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Posts: 7715

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Q: Does your Chinese gf/bf/spouse/partner 'get it'?

No, I don't mean that 'it'... I mean the other 'it'.... the frustration, hassle, problem, grief, 'culture shock' 'it'.

 

I've only had 1 girlfriend here (yeah, I'm pathetic... what can I say) and I often found it quite frustrating the way she'd just accept stuff that we wouldn't (often involving banks Tongue).

 

I know some will do the old 'when in Rome' crap, but I do wonder how many have someone who really gets how frustrating it all can be sometimes.

 

Or, is because of where they come from? Are T1 city's people more likely to understand than T4 city people??

11 years 10 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 902

Shifu

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I don't think Chinese people in general do get it. When I complain about something to my wife I generally get the "This is China, what can you do" type answer. She lived with me in the UK for four and a half years and has seen the difference first hand, not that everything there is perfect, far from it. Once we moved here she just adopted the old Chinese reaction to these things, which is complete apathy. If I say to her that nothing will change until enough people complain, and if they don't complain they are just asking for more of the same, she still does not seem to understand that either. Most Chinese I know here are of the same mentality, but they are all convinced that China is going to be a world power like America.

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11 years 10 weeks ago
 
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chinese people have been programmed to bend over and take it. it is sad really. 

Scandinavian:

unless of course what they have to take is something you bring to the table !

11 years 10 weeks ago
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11 years 10 weeks ago
 
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I think a great many Chinese people get it - at least as far as they are able.  Their limited exposure to other cultures and their conditioning prevents them from seeing the whole picture, but who really sees the whole picture anyways?  Everyone sees things from their own perspective.  My wife definitely understands Chinese "peculiarities" as she compares my experiences with her own.  What can you expect from a nation that has been locked in and has only been seeing daylight for a quarter of a century.

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11 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1420

Shifu

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My wife gets that she's undervalued. With her skill set she's aware could do a lot better if she could just move away from China. She could be teaching Mandarin in a Chicago public elementary school inside of a year, and make a little under $5k a month, but here she can't even get a job at a Chinese public school where she'd make less than $400 a month for lack of connections.  

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11 years 10 weeks ago
 
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I stereo-typed Chinese to be smart, but found they seem to have limited reasoning, slow workers and just won't think. The people I know think I'm crazy because I get upset when they say they can not do simple tasks.

 I tried to take a large sum out of a bank and the tellers kept saying use the ATM. My GF could not understand why I was pissed because of the multiple fees. I spent an entire day gong to banks. GF would walk away and not listen to me complain. The next day I went to a bank by myself and they had to send a fax for approval, took 20 minutes. The clerks were just to lazy the day before.

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11 years 10 weeks ago
 
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My wife has been in Aus 7years now and not much gets past her
however when the going gets nasty I am left to deal with it
In China however she does not put up with crap from nobody
hence that is why I call her as Hong Tai Lang

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11 years 10 weeks ago
 
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