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Posts: 9

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Q: Do you find Chinese girls to be so opinionated it's hard to talk?

Maybe I've been unlucky with who I meet here, but most of the girls are so opinionated (or perhaps selfish and self-centered?) that it's very hard to have an honest discussion. I'll be in the middle of expressing myself, and often get cut off with a "no, this is how it is..."

 

I'm not one for meek, obedient girls, but damn...it's sometimes rather obvious these girls were the "jewels of their family". Me me me...

11 years 39 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 1693

Emperor

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Yep. My female Chinese students are sooooo opinionated, I can't get them to shut up! It's like participating in talk radio back in the States! Objective, prescriptive, subjective opinions that flow from a solid and informed understanding of the way things work not only in China, but internationally. wink

NOT!

 

Btw, your first mistake is trying to have an honest discussion...

avrilinheaven:

oh my god, seems you got lots of problems with ur chinese students, buy them candies , this might help lol

11 years 38 weeks ago
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giadrosich:

Actually, I was just being a little sarcastic. In reality, I can barely get them to say a word, but buying the candles may help with that! Thanks!

11 years 38 weeks ago
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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1084

Shifu

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University students are by far the worst.

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Yes - but it's only following the Chinese mandate "You can have opinion that you want as long as I agree to it and you follow it"!

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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If you think thats bad 

You are going to just love marriageindecision

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 40

Governor

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It's not like that with me.

 

In my house i ALWAYS have the last word...

 

"Yes honey"

 

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Are women here narcissists innately? Or is it a product of environment and culture and government policy?

Keep looking..one day you will find a sweet considerate non-self-centered girl in China...but it may take 20 years.

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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i really and truly do not understand what peoples problems are . the same way i dated in the states is the  same way i date here. if she is not a good fit then it is just a sexual relationship until i find a good fit. i do not see each and every chinese woman as a clone. each is different, if you use shit you attract flies. if you use honey you attract bees, if you use flowers you attract butter flies. i made it clear to any girlfriend what i was not willing to compromise and if she could not sign on to it then we said our good byes. try  having a serious sit down conversation with your gf (she is a human being) make it clear to her what you expect and what you are willing to sacrifice. after that yes or no? no discussion , a yes or no answer.  as for me, i would never compromise when it come safety and health.  i tell them, i want her using bottled water  to cook. she asks why, i explain to her that it is cleaner than the pipe water. no problems. i don't know how some of you guys met your gfs, but i know when i dated a stripper back in the states not to expect her to be a good gf. that type of woman usually will never turn out to be a good wife. i knew an old brit whose only experience with chinese women was bar girls (prostitutes) and this bozo seriously tried to date them, he even made one his gf. bought her a house , gave he all of his salary each month . everyday he would whine and complain about the arguments, the stubbornness. ATTENTION ALL MEN!!! women of a certain ilk will never see a man as a person, they will always see men as untrust worthy. you know why, women in certain professions see men at their worse, and they hear 100 false promises a night. if your woman does not want to accept anything you say, then you need to prove all those who say expats who come here are losers and could not pull women in their home countries wrong, kick her to the curb. if you keep pulling the same kind of women then stop going to the massage parlors , ktvs, and bars to "buy" a gf. Use your manhood and your personality to attract a decent woman.

crimochina:

simple rule of dumb, if you are always having a problem then who you think is the problem ?????????????????

11 years 39 weeks ago
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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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No, not at all.

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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me to i always have the last word i have my wifes permission  ha ha

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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I've only known one like this. Most girls I've known are the opposite. They're so shy, they barely say anything.

kaien000:

Maybe because they barely speak any english!!! 

11 years 37 weeks ago
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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 192

Governor

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It depends on the girls you met.

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 165

Governor

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I think you've had bad luck.  Keep looking, there are plenty of non-selfish, non-opinionated girls here.  Just be patient.

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11 years 39 weeks ago
 
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you must have bad luck in encountering a stupid girl lol

LAR:

"stupid girl"..OMG yes, and there are SO MANY of them! :( This statement is backed up by  the comment that I read recently from an expat saying SO MANY 18 to 30 (I think that's right) year old Chinese females have the maturity level of a child. YUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * Actually, I would say the same thing for some Chinese females

into their 40's.

11 years 37 weeks ago
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11 years 38 weeks ago
 
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I can't tell about all the Chinese girls, but from my experience I would not have an honest discussion and try not to be sarcastic, if I once again try to go for Chinese girl. I tried to be sarcastic once or merely made a joke with my GF (or ex GF not sure yet) then we almost break up. I apologized and cleared out the smoke explaining about the jokes. Then I was out of country for work (just about 20 days), posted some stuff on facebook which she ultimately read it. (Probably it was my mistake teaching her to use VPN and adding on my FB.) From that post and unavailability of regular internet (I had to be in the field at some remote parts) she assumed that I was looking for another girl. Coming back, I again tried to clear the smoke explaining everything. Gosh!! either they don't listen or they don't understand. Or, as a foreigner I am not able to understand them. As I was with a Chinese guy of similar age during the field trip, I learned a lot from him. "Don"t be HONEST and don't try to tell everything to a Chinese Girl. They don't discuss with you; either they just come to you and ARGUE or walk away without a single word leaving you confused." And, that is what I am facing now. I already said to break up and asked for her opinion but it is like talking to a stone. Anyway, I am off now from my side.

Thank lord, she went dumb before I gave her gifts that I bought while returning to China .

 

Anyway, I am pretty sure that not all Chinese girls are like my ex-gf. So, just "smile and wave (took this word from Madagaskar movie) and wait for 'someday, somewhere."

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11 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 60

Governor

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well, just because you are in China doesn't mean you have to date Chinese girls. Inter-cultural relationship is not for everyone. It takes effort.

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11 years 37 weeks ago
 
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Yes, they are...
So much better for me..
More work to do and bigger challenge, thus much more sweater the reward.is.

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11 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9

Governor

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Try dating girls that have lived, studied or worked at overseas. They have better understanding of how other non-chinese's mind works. And try dating those who really speak english too, that helps heaps! 

dharma86:

I would totally agree with this.

11 years 37 weeks ago
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11 years 37 weeks ago

Sometimes we won't know if the decision we are making is right or wrong, we can only trust that it is the best for us at the time.

 
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