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Q: Do you ever pretend you don't speak English to avoid bullshit?
I actually do. It works well.
I've never had any luck with that. Usually goes something like this:
Passer-by: FOREIGNER PRACTICE ENGLISH
Me: 我不会说英语.
Passer-by: REALLY?! WHAT LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK???
Me: 听不懂.
Passer-by: YOU LIKE LADY GAGA??
Me: (softly weeps in as German a way possible)
Passer-by: WHY YOU AMERICA COUNTRY HARM CHINA??!! I HATE-A OBAMA!!
Most of the "practice English" types just want to hear their own voices anyway.
I actually put on as heavy of a southern redneck accent as I can and it's confusing enough to do the trick.
German is my typical "I don't speak English" language, but I have also used Spanish & French when the mood hits me.
It is useful for the 2 girl begging scam.
Scam Girls: Uncle, we lost...
Me: Vas?
Scam Girls: We from <insert random provice, Sichuan is a favorite>, we no money.
Me: Spreken ze Duetch?
Scam Girls: <confused looks, but otherwise undaunted> We hungry, please give money.
Me: Ich spreche kein English.
Unfortunately, it doesn't really stop them. Normally this scam invloves 2 college age girls that target expats. I have had the exact same scam in 4 different cities. One night 2 different teams hit me within a 10 minute walk.
At the silk market I always pull the French ruse or just say "no English" in a russian accent (As if they could tell)
Localla:
Why do you go to silk market? for what? cheap clothes? cheap girls? where you go got what you got. You deserve it....
DaBen:
Yeah that's right.... you deserve to go to the silk market and get good deals on cheap clothes.
nevermind:
Well, my father, I go to the silk market because it has a huge selection, and if you know how to bargain it actually is cheaper.
All the time. Usually some n00b tourists come up and ask me where's the best place to eat in the area and I speak with a fake accent and pretend like I don't understand.
Whenever I get the sarcastic "Heeeelllllllllllloooooooo" I now say back "salut...comma cava? Ou est la salle de baine?"
They just turn and walk away....works everytime.
I used to do it too.....but I would just say "No time, sorry".
Now, I am lucky not to have this kind of people around me.
First I ignore them and if they keep going, i.e. people trying to sell things, I speak in French. I imagine telling them in Chinese that I don't speak English might push them to speak to me in Chinese, therefore ruining the whole plan !
