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Q: Do you ever get tired of meeting new people?
This sounds really unfriendly, but what I mean is, I meet really good foreign friends here, but they always leave eventually after 1 or 2 years. I'm going to be one of those people who leaves soon, but in the meanwhile, I find myself unwilling to go through the whole process of meeting new people now. I don't go to bars any more because I'm turning into a grumpy old person and I'm just tired of the cyclical nature of life here.
Do any of you feel the same way?
DrMonkey:
More seriously : a lot of other expat in China I meet are new, and/or on the short term and in a bubble. I want to talk about things that might make them uncomfortable, or they might not be able to discuss it constructively. Alternatively, it would be same old usual rants, I rant enough by myself, no need for help. With Chinese, it's the same issue x1000 : different social norms, so many taboos and educational gaps are on the way, I feel tired before even getting started.
The little free time I have, I want to spend it with my wife or doing other things I enjoy like running, playing ukulele, fumbling around on my computer.
DrMonkey:
More seriously : a lot of other expat in China I meet are new, and/or on the short term and in a bubble. I want to talk about things that might make them uncomfortable, or they might not be able to discuss it constructively. Alternatively, it would be same old usual rants, I rant enough by myself, no need for help. With Chinese, it's the same issue x1000 : different social norms, so many taboos and educational gaps are on the way, I feel tired before even getting started.
The little free time I have, I want to spend it with my wife or doing other things I enjoy like running, playing ukulele, fumbling around on my computer.
I keep in touch on Facebook. My friends from before facebook are lost in the ether now. But other people I met maybe once or twice 10 years ago are still in my circle of friends. As a result, if I ever win loads of money and can have unlimited travel, I have loads of people to go visit in loads of different countries.
I get extremely tired of Chinese people that come up to me (or uninvitedly turn up on social media) telling me that they want to make friends with me). I understand the cultural difference, invasion of personal privacy etc., but FFS it's annoying. I choose who I want as friends. I don't need people telling me.
humbug:
Haha
Yesterday two girls came up to me and said 'Hi, where are you from?' and I just said 'Bye Bye' and wandered off.
None of my close Chinese friendships started out this way- when will people learn that this isn't a good way to make friends?
I seldom get tired of the Chinese people wanting to become my friend. I seldom have problems with them being bold and brash. It is who they are. Wonderful!!!!!.
Foreigners...eh....not so much. You sit there drinking your drink and I will sit here drinking mine. No need to make conversation. I have heard all the negativity I need from foreigners. I do not need any more in my life thank you.
I like making friends. I don't like making the Chinese version of "friends". Actual friends, people who you trust, share common interests, values, and can count on... I like them. I have a few friends I met in China who I can actually consider close friends.
What I dislike is the superficial "friendship" from Chinese who ask to be my "friend" during the first meeting (which can be no more than exchanging a few words at a cafe). I don't know what the reason is, but "friend" is a word being thrown around way too casually. Maybe it's a lack of understanding of the word. Maybe they just want to have a waiguoren to show off to their Chinese buddies, like some exotic pet. Maybe it's the hope for free English lessons (and the general guanxi thing, where having someoen from waiguo can help out). Whatever the reason (probably a combination), so many Chinese say they want to be friends, even though we have nothing in common, and no connection.
That is what I'm annoyed with.
DrMonkey:
I think it's more candor than malice : the wish to have a very special friendship ("I have a foreign friend, it's cool !"). I affirm what i want, it will become true, because doubting bring failures, and it makes me feel bad. So I say we are friend even if we are not, we put all the appearances of friendship, and with time it will become real. Worst case, we have the appearances, the only thing that others will see. The face will be saved, no failures to face.
Yes, I am to be honest. Unless they are intelligent and/or have something meaningful to say that makes people think or offer a new perspective on life.
Unfortunately, most people do not. They usually come to China, get drunk, get laid... screw around, travel a bit and then get tired of their vacation.
I was like that but it wears off after a year or so, and then you are more interested in actually attaining a goal or just kind of keeping mostly to yourself. 99% of the CHINESE people you are meet have VERY little to offer in this area. Even if you speak Chinese, you don't miss out much in that area.
Not to be rude, but just because someone is a foreigner doesn't make them my friend. And just because I am a foreigner doesn't mean I want to make friends with every Chinese person I see. Sure, we could pass tips & hints but not going to be best buddies unless there are common denominators.
I think that it depends on what stage you are in your life. I've been in and out of China for years, and I sometimes find it hard to relate to newbies- they seem kind of naiive. I know it's unfair, because I was just the same when I first arrived, and I'm willing to help them out, just don't want to hang out with them extensively... 
