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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Do you have 'face'?
We all know how important this 'face' thing is here - so much so, that it seems to over-ride any other consideration - including that of basic morality and humanity.
So, do you have 'face', or are you willing to just do as you choose without worrying about such things? Do those around you seem to change their attitude of you based on how much face you choose to save or lose? And, do you care about the face of others around you?
I care about the face of others around me (particularly those Chinese workers at my job) because I was warned by my supervisor when I first arrived that many people can hold a neverending grudge due to loss of face. I'm personally not interested in finding out just how petty people can be especially over small things just because of something about "face".
As for myself, I have not nor will I ever care about that. Being embarrassed or making mistakes are normal things in life and I personally have never really liked people who can't laugh at themselves or acknowledge when they're wrong. I don't necessarily dislike them, but they're just not the type of people I can be close to.
In the eyes of most Chinese, it is impossible for a foreigner to have face. Why bother? The whole face thing seems quite childish to me. If you make a mistake, you can have a little tantrum and no one can hold it against you? What a wonderful tradition!
I try not to offend my co-workers, unless one happens to be really going at it (every ten seconds "why foreigner all so stupid?" "Canada chairman obama harm china" "fuck-a you ocean ghost." "You kll so many people Nanjing, no civilized, no eight thousand year history" "my speaka english so good"), then I will put them in their place, just to get them to shut up, and have the rest of the Chinese aghast at me for a few weeks for daring to cause a Chinese person to lose face.
I always try to conduct myself properly in public. I'm polite, I try to be a "Western gentleman" and it's worked out well for me. My father in law told me I was a "man of honor." I think that's pretty high praise in China, am I right? I have a good reputation and am well respected by the people who know me and people who see me often in the commmunity.
I never do anything to intentionally make someone else look bad. If I have a problem with a Chinese person I know I bring it to their attention in private. "Face" is something very important in many Asian countries and it shouldn't be dismissed because it seems silly to Western sensibilities.
crimochina:
beau is the most intelligent poster on this site why are people giving you thumbs down? do they expect you to come to china and embarrass your wife and inlaws???
Super8:
Not doing anything to make another humen being look bad is just simple good etiquette. The English equivelent of 'saving face" is called "false pride". This is not a positive value to promote in any culture.
I don't cause others to lose face, they don't cause me to lose face either. Everybody seems to think highly of me, and so far I haven't disappointed them, so I suppose I have face. I don't have any reason to want to lose it either.
Sometimes the whole "face" can be really gear grinding, but it's not my country, and since it's a really important notion in the Chinese culture I respect it and try to be as gentle as possible. Hopefully I was born a shy person who represses his emotion, so it helps, haha.
beaufortninja........wow man.......really?
That has to be the most politically correct post ever.
I hope your father in law read that, his personal stock in you must be through the roof!
By the way....he doesn't read this site....so no need for the "made up" phrase "Western gentleman"
beaufortninja:
I'm a good boy in public. Now when I'm behind closed doors at my house, things get a little freaky.
I was gonna post about your "things get a little freaky" comment but .....no.......too easy
If your honest and up front and dont have a public face and private image that is vastly different then you should never have to worry about "losing face". Being honest means calling a spade a spade when the game is in your ball park. When it isnt...say nothing and move on.