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Q: Does anyone have a really good way of channeling anger?
Sorry I know I'm asking a few unhealthy questions of late. But... anyone? Healthy expressions of anger? I mean do you stick pins in dolls, do the barmaid, flagellate? Sarcastic answers are welcome too but also hoping for something useful.
the most useful thing i do is identify the cause of my anger. then i am lucky enough to have a friend who will willingly listen to me swear like a docker for a few minutes. Such a cathartic thing for me. I also reciprocate for a friend. 
happywanderer:
I don't believe it! I don't think you can swear sorrel. Or is there a bad sorrel...?
sorrel:
even I have a limit to my patience. it takes the most determined and persistent person to push me that far. Then they are likely to get a shock - that is if I can't distance myself in time !!
i'm too lazy to goglle. wtf is flagelate?
diverdude1:
oh,, sounds fun,,I'll try sometime. when I was young I vented my anger punching wall with fist. but busted knuckles sure hurts. Honestly,, I rarely feel anger anymore. I'm pretty old. If i get pissed momentarily I speak mean to people, tell them I think they are fkng asses (dickheads, losers, savages, homos,assholes, pussies; or whatever pops to mind).
happywanderer:
Wow, yeah ok verbal abuse definitely sounds better than busted knuckles
.
diverdude1:
yeah,, but I'm old school Texas,,, I'm not big or tuff, but when I dog-out a dude I'm standing there. I'm ready and willing to throw down. but I still believe the old way of two dudes squaring off with fists and not really hurting each other. just a few punches and that's that. But,,, I got jumped in Manila one time(well, twice),, jumped in Zhejiang also,,, lucky come out alive. Asians willl jump u with multiple guys,, and they'll knife u drop of a hat... Careful be boys.
my advice for white-guys is don't fight in Asia. or,, be not drunk,, and havea good get-away planned.
happywanderer:
daaaaamn. But ya do realize the knifings are ok - they have mental problems, not their fault.
if I don't vent my anger it stays with me. I use humour sometimes to vent. If I dealt with an a***** customer, I would often go into the vault and scream, doesn't help, I'm only kidding, this will let off a round of, ''no fair, it's my turn to scream'', every body laughs, anger gone.
diverdude1:
You are interesting HW. I believe you are somewhat intelligent. Where are you? It is late here in HK. Tell us a bit about yourself. I feel you are a bit of a newcomer to East Asia. I do like your style though. (pardon the less than cogent response. I'm a tad intoxicated.)
happywanderer:
. And no worries, I do everything intoxicated 
.TedDBayer:
It's called having a Bad China Day, you'll have more, BCD.
First Person Shooter game, in "god mode" with "give all ammunition"
VERY therapeutic!
happywanderer:
Ah now that I can't disagree with, but it's temporary. If you're really angry you can't sleep and while beer will put you down for a while you still wake up feeling a bit funky. I don't mean the hangover 
.
I exercise it down. Anger makes the exercise easier, and exercise makes the anger more manageable. I've done 15k runs where I've thought of nothing but punching an ex-boss of mine in the face. And, if you do it right before work (Most, if not all of my long-term anger is work-related...not to sound like the psycho witch you don't want to have a desk next to), you are too damn tired to actually do it.
happywanderer:
Haha, right! The forest gump approach is what I need. And screaming in a vault. Somehow I suspect I've embarked on a journey that's gonna take me to a dark place but it could be fun.
happywanderer:
And the "15k runs where I've thought of nothing but punching an ex-boss of mine in the face" comment is spot on.
Fricken' double-post. Makes me want to punch my screen.
Jogging... of course, in China this comes with its own set of hazards.
happywanderer:
Pollution and dangerous drivers? Yeah I'll have to find a good spot.
sex
happywanderer:
Now that is exactly where I'd go. Not always on tap though aye. When you most need it it's not always an option. Oh the frustration 
.
Gym + iPod + loud, fast, angry music. I generally don't have to ask people to get out of my way, or to share a machine when I'm in this mode. They flee, happily 
Actually, that's my secret. I'm always angry.
The trick is to just find something you like to do... like smashing faces in, destroying property and leaping across gorges.
happywanderer:
Note to self: Radiation may help me find ways to express anger positively - check gorge leaping. Perhaps try experimenting with spiders as well...
