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Q: Do guanxi and respect for elders hamper friendships?
Mind you, this is strictly for Chinese-Chinese friendships. We foreigners have a whole host of other problems to deal with in cross cultural friendships.
What I mean here is that seem to know a lot of Chinese who, when asked if they have friends, always answer: 'yea, loads!'. But as I've gotten to know them better, they don't mean very good friends, more like people who can help them, and who they might have an occasional lunch with. Not someone they truly care about. In another situation, I know someone in a Masters program at university, head of the local magazine, who gets a lot of attention and presents from 'friends', who really are only interested in movin' on up.
I'm getting a little long-winded, and perhaps my vision is skewed, being a foreigner, but it just seems to me that guanxi blurs the line between utilitarian friendships and real friendships for many people here.
Guan xi may have some dealings with the matter. But I think a big underlying factor is the level of social maturity. As small children (many being an only child), many are only seen playing with their grandparents. Then school takes the important role that there is no hanging out after school or dating. Then it's either university (where clicks are first created... the old bond of classmates) or working long hours (many living at the factories). Then it's a rush to get married so you can have a kid and repeat the whole cycle. So I think many have had the chance to slow down and experience what it is like to make a true friend.
I have found that the word 'friends' is often interchangable with 'contacts'. And 'family' is interchangable with 'close friends I really care about'. But, like everything in the world, this is given to change at any particular moment.
