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Q: Do you feel disconnected from your relatives back home?
I have just realized recently how disconnected I am from my relatives back home. Whether I like it or not I have changed, living in China changed me, it changed my behavior, my habits, my views and my lifestyle.
Back home things seem to have remained the same, people haven't changed a bit, but I have changed so much in good or bad ways. They don't seem to understand my views on things, my new habits or what I went through as positive experiences or struggles.
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For some of us, they're the reason we go to places like China in the first place.
Yes feel very not in the picture about home.None of it good China has made me cold,uncaring i believe,sad but true for me.
Eorthisio:
Exactly how I feel. I see heading home for Christmas / New Year as a waste of time, before I would have done everything I can to be with my relatives at that time of the year. Also I think people back home waste so much money, I can live for a month on what they spend in a day.
Not at all. The fact is that we are the ones that moved away so I feel it is our responsibility to work harder to keep these relationships.
I probably speak to my parents more than when I lived there. My baby brother a bit less, but hes 24. Hes doing his thing.
I make surr to fly home. If im not going to go home i use that ticket money for my family to come here. For Canadians that ticket can be expensive and i want to see them and it helps them to understand me and my views better having them here. And it works. My family still "gets me".
They all use wechat now. This helps. If my nieces do artwork at school they can send pics. Mom can drive and talk. My brother gets drunk and tells me about women or shit.
Even my Bosses at HQ use it to get ahold of me.
Its much more convenient than uploading a picture to an email. Those minutes matter. Its the difference between you guys sending a photo as its happening. Or sending it later and then forgetting. Because Wechat is so simple the communication is much better and more enriching.
You should try it. Most dont because they say their parents are too old for technology. But if they can get on Skype they can use this. Its idiot proof it was created for Chinese.
My parents and siblings, we are tight-knit as ever. We are used to be at long distance, my parents were expat when I was kid too, my siblings are also expats elsewhere... We talk to each other on a weekly basis.
With my uncles/aunties/cousins, ok, I'm not talking much with most them, simply because they don't use Internet much. I know what's going on from my parents. However, when I said I would come back home, some of them immediately offered help : buying a 2nd hand car, renting a place, etc. I also have a web of friends, that I see once in a many years, yet, the old friendship is still there and solid.
My parents are fundamentalist Christians. They locked me away in a shitty high school that shouldn't even be allowed to exist, except that my country pretty much allows religious maniacs do whatever they want (the USA umbrella of Separation of Church and State is huge). They didn't give a crap about the psychological effects this place had on me (I had anorexia, nervous breakdowns, exc), and they didn't give a crap about the way that the unlicensed teachers there were denying me a basic high school education (I learned Latin and the Bible, nothing else). I am a naturally curious, driven person who managed to get into a good university in spite of the Bible thumpers, but being denied a high school education has always stunted my life (something my parents will never own up to)..You can't just walk into one of the top public schools in your country after having a high school education for monkeys and expect everything to be peachy.
All of that, I might have forgiven them for--if they hadn't gone on to pull the SON out of Jesus School in under one year. So, my family and I were never close. If anything, we are closer when I am here, because they can't tick me off as easily from halfway across the world.
For some of us, they're the reason we go to places like China in the first place.