First off … I have no reason to ever be angry …. My life is a blessed one
Last year, when angry or down a little…..I would go for a walk in the nearby park and sit and meditate in the quaint, quiet, cute little “ cabana” in the park before returning home. 1.5-2 hour refresh session.
I have changed my anger routine somewhat this year….. I hop on my e-bike and race around the main streets, totally uncaring about my safety and certainly not of anybody else’s, then into the alleys, horn honking constantly as I race to my quiet “cabana”, hoping I haven’t got too lost and not gonna run out of power. I settle at my cabana and have a couple smokes (didn’t smoke last year)… reflection and nicotine make me feel much better. Smokes done and I hop back on the bike and race home to the beer that made me angry in the first place……… it should be cold and drinkable now.
Exercise in one form or another seems like the best way. I have an old knee injury and don't want to get it operated on for fear they'll f--- it up worse than it already is, so I don't run. I need a good outlet for anger as well.
happywanderer:
Yeah surgery is kindof a last resort isn't it. So do you punch stuff instead? So far options seem to be sex, alcohol, exercise, and screaming in a vault. I really do like that last one - that has potential. (Only I don't have space for my own vault.)
I have punched many things, in fact I fractured the bone that extends from my right pinky finger on an old oak tree years back. I don't fight with people that don't REALLY deserve it. I think running and sex are the best ways. Alcohol is a bad choice (I type as I, half-buzzed, enjoy my second tall Danish beer on a Saturday morning).
Maybe punching things would be okay if you know the right technique, which I don't. What has you so angry, if I may ask?
happywanderer:
sam239:
Whatever. Ever read any Tom Robbins books? They're a good guide for how to be a pirate when it's 200 years too late.
I have found an aggressive sport helps.
I used to play Rugby before I came to China.
BHGAL:
I agree..... sports are what gets daily aggravations out......I have done them all ...hockey (#1, I'm Canadian) ..... soccer, lacrosse, football, snow skiing ( this is good) ... water sports ..... I like ping pong...(sort of) basketball (Idid but way too short) ... so Chinese are going to have to recognize my sports before I participate much with them ..... Tennis, well maybe.
curling and golf are both good fun!mike168229:
Golf is too damn expensive here (I'm Scottish, we have free municipal golf courses). They have never heard of Rugby and the only other sport I do is fencing. Again, no chance here.
I would have a go at boxing but, once I started hitting someone, I am not sure I would be able to stop.
happywanderer:
Haha, that's the best reason for not doing boxing I've ever heard.
rock music+boxing always help.
happywanderer:
That's a few calls I've seen for punching things. Very appealing option.
To counter the punching option, I was so angry with my now ex-girlfriend's brother after he refused to stop smoking in my home, that I punched him. I would have punched him a lot more if it wasn't for my girlfriend and their mother stopping me.
I should point out that, this is much unlike me. I had never hit anyone before I came to China four years ago, but gradually China has changed me. In saying this, I punched him after over two weeks of frustration at everyone else's disrespect of me and my home, and the pressure of them all living with us ina small home. My girlfriend didn't attempt to solve it all.
ANyway, I then told my gf's brother to get out of my home. His mother went with him. GF went with them. It's caused a lot more problems since, even if it has meant I have my home back etc.
Sadly, it's proven that violence is not really the answer.
As with Mike, my sports aren't really popular here. It's difficult to even find a football pitch to play on, and then you have to find others to play too.
sorrel:
For any now based in Beijing, Gaelic football is played. Being a Gaelic game, punching an opponent is ok if the ref. doesn't see it. and if you are in Changsha, there is a football league organised by ex-pat and all are welcome to play
sorrel:
the guys in Changsha used the sports pitches attached to the universities every sunday afternoon and moved between 4 campuses (?) every week. do you know some ex-pats there and maybe some locals to attached to a university that could organise even a 5-a-side?
happywanderer:
Wow I gettcha Carl. Particularly the "My girlfriend didn't attempt to solve it all." - I've noticed people here just don't think in that way. If you don't point something out and very clearly explain it'll never occur to anyone, even if it's the most basic of common sense. Weird. I see it again and again.
And Gaelic football does sound kinda healthy.
