do anything, we can't help her", and i spent some time shouting to them what the hell is wrong with them and why won't they even help me with a phone call to the hospital I realized they just don't give a shit. So I stormed out of the room and do everything by myself.
coineineagh:
government workers are the worst of the lot. pampered children relegated into jobs through bribes. they think of money and face only, so your comment didnt register in their brains.
There is no Chinese culture and no Chinese people in mainland China.
All that is left in mainland China, is a generic population of disposable consuming units.
Individuals share the bare minimum required to be able to live together: a language, a fantasy that's called history, and a racialist view of the world. That's solid enough so it doesn't need to be consolidated by stuff like common goals, ideals or other annoying concepts. Through education, they have been carefully shaped never to stand out or make waves in anything by people who have the longevity of their own reign in mind: they are supposed to be nervous, submissive, short-minded, desensitized. A symbiosis of both capitalist and communist dreams.
Nothing is shocking in this society. Everything and everyone is expendable. Complaining is a waste of time and mind you could be spending doing better things, like monetizing.
DrMonkey:
I still have this stuck in my mind :
*long-winded argument with the wife on interventionism and changing things*
"If the neighbour beats his wife, this is *not* your business."
"But don't you see it's a free ticket to abuse from the powers-to-be ? A way to isolate individuals and prevent people to defend themselves from abuse ? To break solidarity ?"
"Gaaaaah ! See the kind of mess this attitude creates ! Lots of violence ! A mess !"
*facepalm, go pout on the sofa*
coineineagh:
this is an monopolized authoritarian dictatorship's wet dream. communism has always been a facade to placate the masses, here.
RiriRiri:
Capitalism is the same wet dream. Just designed by people with brains is all.
Thanks to the judge from Nanjing who had killed the last stream of good human nature in chinese.