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Q: Do you believe that basic psychological problem solving methods are effective here?
I have studied human behaviour, admittedly not as extensively as some of the others on this site but my point remains solid. I have tried to apply some principles to certain situations here when I meet a situation that may warrant it.......but it seems that I get the opposite response. Reasoning here has no place in a dispute. Mirroring behaviours doesn't seem to be effective at all. Listening to get as much information as possible just leads to them stating their expertise and not wanting to listen to your thoughts at all. If I give them warmth in an effort to kill them with kindness, they will take that as a victory as if I am weak and then attempt to use it to their advantage as opposed to understanding the situation.
Your thoughts?
Yep. Yep. Yep. And.... yep. Playing mind games back is the only thing that seems to work even a little bit, and that's exhausting after a while!
While many Chinese will not react positively to logic or reasoning while in an argument, and to me it is due to their narrow minded experience in life, I honestly have not tried psychology while arguing a point, because in a way I feel it will not work either.
I will use my GF as an illustrative example. She is 41 years of age, a college graduate in English, has worked for over 15 years now. She calls herself a Christian, yet she is a practical Buddhist in every sense of the word. For her, the sun, the moon, the local river, a rainbow are minor Gods and when she sees one, she does pray to them. Every month, under a full moon, she will sleep on the balcony so she gets "power" from the moon. I have asked her any positive results from her prayers or adoration, and she can not point out even one wish granted. But to her, they are "Gods" and that's it, no space for conversation. How can I overcome that with psycology ?
interesting post,, hope it gets more replies,,I'm still trying to peel off the layers and figure out her out.
I had a friend once pull a very easy fast one when the police showed up to break up a house party. She showed the police how quiet we were being then cussed out the Bao An (who only called the cops as a power trip from a different incident) and said "These police have much more important things to do than this, why are you wasting their valubale time?"
The cops then said "yeah!" And told the Bao An not to call again.
The police would have completely been within their rights to shut us down too.
I use their own "face" and "in my culture" card with a fair degree of success. I only do this if something is important for me.
Regular mind games, I only end up with a headache...
TedDBayer:
explain this to me,, I have only learned that the TV will put her in a trance. I have to know how to reprogram her.
GuilinRaf:
Reprogramming? Sorry, cant be done unless you are proficient in the Guilin local language...
GuilinRaf:
For example, when some of my friends (girls) just walk away because they do not want to hear me. I tell them that when they do that, in my culture not only is it incredibly rude, but it makes me lose face. Usually it works.
