By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: Do you miss your family?
I Have 3 older brothers,very close to 2 of them,sometimes the normal things in life ,just seem too hard,to give up while you are living here,family get togethers and so,how do you handle it
yeah, I do.
there is no easy way to handle it. my method is probably one of the worst. I just basically don't think about it. and when it does come to the front of my mind, I rationalise it by telling myself that I can't just pop over to the States because of the expense and it's too hard to schedule. I also remind myself that they have others there with them, it's just me who is alone 5000 miles away in a frickin' weird-ass place. Since I do not allow myself to feel sorry for myself (much), these three 'thoughts' generally keep the issue at bay.
But if you need to spend time with your family, there is only one real solution. Book a Flight
981977405:
I wish that I could give you at least 10 thumbs up for this really good and sensitive answer. Probably reflective of what many of us feel.
debbie.luo:
I also try not to think about the family back home. But like you mentioned, it's probably not the best way to cope with it. I was in a MacDonald's one time and I saw a guy walk past and then he met up with an older woman, they hugged and he gave her a gift and left. For some odd reason I just assumed it was mother-son reunion and I just starting feeling sad and bam! thought about my mom back home. Boy, that ruined my Happy Meal...
yeah,,i miss them but on weekends...or when i come to know that someone is in my family facing some problems..i just do lot of talks with my family members whenever i miss them
i do miss them but when ever i miss them alot i just go to sleep and it help me alot..........
GuilinRaf:
Would it be possible for you to j oin some kind of club or something? Sleeping ones depression away, you run the risk of sleeping your life away.
A club or something, hobby, etc. could also help you make more friends and that too takes away from the loneliness.
I did too much of that (sleeping) in high school and missed out on some potentially fun activities which now, 25 years later I truly regret.
:
most of people use to get away from problems and missing home by drinking, smoking weed or just smoke but fortunately i don't do any of this thing .and now after a long time i realized that sleeping is doing me no good and its just making me lazy so i made some good friends now and most of time i am with them except my work time and i am doing great now ,(pardon me for my bad grammar
I schedule a weekly chat with my loved ones back home. I use instant messenger, which allows a web cam chat. It is almost as good as chatting in the living room back home. It also helps that I am exactly 12 hours ahead, so 7 PM Sunday night is 7 am Sunday morning for them. We chat for a bit as they get ready for Church. Sometimes we go into overtime and they then go to the 10 am services. Sometimes we just chat for a few minutes depending on plans and on amount of things to chat about.
We make it more or less weekly and if for some reason we cannot make it, a quick email helps re-schedule.
And of course, I get to go home for the entire Winter holiday which as a teacher, it is nice and long, so that helps too.
I also do a bit of what diverdude recommends. I have friends and activities here too, so I dont dwell on it. After all, they dont either.
Yes, I miss my family very much, particularly my mother. She is an eternally kind person, who raised me, my three brothers and my sister single-handedly after my dead-beat father bugged out, and she did this without accepting a penny from the state but instead chose to go into private teaching as a piano teacher; although in the early days times were so hard that she had to post leaflets throughout Tower Hamlets to subsidize her earnings with the five of us in tow.
After my father left, when I was twelve (being the second youngest), she never took another partner, but as a struggling single parent and voluntary worker for the Samaritans, whose ex-husband only allowed her the bare minimum of child support (50 pounds a month at that time) she never failed to lend aid to our friends: those I remember were my friend John, who was allowed to stay with us at the age of 16 when he could no longer stand the violent abuse of his father, my brother Anthony's friend Crispin who had mental problems and was in danger of becoming homeless after his parents turned their backs on him, my other brother Christopher's girlfriend Nichola, who had a drug problem and was also thrown out by her parents, and my sister's boyfriend Tony who eventually became the main father figure to yours truly.
So in answer to your question, yes, I do miss my family very much indeed. They are all good, caring people, entirely deserving of respect.
mArtiAn:
PS: I hope the general populace of this forum are forgiving of the long-winded nature of this post, but in light of a recent, undignified question made by PaulMartin, I would hope for some understanding in my seeming indulgence.
My only family now are my two children, both are adults, and my sister and her family. we use Skype and email, and I do go back to the UK a couple of times a year and we meet up then. They always know if something really urgent came up I would be back on a flight that day. I do miss them but I don't miss not being in the UK, in fact by the time I have been back a few days I am itching to get away again so it is a mixture of feelings really. I love seeing them when I do but I also really enjoy the company of my new friends here, who are both Chinese and western. As I say mixed feelings.
mArtiAn:
I know exactly what you mean. The last time I went back to the UK was two years ago, which as it happened coincided with the death of my Grandfather, so I was able to attend his funeral. But as much as I was happy to see my family and old friends, after two months at home I was eager to return to China. Maybe it's the difficulty of living in such an alien culture to that which I am used to that attracts me, but the fact is I get bored back home and feel constantly challenged and stimulated by my life here. Not to say it's not a pain in the arse in China sometimes, but at least it keeps me awake. Plus I have never found anywhere to buy crack here.
I miss my family more than words can ever describe. I wish this was a more foreigner place to live and I'd invite them all to live here. But I think the good times for China are not going to last much longer and I will rejoin my family soon.
