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Posts: 258

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Q: Do you find it stressful visiting home?

I'm heading home for the first time in a year, and I'm really excited, but also worried about how stressful it's going to be... I find that when I go home, even for a month, I have no time to just relax- there's always another friend or relative to see, and they expect me to travel around to see them all, plus I end up having the same conversation over and over again- I don't feel like we're really spending any time together... 

 

Do you guys find this when you go home? 

6 years 35 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
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Posts: 3622

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i always find it great returning home, to see my family and friends: children have grown a bit, my parents are in good health and i can stop worrying about them for a while, friends have so much to tell me.

It is a relief not to have to think about things like air and food quality, about being ***ed over by colleagues for no reason, being stared at and monitored 24/7.

It makes me appreciate the simple things at my home a lot more - i can really relax properly.

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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family reunion holidays are not for quiet relaxing. i do that on workday evenings.

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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I quite enjoy going home for a lot of the same reasons sorrel mentioned - the only thing that bugs me is the disconnect I feel with old friends. We enjoy seeing each other but I feel that people just don't understand what my life/work is like here no matter I much I try to explain it to them. Stressed? No way. It's super relaxing Smile

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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I usually plan ahead. Last time we were home, I saw pretty much all my friends in two days. Basically all that is needed for my firends to come out is a text message saying "beer <location>"

Last trip back we were there for a month, I am guessing 10 days spent on "obligations" and the rest just me and wife pissing around doing stuff like going to see my childhood home, doing some basic toursting, going to eat at that cheap restaurant we used to eat at all the time the first year we dated. 

No stress at all. The few people I missed last time are prioritized next time. 

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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  I was freaking-out at the idea of coming back home for a visit (or worse, settling down !), feeling that I changed too much, that I could not readapt to the life back home, that I would gringe at many things...

 

And it turned out to be a really good time Smile I forgot how comfortable and sweet life could be back home, remembering only the bad and not the good. I didn't visit every single people I wanted too, that would have been a crazy schedule. My parent hosted a family meal, which allowed to see a lot of people in one single event. Spend sometime just by yourself in the places you enjoyed back then, it's great and important too.

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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Last time I went home I enjoyed it for the reasons Sorrel and Dongbeiren mentioned, clean air, good food etc but it was also a little stressful in different ways.

 

After being away for a number of years now I have trouble relating to people at home, they can't understand what I do and how life is here.Having no answer for the 'when are you coming home' question didn't help much either.

 

I didn't tell many people I was going home because if I was to visit everyone I would be spending most of my time traveling around the country and sleeping on sofas. I didn't want to do that.

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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Personally  enjoy the travel home. When  get there I don't do the visiting thing, if someone wants to catch up, they are welcome, if not no sleep lost.  Sure I enjoy seeing my father and children, after that its my time. I really enjoy the fresh air, walking the country lanes, feeling free happy, contented and relaxed enjoying the scenery again, as I live in the countryside. I have things to do as the home sits empty, whilst in China, as it is my home and  prefer not to rent even for periods of 10-12 months. I enjoy getting the car out and driviing all over the UK, Ireland, Scotland, Wales or maybe across to Perigueux in France,  more clear air and great scenery. All on impulse,  I'm never in a hurry to do anything or get anywhere fast. Call it a holiday at home.  Simple things like quality bread, butter, milk, fruit,  vegetables and meat make  it all worth while.

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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I feel the same, that I never have enough time. But what I hate is the flight. Then the next flight. Then the car ride. 

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
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I'm home for health reasons and I find when I get home that I'm a bit depressed, bored and don't want to do things. No one is interested in hearing about what I've been up to. My mother has what I think is narcissitic personality disorder. I made a slide show DVD of my pictures and showed her, I pointed out that is my GF Emily. The only thing she asked was what did I do with my scooter? I also put on 40 lbs.

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6 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1154

Shifu

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its not stressful i go home every 6 months for 2 to 3, months and relax no problem

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6 years 34 weeks ago
 
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No, I find it stressful when my parents are visiting me in China. If that would be only me I would live in a fifth tier city if I find a well paying job there and my flat could be in a crappy communist block if i can save money (the kind of place where the factory workers live), but I want my parents to be proud of where I live in addition to who I have become, and that means finding acceptable jobs in more competitive cities, living in a nicer (and more expensive) place, buying nice clothes and so on. Stressful is the word, yeah.

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6 years 34 weeks ago
 
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Returns home are like trips to Paradise.

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6 years 34 weeks ago
 
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  The last time I went home was my first and only break from China, and more importantly from parenting, in the last three years, and it was like one long jacuzzi bath in Jameson's scotch whiskey. Anything but stressful.

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6 years 34 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I find it stressful going home - my parents just expect too much of me and don't really give me the time and space to go to see my friends (my parents/friends live in different countries). This makes it hard for me to have a guilt-free time at home.

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6 years 34 weeks ago
 
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I arrived home three days ago after spending a few months in China.  I am already bored out of my skull, seems like everyone else are just continuing with their boring lives.  

 

I miss China.

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6 years 34 weeks ago
 
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