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Q: Email/texting courtesy in China? Don't get it...
Background info: back in the West, I'm used to firing off a reply to an email or text message received, especially when a problem needs to be resolved immediately or, let's say, within in a day or two max.
However, here in China, whenever I send an urgent email to my Chinese colleagues which may require an opinion or decision, they rarely respond in a timely fashion to nip the problem in the bud. I have often waited days for wishy-washy responses to what I think are solvable problems or issues which need attention now and not next week.
If conflict, disagreement or confrontation is involved in the issue, my Chinese colleagues generally bury their heads in the sand and refuse to acknowledge an issue exits, simply by not responding to the email or text message.
It drives me mad and stalls my engines.
I took Conflict Resolution 101 as a freshman in college. Boils down to no fear, civilized discussion, negotiation and resolution. The answer was: unabashed communication.
Do the Chinese really know how to communicate truthfully whether it be face-to-face, email or text message?
Is there a Chinese "conflict-avoidance strategy" rooted in centuries of not questioning alternatives, keeping their true opinions to themselves for fear of pissing off the boss, thereby losing their jobs, if not their reputations, face, and not in to too distant past, their lives?
Not goading anyone with the question. If this quirky cultural trait has been documented, please post some links so I can understand how best to deal with people I thought were reasonable, easy-going and cooperative. Thanks.
Do the Chinese really know how to communicate truthfully whether it be face-to-face, email or text message?
Yes, they do. They just seldom take that road and instead give out lies or ambiguous answers on purpose. They don't want to be blamed, lose-face, take action, etc. etc.
This is so that when they are caught in a lie, or caught doing nothing they always have an excuse which usually sounds like:
"I didn't receive that message you sent 20 times. Are you sure you sent it?"
"It was just a misunderstanding, there is no problem... it is okay."
"I am so busy, I didn't have time..." *while they watch movies on their computer all day*
"Sure, I will do that later." *Never gets done... unless you prod another 10 times*
Two Chinese in the same office give you different answers or responses to the same problem/question... then ask you what the other person said.
I have worked with Chinese as an ESL teacher, in management and I have had them as clients while running my own business. They are insufferable and there is a 99% chance you will run into much more problems than it is worth doing business with them. I created a new rule to NEVER do business with Chinese again.
I was actually goaded into working with them because a fellow foreign professional told me that this new group was "the real deal", I reluctantly agreed and did business with them... the result?
They fired him about a month later and didn't pay him. And this was his GOOD friend. With me, they did pay but it took 6 months of constantly hounding them for feedback and compensation. They were horrible on their guidelines and always seemed busy doing nothing.
If you can help it, find clients elsewhere or do business with people in countries that know how to communicate effectively.
it is called 'face' in China.
there is plenty online about it.
Communicating face to face and one to one is way more effective to getting anything across with the Chinese. I could send 10 emails and not have anything done, but one at most two trips to their desk and it gets done.
Do the Chinese really know how to communicate truthfully whether it be face-to-face, email or text message?
Yes, they do. They just seldom take that road and instead give out lies or ambiguous answers on purpose. They don't want to be blamed, lose-face, take action, etc. etc.
This is so that when they are caught in a lie, or caught doing nothing they always have an excuse which usually sounds like:
"I didn't receive that message you sent 20 times. Are you sure you sent it?"
"It was just a misunderstanding, there is no problem... it is okay."
"I am so busy, I didn't have time..." *while they watch movies on their computer all day*
"Sure, I will do that later." *Never gets done... unless you prod another 10 times*
Two Chinese in the same office give you different answers or responses to the same problem/question... then ask you what the other person said.
I have worked with Chinese as an ESL teacher, in management and I have had them as clients while running my own business. They are insufferable and there is a 99% chance you will run into much more problems than it is worth doing business with them. I created a new rule to NEVER do business with Chinese again.
I was actually goaded into working with them because a fellow foreign professional told me that this new group was "the real deal", I reluctantly agreed and did business with them... the result?
They fired him about a month later and didn't pay him. And this was his GOOD friend. With me, they did pay but it took 6 months of constantly hounding them for feedback and compensation. They were horrible on their guidelines and always seemed busy doing nothing.
If you can help it, find clients elsewhere or do business with people in countries that know how to communicate effectively.
How about the opposite ? if they needed something urgent from you 
earthizen:
Great question. When they really need something from you and you say no, they would kneel, beg, rob, steal, lie, cheat, spread their legs...etc. Ruthless. This is evidenced by the huge variety of fakes, from university diploma to gutter oil to corruption. Just take a look at something that many of them dream of --- getting the hell out of china. What are they willing to sell? Their soul, in short.
They would prefer to talk face to face. Emails are written evidence.
As the other says : talk to your colleagues face to face... and without others to hear, or even see. They will feel more comfortable ^^ If you have an individual office, that can work. In group, people will not communicate, thou shalt be a drone.
china always acts like the ostrich with the head in the sand regarding international sanctions against any country because they don't want anyone interfering with their policies, having the leaders saying "it's none of our business" or "maybe" and avoiding "yes" and "no" answers is passed down by the propaganda and government to all citizens in society, so this behavior is in business and education, it's all they know, sadly they don't know better, or perhaps choose to not know another option that could be better. if you make the change, you will be accused of western corruption and interference of their perfect world.
