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Governor

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Q: Does anyone have confidence issues (or any other trauma) in China?

Does the constant staring effect how you live your life?
Does the lack of privacy effect you?
Does being with other foreigners make it easier to cope?

8 years 5 weeks ago in  Culture - Lanzhou

 
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Comments (11)
Posts: 1933

Shifu

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My first girlfriend in China couldn't take the staring and the comments. she ended up having a nervous breakdown, not used to being the centre of attention like that. Soured the relationship considerably.

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1318

Shifu

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Does it count that when I visit a 1st tier city and don't get the stares I'm used to that I feel something is an issue?

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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I try my best to ignore the staring. I'm starting to get to the point where I just don't care anymore. I still have privacy because I can spend my time in my apartment alone. I really miss being invisible though, it was something I wasn't bothered by at home. Of course I haven't been here that long, I could still have a mental breakdown in the future for all I know.

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
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yeah whenever i'm not stared at i feel strange. i somewhat need the attention now

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
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About the staring: I stare back, I am Brazilian hahaha
the trauma is to be the only western in my town, which made me the only expat here, and I have to drive about two hours if I need a Pizza or a Big mac, I hate KFC

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1006

Shifu

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After 6 years I find it's like a roller coaster, love, hate, indifferent, hate, love, ok, hate, hate, hate, like, indifferent, love, detest, loathing, murder, murder, MURDER....

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 333

Governor

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If you have this issue or that issue here in China, it's the best for you to just pick up things of yourself and go back home.

this is not an unfriendly warning! just to give you a kick to understand you are IN A DIFFERENT CULTURE WORLD here. I think ppl in a foreign land all of us will feel things difficult, different than home, etct. What you should ask is how to enjoy your time while you are still here.... Smile

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8 years 5 weeks ago

I like a snowy Happy new year, rather than a no sky one...Beijing's time to ban the cars---the only solution for the time being...

 
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Emperor

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I love living in a fishbowl!! Instead of being intimidated, ask them if they want an autograph.
Grow a beard, and wear Bono sunglasses, even at night....some of them even ask for pictures with me!!

When I go home it feels strange blending in. Shock

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9197

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I was waiting for someone to come up and stare at me, never happened. I was going to stare back with a snear and pass my hand up in front of my face and smile as my hand passed over and then bring my hand back over my face and change to a snear and do this again,, and then laugh at them,,,I was wondering if I could make them laugh doing this ?? I had a hard time getting laughs,, I had to explain why somethings were funny.

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
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The staring is ok. I just smile with a big grin. It unnerves them. I offer to let them take photos of me, I provide them with my autograph. They think I'm famous. I have been on TV 2 times already locally so the autograph is now justified!!
Language is the big problem - tend not to go out a lot due to communication difficulties. By 'go out' I mean to local bars or restaurants on my own. Shopping and work - no problems.
Privacy - probably have too much and maybe not healthy but I am getting some stuff done that I never had the opportunity or time to do before and always wanted to do - guitar, computer, writing.
Yep, going out with the rest of the foreigners is a good break because you can speak in your own accent and as fast as you like and know that you are being understood. Being able to talk shit with a belly full of beer is great as well!
Smile

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2256

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My Chinese friends have felt bad for me. One even wanted me to wear a hat when we went to another city so people wouldn't stare at me. I explained to her that they already stare like crazy here, why would it matter if they stare in another city?

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8 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 280

Governor

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I'm not traumatized (yet) but if someone told me they were I really wouldn't be surprised or find it funny . A friend of mine's young daughter (7) is very traumatized . When her family would be out people would take picture of the young daughter because her hair was in braids and they had never seen anything like it . They would come up to her trying to touch her hair . I'd prolly be deported for seriously hurting someone if I had a child here and people did that to her . Now my friend's daughter runs and hides when they have picture day at her (int'l) school because she's terrified of cameras . It's so sad

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8 years 5 weeks ago

Before you judge someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you're a mile away and you have their shoes!

 
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