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Q: Do you practise "face" in China?
If you are a foreigner, do you practise "face" in China? Do you give "face"? Have you ever taken "face"? Is it a very difficult concept for you to understand or it is an easy concept? "Face" is very important to the Chinese even in daily mundane things. Your comments please.
Interesting question, I will try to answer it "honestly" ! 
Yes, I am aware of what "face" means to Chinese nationals, and it was not too difficult to understand, even if I really do not approve of some of the things they do to preserve "face".
And NO, I do not prectice "face" , and as a result I do not give "face", just respect for those than are into it.
To me, self respect is what I do really practice. I treat others like I would like to be treated. And apply to myself the same standars and rules I apply to the rest of the world. And also, to me, "face" and self respect are different things, "face' is outwards, while self respect is "inside me".
I hope I have been clear enough for others to understand my answer. If any doubts, ask further questions.
981977405:
Thank you very, very much for this really graceful and gracious answer. I am unfortunately in a city that has remained traditional and where "face" is everything. Some days, I think that I have it "down pat" and other days, I don't have it "down pat" at all. I have seen one good teacher not have his contract renewed, not for his teaching style, which quite acceptable, nor for his personality, which was very gregarious, but for the fact that he wouldn't practice "face" with the higher ups. It is just so frustrating to me sometimes.
Face: Tis the season to "show" it and possibly "lose" it I guess. There have been times during the holidays that I have given face, if you will. Even if I don't like a food on the table I will have a try so my wife's family doesn't lose face. I have brought gifts to places and given money...against my will...to "get face". I'm not happy about each instance but I understand that I am here now and some things are different than back home. My holiday has been somewhat enjoyable because of it. In years to come I hope to enhance this. Maybe even introduce new "customs" so I feel less like a guy doing stuff for approval.
From most of my expereinces, "face" is all about lying to show respect where none is due simply because of positions and the appearance of status, spending money to "purchase" face, and a code of "honor" built apparently on bullsh!t and the concept that you never, ever accept responsibility for something wrong or bad, even if it's 200% completely obvious that it was your fault.
It's difficult for me to deal with face simply because it's an unwritten code of honor, respect, prestige, and status that I didn't grow up with, don't fully understand or agree with, and I have a HUGE problem giving any of those things to people who A.) haven't EARNED them and B.) don't DESERVE them. And that's a majority of the people I have met that I am supposed to "give face" to.
This is a system that worked well under feudalism and caste systems so people would "know their place" amongst superiors, lessers, and even amongst people of similar status.
I don't really care about it and especially when I am EXPECTED to follow the BS rules of it because I'm dealing with Chinese people. Guess what? China is NOT the center of the universe and PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO ACT EXACTLY LIKE CHINESE to deal with Chinese. Maybe try dealing with other cultures instead of thinking other cultures must kowtow to China and it's ways.
Here's an example with "face" just to get an idea of how stupid this concept is:
Chinese company makes a product, which has some quality issues. Noone in China seems to care or point this out, so they spend money on the product with little to no complaint. Foreign partner signs deal then gets an onslaught of reports of these problems. Chinese company fixes a FEW of them, while bitching and complaining the whole time about how they can't believe anyone would complain about these things since noone in China does. Foreign company DEMANDS all issues be fixed citing the quality standards and expectations in the west are higher, Chinese company gets offended, stops offering all support, then stops dealing altogether in complete violation of the contract. Chinese company laughs, thinking they made some money and got away with some sort of face thing, foreign company spreads the word to the rest of the world that the company is full of scumbags, not to be trusted, and are basically criminals.
All because of face and face's awesome ability to never accept responsibility for anything.
thedude:
Beautiful Mr. Tibbles once again. I love the part about the Chinese company...I experience this exact thing almost every week here and it makes me drink more than I should. I have also never given people respect based on position but based on the content of their character regardless of social standing...although I am always polite.
No. And I agree with Mr. Tibbles that the west has for too long, been kind enough to deal with other cultures in their way for the purpose of business. We do it cause we just figure it'll make the actual business deal easier, in reality it makes it harder cause they end up believing we think their way is better.
I act in the effecient, direct western manner in all things that concern my interests.
MrTibbles:
Which, I have to say, is the proper way. Forget culture and that stuff. Honesty, integrity, and the ability to adhere to the agreed terms of a contract should not be influenced by cultural differences. "I will do this as we agreed to the terms of the contract." If this can be distorted by "culture" it says a lot about a culture. Ever notice that here in China, they will change or bend contracts to their benefit, but when it comes to agreed items that solely benefit the Chinese company, the contract MUST be adhered to?
nevermind:
Yup, and, as time goes on, more and more foreign companies are not putting up with it. Hence, they are leaving for other places. So, have fun destroying your own economy, China.
I refuse to give face because it sounds like some kind of weird sex thing.
