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anonymous
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Q: Does this Chinese guy like me?

About two weeks ago I met a really cool, attractive Chinese guy in a bar. He is a few years younger than me. Since then we have seen each other nearly every night but when we go out it is always with his friends. We have never been alone together. He has never tried to kiss me or anything but we get on great and we have a lot of sexy eye contact. I tried to kiss him but he told me that he is very conservative and that Chinese people are not as open about these sort of things as Westerners are. There are other complications as well, I saw him holding hands twice and looking very cosy with his Chinese friend who is a girl. I asked him about this and he said that he considers her to be like a little sister. I am also worried as he asked me to lend him quite a bit of money. I told him that I do not know him well enough to do this and we still see each other all the time. I have been told that it is not normal for a Chinese guy to ask a girl to lend him money. Even though I only know him for such a short time if feels as if we have known each other for a very long time.

 

Can anybody try to shed some light on this for me? Any advice etc would be greatly appreciated!

 

Thanks!

10 years 2 weeks ago in  Relationships - Other cities

 
Answers (20)
Comments (13)
Posts: 9206

Emperor

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Never ''loan'' money to Chinese. Young Chinese guys go to beauty parlours. Bring him home if you like him, he'll be good for 2 minutes.

crimochina:

ted i must  disagree with you. he would be active for 2 minutes. debatable on whether or not it would be good.

10 years 2 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

crimo, o right, I have to agree with you, thats why I got freebies

10 years 2 weeks ago
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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
Posts: 149

Governor

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LOL, a good looking chinese guy!!!!  Thats the best way to start off any good joke!!

looking2:

Somebody probably got you good up the butt, didn't he?

10 years 1 week ago
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badtroll:

Poor chinese man, its accepted here in your country that your an ugly duckling and your dick is smaller than your fingernail.  You were forgiven of that by the rest of the world a long time ago.....do continue with your "gay" jokes.

10 years 1 week ago
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bigasspanda:

Retarded!

 

10 years 1 week ago
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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3339

Emperor

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Loan him money? Throw out his number and block his calls. 

 

Also "like his sister" whatever, I have had trysts with at least three female friends. Just sex, that's all, but to avoid being a "couple" that was our standard answer to anyone who noticed a closeness. This guy and girl may not be a dedicated couple, but they're 100 per cent boning. 

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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This is not a good situation. Obviously the money is a bad sign, but also, if he doesn't want to go on a date alone with you, he's probably not interested in a relationship. If you are worried about that other girl, why even bother? He doesn't sound worth it. There are definitely other good looking Chinese guys out there. Find a better one.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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It sounds like this guy is trying to play you for a fool. Prove him wrong and dump this guy pronto!

crimochina:

i am a man. i am conservative so i will not kiss you. i am conservative but i will hold hands with another woman (not my gf). i am conservative, lend me money (person i just met)

10 years 2 weeks ago
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WenDz:

Dido. no offense, i'm sure there are plenty good guys out there in a country with the highest population, but this one is most definitely shady, lose him, lose his number, the sooner the Better!! 

10 years 1 week ago
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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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you're dumb. he turned you down, he was holding hands with another girl. but asks you for money. (HELLO!!! you are in china stupid land of a billion liars cheaters and scammers.) 

the second he asks to lend him money is the second you should have kicked him to the curb. handsome guys run this scam on chinese females also. dumb dumb dumb dumb. find a real man, there are plenty of foreign men in china.

he is not even a real man i would have gone for the sex and not the money. once again chinese men come up short.

mArtiAn:

  Jesus, you're awful. What happened to you? Such a low, low opinion of everyone. It can only come from a low, low opinion of yourself deep down. You need to look at that.

10 years 2 weeks ago
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bigasspanda:

Thumb up for Martian!

10 years 1 week ago
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WenDz:

ok, he might not said it in the nicest way, but c'mon at least crimochina's honest! 

and if situations reversed, would you have lend that shady dude your cash?? he's a dead set con artist, full of BS!! ugh, please?!!

10 years 1 week ago
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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Chinese guys don't hold a girl's hands casually unless the girl is their family or girlfriend.''consider her to be a little sister",don't believe such words,if he really views the girl as a sister,he wouldn't do that.Don't lend him money,probably you will never get it back as i don't think this guy is trustworthy from what you wrote above. There are many cool guys in China,including Chinese and foreigners,just go out to find one worth loving.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
Posts: 186

Governor

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This guy is trying to play you.

