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Posts: 2536

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Q: Do the vast majority of city girls here equate money with love?

Sure there are girls that want to sleep with you just because you are a foreigner...but really...as far as long term relationships are concerned...does money play a factor?

Regular relationship quibbles aside I find most women here get weak in the knees more with money (buying them something) as opposed to straight up attraction or lust (although this does happen from time to time).

The bigger the money spent the bigger the arousal and attraction.....am I wrong?

I think the reasons for this are complicated and many but this has been my general observation.

PS...big difference between country girls and Shanghai Beijing or Shenzhen girls.

11 years 4 days ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 4397

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  This again? Really? Well ok then - people equate money with survival: the less you have the more important it is. The less you need to worry about it, the more you are able to pat yourself on the back for being able to 'marry for love'. But those who do, soon find that when money flies out the door, love flies out the window. The obvious argument of course is that many of those who chase a rich husband are financially secure themselves anyway, but then that is ignoring the importance placed on status, which in itself becomes a survival asset to many in the commercially competitive world we live in. Are Chinese city girls more subject to this competitive approach to finding a mate? In my experience, no more than anywhere else, it's just that the stage is different. To get an angle on this, take a look at the different walks of life back in the western world. The working classes are those most keen to flash a bit of bling. The wealthier people are, the more likely they are to fashion themselves in ripped jeans, like they actually want for money.

becca3:

surprisecan't agree more

10 years 50 weeks ago
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11 years 4 days ago
 
Posts: 456

Shifu

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You must be living in a bubble. All women think that money is sexy. They all love money. Next time you go to the supermarket look around for the most beautiful girl and follow her out of the store. 95% of the time she will get into an expensive car not a junker. Men are also very shallow they think that the most beautifull girls are the smartest? Franck3

crimochina:

you must never have dated much

11 years 4 days ago
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11 years 4 days ago
 
Posts: 82

Governor

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Since I am a guy I cannot actually say what a girl is thinking, does anyone other than the girl really know? However, I will quote what a girl told me in Changsha recently "In China love is money". These kinds of interactions with the locals give me great hope for the future.

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11 years 4 days ago
 
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Shifu

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Yes!! This topic has been covered a number of times on this website. To many Chinese women..no money no honey.

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11 years 4 days ago
 
Posts: 7

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well ...i don't think it's a problem only in china...right? money is always attractive ...it probably isn't true that you need to be vastly rich to get a good girl, but... you can't expect to get a good girl while you're a loser in your career....It's common sense, isn't it?

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10 years 50 weeks ago
 
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it's not a problem only in china.,..dude... ...no one hate money....

 

but if a girl only love your money......i do not think the relationship can last a long time.

 

agree with that"  can't expert to get a good girl while your are a loser in your career'.

 

in that case,,,, i am a Chinese girl, my honey is a German guy,, he is not so rich,but a good job,and he works hard,,sometimes i will treat him a dinner  ,or give him some gifts.last weekend, i cooked for him....a nice Chinese dinner..

so till now ,everything is good in this relationship.

 

 

Hulk:

Oh, wow. You cooked for him. Last weekend. What a lucky guy, huh?

10 years 50 weeks ago
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thedude:

My GF does not love my money more than me...but nothing gets her weak in the knees more than an Ipad 4 or a 1500rmb dress.

BTW we live together and she cooks for me almost everyday.wink

10 years 50 weeks ago
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Hulk:

My wife barely cooks now that's she's pregnant. Some people encouraged her to sit around. Not that I blame her... but now that we're in a small city, it's really cheap to eat out every day. In Changsha, it cost like 120 RMB per day to eat...

10 years 50 weeks ago
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10 years 50 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3292

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Yes, and I think if you pay for an hour, you should get a full hour, not 25 minutes.

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10 years 50 weeks ago
 
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to the dude:

then i think you got a good girl.~

for me, the iPAD4 or 1500rmb still will not gets my weak  in the knees.not interested. i do not even use iphone.

my bf did not live with me , so only cook for him on weekends.

 

to hulk:

congratulations!  for new baby~yep,she is pregnant ,she needs more rest./

 

 

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10 years 50 weeks ago
 
Posts: 53

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Ok, I don't know about other girls, how they want to live their life. As for me, I'm from countryside originally, I spent 3 years in a village with my grandma and uncle. Other than that, I spent most of my time in the city center, but that doesn't mean I had a lot of money. I've been living alone since I was 15, mostly in school dorms until I graduated from university around 2 years. I've struggled with money, but I've never, ever asked anyone to borrow me any money, not even from my family or my bf at that time. There's no reason why girls should rely on guys financially, either way it's just not fair. Everything I have today, I pay for it. I could go back to my hometown and find a guy who has good amount of money to marry me, but what's the point? I can make my own money even it's not a lot, but I have enough and more will come as long as I work for it, not chick or lie for it.

