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Q: engaged because the man has dinner with ladies parents?
is this a custom that when the man has dinner with the ladies parents they consider him as her future husband? Is this custom still practiced but depends how traditional the family is? And if the man isn't ready to be engaged yet then he avoids this dinner with her parents?
Errrrr. It depends (tm). There are times, you are at the family table and sleep at the family home, yet wedding is never mentioned. There are times, you are dating since a couple of months, and wedding is definitely where it goes, the time you meet the parents is Judgment Day. The second option is far more common. As said above, "no why", deal with it because you can't escape it.
I think Jesus was a black transvestite midget who loved doing the horizontal monster mash. Then they just made up that blonde blue eyed thing to flatter white men. What do you think?
Spiderboenz:
I dont know about the transvestite midget, but Jesus was definately an Arabic Jew. Possibly what we would now consider Iraqi.
How was the dinner? Can we get some Chinese recipes?
Did you do well with chopsticks?
Once, I pick-up 3 peanuts (out of the shell) with kuaizi and lift it up above my head.... Chinese all screamed: 'niu bi, nui bi', however I'm still single. We were all drunk, too.
You could ask similar Qs at Oprah, me thinks.
I suspect you already know the answer cub.
You are 50. Your girlfriend is 22. If your 22 year old girlfriends takes to for dinner at her parents in China, are you engaged?
Well yes. But maybe not. It depends on the parents.
If they are farmers, and are desperate for some new guy to join the family to harvest the crops, then they might allow their daughter to marry an orphan guy who has nowhere to go. Why an orphan guy? Because traditionally the bride becomes part of the husbands family.
Now, the best age for Chinese women to marry is between 25 and 28. If they are less than 25, and the girl wants to introduce her future husband, the parents are likely to say no to the meeting. They will want the daughter to go get someone better.
Unless, of course, the guy is rich, or the wedding has been pre arranged, or the daughter is being used as a route to a green card or such like.
So yes, if you meet her parent, that normally says you are engaged.
But it's not the daughters choice to take you to meet her parents. If the daughter wants you to meet them, they will refuse unless certain criteria are met. And this criteria might include birth year, consulting astrologers and many more witchcraft like investigations.
The parents have two aims... security in their old age, and a handsome grandson. The welfare of their daughter does not come into it.
I remember once, walking out of a red light street in a popular tourist place , I saw an elderly couple (looked like farmers) leading a tarted up teenage girl towards a brothel. The girl was not at all comfortable, but the elderly couple cajouled her along never the less.
Never underestimate the desire for money in China. Money is God here.
Sell your soul to the devil for fame and wealth? .... hell no, 10 RMB will do.
The weak are not cared for, they are used. See that badly burned begger on the street? It's no accident he was burned. The gangmasters done that to increase his value. China is a hard place. If you are a hopeless romantic or a soppy sentimentalist, China should not be your destination of choice.
If your story is true, you are setting yourself up for a hell of a lot of pain.
Don't get me wrong. There are loads of good people in China. Good honest decent people. But parents willing to "sell" their 22 year old daughter for a green card... don't even go there.
cub:
scotsalan thanks for the answer, yes i partialy knew the answer but wanted to be sure! OK but what if her parents are wanting thier daughter to be happy, they leave the decision up to hr of whom she chooses to marry? i mean,they are not forcing her into or to do something that she has no choice in! She is independent has her business she manages/owns Look, im not jumping into anything or rushing into anything till i have proof all tthis about her is legit ok? How and when i do this is my concern!
Shes 22 and he is 50
Creepy
dokken:
She ll be wearing hello kitty stuff and watching boy bands. Bit too high a price for fresh poontang.
