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Q: Does beauty really lie in the eyes of the beholder?

Why is it when I look at someone, my mind automatically judges them. She's pretty or she's cute or she's hot. Or when I tell my friends my opinions they can agree or disagree. Why is skinny goodlooking and chubby ugly?
I believe I know the real reason. Media, that devil. 
A man once said tell a person a lie enough times and the person will soon believe it, even if the person knows it's a lie.
Who made us judges of what beautiful or handsome should look like? I believe our minds make automatic associations between our peronal lives and all the media content pumped into us from our surroundings; movies, ads, friends are the true dictators of what physical beauty is.

This really got me thinking when recently a real cool, down-to-earth,once in a lifetime mexican girl asked one of my friends out and he turned her down because and I quote "Man, look at her face!"

I'm not really friends with that idiot anymore. 

But I wouldn't say I'm immune because I also tend to act differently towards people based on their physical appearance (esp. ladies). I really hate it and I wish I could just unbrainwash myself and see the world in a whole different way. 

I envy Shallow Hal right now. Because I believe true beauty does not really lie in my eyes, but in the eyes of hollywood and fashion models. 
God bless you if you're unaffected. 
 

8 years 36 weeks ago in  Lifestyle - China

 
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Posts: 2735

Governor

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Got Jesus? It was because of him that we are able to have our own opinions and we can do what we like. It is in the eye of the beholder, but don't judge too quickly as those you judge will quickly judge you.

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8 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1318

Shifu

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 Because as people we depend on our sense of sight beyond all others.  It has been this way since the begining and is hard wired into our brains.  We are naturally driven to produce the best possible offspring and physical appearance is the easiest way for our brains to "weed out the herd" so to say.

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8 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2256

Emperor

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We are human, and we can't like everything. We can't see everything equally. How would you define equality, especially for something aesthetic like beauty? If you couldn't decide who was pretty, how would you figure out what girl is for you? I mean, let's face it, looks aren't everything, but they are a part of attraction. Looks don't stop you from making friends, do they?

Stereotypes can be annoying, but a lot of them are based on some general facts. This person is younger than me, oh, he probably likes a different kind of music. This person has tan skin, maybe she likes to go to the beach. We build up a database of information based on what we have experienced. It's part of the first impression experience, which can be bad, but gives us a quick guess of how to interact with the person. It happens in seconds. Is this person trustworthy? Will I have something in common with this person?

This is simply human nature. Without it, I think we'd make a lot more stupid mistakes. However, when we let that become prejudice, then it is a problem. The media does have some influence on it, as well as public opinion, culture, age, ethnicity, DNA...all of these have some influence on what you like and don't like. For instance, in parts of the world, pale skin is beatiful, and in others, a nice tan is seen as beautiful. However, there are people in these cultures who think the opposite, or don't care about either.

Maybe for a better example, I should talk about myself. I come from America, where a buff, slightly tan, suave guy is seen as handsome. However, I like skinny Asian guys. This was not dictated to me by the media, it is my own preference. Nobody told me to like them, I just do. Nobody told me to like goth clothing, I just do. Nobody told me to dislike Justin Bieber, I just do. Ok, that one's a joke. You can't choose to like something you don't like, and you can't choose to dislike something you do like, it doesn't work that way. You can control yourself, you can overcome prejudices, but in the end, you can't change simple things like your favorite hair color or dimples, or whatever it is you like on a girl. Don't feel bad about it. Just because your friend doesn't like someone, doesn't mean you dislike them too. Everybody has their own preferences. The fact that you are aware of these things is good, but that doesn't mean you have to change all of it.

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8 years 36 weeks ago
 
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What i think is that lust,physical attraction is just the first step.Once you have lived with,and had children with somebody your needs,desires change you see your partner in a different light is she a good mother can you still talk about everyday things and feel ok and sometimes not even speak and still be ok.If they were injured in an accicent would you still be there,the lust may wain but the love grows.Every stage in life comes with different points,some good some bad

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8 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3046

Emperor

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NileRafter posted a question dear to my heart, the media inluence on watchers, and the way they try to contol our minds and thought process.

Back home, one thing really pissed me off, everytime a politician had a speech, networks will plug in a commentator to analize the speech for us.  To me it was insulting, it was like telling me I had no brains to understand what had been said.  I used to turn the volume off until the fellow stopped talking.

And in regards to their efforts to teach me what was beautiful or not, I always held to my belief that while the wrapping was important for a good first impression, the contents were even more important for a lasting impression.  To me, in a way, it was very funny to see the media effort that beauty was in large breats, the bigger the better.  Maybe I was the odd man thinking the opposite, a well shapped A cup, maybe even a B one, was far better that to risk being knocked out by a falling mammary when the bra hook was released.

No, I have had my own opinion and taste well defined, even with the media influence, who had no effect on me.  Maybe this is one reason why I am in China and not back home, since I do enjoy slender bodies and small breasts.  And in my eyes there is no lust, I do enjoy looking, but it is done with eyes that enjoy beauty acording to my definition, not lust.

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8 years 36 weeks ago
 
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