 

I don't expect a guy to have a lot of money, but I do expect him to have a brain, that's more important than anything. A guy who is smart, funny, responsible, independent, down to earth and honest. A guy like that is the true treasure. As for those airheads who have no idea what they want in life, even he's loaded, I'll pass such guys.

 

My point is, a girl who knows what's the true valuable things in life won't put a price on any relationship. Sure many people say, it's all about money here in China, well tell me one county whose people that don't like money at all...I would wonder how they live on daily basis without any money or money-like stuff. If you keep meeting those material girls, then maybe it's time for you to think about what could be the possible reason in you that attract such girls. Because the way you present yourself to others, is the way that attracts people who may share the same qualities like you.

 

Hope it helps~:)

 

boomsticks:

Good answer

10 years 49 weeks ago
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MissA:

Middle paragraph - you just gave a perfect description of my partner laugh

 

I hope you find a guy just as good.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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ElenaDob:

You remind me of myself 10 years ago. Thumbs up.! A woman who has respect for herself will never expect  a guy to pay her bills.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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Mr_spoon:

I think I love you.

10 years 47 weeks ago
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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 6

Governor

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Why do you think they come to the city? Fresh organic vegetables? Clean air? They are not stupid. They follow the lead of the government: Let industry filthy the air and water because they make money for the country. Why is China near the top in the world suddenly? Because they marry for love? China is getting rich and with that comes  everything. Chinese girls are not much different from girls the word over except they are a little prettier and know how to focus their efforts to achieve what western girls want. The problem is we come here hoping it will be different only to find out people are more similar than different. By the way, which foreigners did not come here for economic reasons? Wake up. Grow up. Drop the idealism. Get smart. You are in a country of 1.4 billion people. Find someone who shares your ideas and values and you just might find happiness.

MissA:

Plenty of us did not come here for economic reasons, not all of us are even men. And don't bleeding well presume to know what all western girls want - we're no more all alike than all Chinese girls are alike.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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LAR:

"Why is...........suddenly?" Ha ha Ha ha!!!!!!!!!! That's hilarious!!!!!!!! :) Au contraire!!

10 years 49 weeks ago
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LAR:

Well said MissA.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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Traveler:

I am just sorry I can't give you more than one thumbs down. Have a nice day smiley ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. Shift+A improves the quality of all images on this page.

10 years 49 weeks ago
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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1

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A survey on Chinese people’s attitude towards dating and marriage shed interesting light on why the number of leftover men and women keeps growing and what frustrates their efforts of finding the right match.

The survey, carried out by the China’s first real-name online matchmaking service baihe.com, received over 50,000 valid responses from all over China. Among them, about 70 percent are unmarried and over half were born in the 1980s. The post-1980s generation faces massive pressure of becoming one of the leftovers, a term deemed by the western media as derogatory to educated women who remain single over the age of 27.

1. The top three reasons for being a single are: a negative attitude; having been emotionally hurt; and ignorance about how to get along with a partner.

Women are more prone to get tangled and frustrated in a relationship while one third of men stay single because they can’t understand women.

2. Thirty is the age when single men would lower their requirements a bit in the hope of getting married soon while nearly 40 percent of women would stick to their requirements no matter how old they get.

3. Michael Jackson is screened out. People working in the showbiz and entertainment industry are the least popular. Besides, men are not fond of flight attendants and tour guides while women dislike farmers and freelancers.

To sum up, men are supposed to have steady income and women should better have a less transient job. Stability matters the most. As many as 77 percent of women require that their boyfriend’s salary should be double their own income. .

4. Gamophobia. Ninety percent of the singles believe it is difficult to find someone to get married and women find it even harder than men.

 

http://www.sino-us.com/207/6-Seven-truths-about-marriage.html

 

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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 223

Governor

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Women want and get rich men anywhere in the world.

 

The problem that sets China apart from say western countries though is society in general (mainly family members) demand money as well.  

 

In most western countries if you love someone both families will agree on the marriage regardless of finincal situations, they just accept that you two love eachother.

 

In China however I have seen too many cases of "true love"  get destroyed simply because one family or the other didn't think someone had enough money or a nice house or simply because they wernt born from the same city.

 

What I'm about to say offends a lot of people but most Chinese people who are willing to have an open and honest discussion with me tend to agree..... Few Chinese people know about true love, they only know about business and financial support. Too many relationships in China aren't based on actual love but more of a financial obligation. 

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10 years 49 weeks ago
 
Posts: 264

Governor

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why don't you do a research and i'm looking forward to see the result. Wink

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10 years 48 weeks ago
 
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