For starters, you've known him for about 2-3 weeks and he already asks to borrow money? And hasn't asked you out on a real one-on-one date.
Definitely not good signs from a guy if he's into you. Especially the money part.

You also mentioned you guys seem to have some sort of connection and you've acted on it, but he shied away, giving the "cultural difference" excuse. Even if that excuse was acceptable, if he likes you, wouldn't he then attempt something more subtle except sexy eye contact? Trying to hold hands or wanting to sit constantly next to you?

In short, don't waste your time on this guy. Plenty more fish in the sea.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Cut your losses. Move on. Find someone better. Good luck.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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DO NOT LOAN MONEY TO ANYBODY IN CHINA.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I think he just want u guys to be friends and thats. U can't trust him with any money he is not gonna give it back. I hope there are many Chinese guys u may like..forget this one.

GuilinRaf:

I dont agree with your first sentence, but fully agree with the rest!

10 years 2 weeks ago
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debbie.luo:

He wants to be friends, but with benefits. But in this case, he wants to be the only one who benefits.

10 years 2 weeks ago
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GuilinRaf:

Spot on, Debbie!

10 years 1 week ago
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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
Posts: 19

Governor

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I think he just want u guys to be friends and thats. U can't trust him with any money he is not gonna give it back. I hope there are many Chinese guys u may like..forget this one.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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  You've known this guy for two weeks and he's asking you to lend him money? A lot of money? Do you really need to ask anyone else whether this situation is wrong? Everything about it screams WRONG. You feel like you've known him forever? That's just because he's charmed you; he's a player and you are being played, dear.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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I would have to agree with 98% of what the other posters have stated. Consider this: "Ummm...I don't want to be seen alone with you, or have you touch me, or touch you, but, um...could you lend me some cash (and then I'll disappear)."

 

Not a good scenario. And I'm sorry, he probably doesn't "like" you in the way you would want, but he does like you for what he can get from you!

 

As others have said, there are plenty of nice Chinese guys out there, but like any, they have to be looked for and then it takes a little while to get to know someone. Many people try to trust someone too quickly, and get burned. Remember, trust is earned by treating someone with dignity, honesty, and sacrifice. You should want no less in how you are treated.

 

Drop 'im like a hot potato.

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10 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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DONT LOAN MONEY!  It happened to me about 5 times with some girls I met casually. All kind of stories I've heard and never lent even 1 mao.

They are like a mafia and even have a way to make you feel bad politely if you don't lend money, but fuck that with someone I don't know and wants just to get easy money.

I think you should just follow your 6th sense cmon, are you really thinking to lend money to someone just coz is cute and handsome? If so, then we should meet, sometimes I'm cute, sometimes I'm handsome so then you can lend me money sometimes!

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10 years 1 week ago
 
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Maybe he just interested ur money,is dangerous to loan money to he

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10 years 1 week ago
 
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Governor

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From your description, he's not that trust-worthy. But there are bias due to the little information. I believe time will tell you the truth, just do not lend him money. Your misleads may also contribute to his misconduct.

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10 years 1 week ago
 
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Well, what else can I add. I totally agree with most of previous posts. Being myself with a Chinese guy I am definitely sure this guy is an ass-hole and you should let it go.

 

And here are my reasons:

1. You've never had a date alone! At first, my boyfriend and I hanged out with other people, but then he arranged a date with only two of us by asking others not to meet us that evening. And from then on it happened more frequently. I guess he is not that interested into staying alone but perhaps having you with his friends around to show off. 

2. As for the conservative thing, I don't think so. Chinese guys do not hold hands in hand with female friends in public. And they do not call them "little sisters". If a female friend is called "sister" it means there is some kind of relation or interest. I had once a student of mine, asking me to be his "sister" and all the other students giggled. After I asked other people the underneath meaning and they explained to me that it's almost like girlfriend. Moreover, a conservative Chinese guy doesn't go to bars. Moreover, My BF is conservative in some ways but he replied to my kiss when I first kissed him. If that guy is interested in you, he would have kissed you back.

3. As for the money, do not trust him. That is also quite strange. You are a lady and asking to a lady is not very 'conservative'. Plus to a person he barely knows. If it is a little amount like 100 or 200 rmb it's not a big deal but if a significant amount forget it. My rule is never ask and never lend. So far it worked perfectly.

4. You can find a regular Chinese guy, perhaps not in a bar just keep your eyes opened. 

 

 

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10 years 1 week ago
 
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He's GAY and Chinese aren't sexually aware of women

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10 years 1 week ago
 
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sounds bad, very bad.

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9 years 52 weeks ago
 
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