You would never do this pervy stuff back home, but people think because its Asia it somehow becomes ok.
cub:
yes dokken u would think this way! Is it because u have been there done that right? But u have your mind made up already right? And besides i didnt ask u for your opinion or for a lecture ending with your fatherly advice, just a simple answer to a question,not blabbering!
cub:
phil, i can and will post it as many times as i want to here And if u cant stand reading it here then ignore my posts stop commenting end the continuating this by not commenting! And your calling names dont intimidate me in the least! besides, i was addressing my comments earlier to scotsalan not u! MYOB!!
dokken:
She's 22, you're 50. That's the story you are giving us. If it's true you're a creepy old perv, end of story.
philbravery:
why would I stop ?
you are the typing tough guy who makes threats on here an I am just playing the game you started
at least I use my name unlike you Creepy
cub:
well phill, it takes one to know one! u must be guilty of doing whatever u are accusing me of doing And when did i threaten u? i dont make threats i make promises based on your words and attitudes from words u said to me! Again,its your opinion which to me means squat! Again, when did u assume i was playing a game here? How about ending whatever imaginary ''game'' u think im playng and stop replying to me? Of course unless u cant resit being a idiot!
A simple answer to your question: dinner with her parents is like a job interview. They will check you out and see if you tick the boxes for marriage suitability. Bring expensive gifts for the parents.
Let the battle begin!!
Hey Creepy .....have you heard about a special 30 visa for China for guys like you ?
When you asked these questions, have you considered the guy's parents' feelings? Have you considered other relatives feelings? Have you thought about the woman you want to engage with, her feelings? How can you engage with a woman by just having dinner with her parents? What if the girls parents don't like you after they saw your savings book? Isn't it too late to try to avoid to have dinner with you by then?
cub:
of course i consider the parents feelings and if this is a custom they observe/follow or believe then why do u think im on this site asking this question for s bob? According to her its customary in china[not all do this] that when a man and his gf have dinner with her parents his parents together its a sign that they will be engaged then married! i asked her if her parents observed this chinese custom or not she said i didnt have to do this that they are open and its not a requirement they are not too strict about this!
SpongeBob:
...when I said the guy, I meant you. You are not Chinese, no doubt.
cub, I have some questions regarding your questions. Why is this issue even bothering you? Isn't she going to pay for everything and travel to the US to marry you? From my understanding, all you need to do is to say ' I do'. But you are asking this questions as if you are going to come to China and visit her family and engage her, and actually, you are not ready to it so this is bothering you. Why wouldn't you like her...? Maybe because you haven't met yet, but it was once not an issue as you refused to do a webcam chat with her. If you are not ready to engage her yet, then why asking about if you can get bible in China or you'll ship it, compare the house price in China and the US and asking about business investment in China? Maybe your disability in your body makes your brain cells overactive so you start to daydreaming and over worrying about things. I suggest you to see a doctor...but never have dinner with the doctor's parents...they might not be ready to engage their son to you yet.
cub:
s bob these ''issues'' dont bother me,whats wrong with asking questions getting info? i am doing my homework getting prepared so there will be no surprises! of course i want to know about chinesse customs and her parents feelings Here is how it is , First she gets her visa meets me and we get to know more about each other, then if we have chemistry and by meeting in person is the only way to do this right? Then if we see we want to go to the next level of her taking me to china ok? No, we cant marry in the US because she is on a visitor visa only im not allowed to marry her in my country being she has a visitor visa! She has no webcam My income isnt enough to qualify to support her in my country But if i marry her in china we boh can combine our incomes [ its allowed] that now that im married she is my spouse she has proven her income by her business she wont be a burden has this continued source of income she can help my income to where im qualified to be able to marry her in th US She had asked me about the bible,[not my idea i was curious if bibles are either available for her to get in china or if its allowed to bring a bible to china thats all! About the business question, this question was a red herring a trick question to see as i suspected, if busybodies gossipers on this site would get bent out of shape jump to conclusions because they have nothing else to do but assume everything lecture me ok? Now there were a couple answeres that i liked listened to about this subject i liked from scotsalan and another that was helpful! Remember s bob, im not rushing into anything im carefuly asking questions getting informed about what i should say and do and what not to say and not do! Its u thats worried and overacting not me about this! If u live or have lived in the US before u need to look up on your computer what is required by immigration by my government [USCIS]how to bring a foriegn lady to live in the US as a fiance or a wife iIs not easy or quick with lots of forms to get approved before she can marry me in my country And after 3 years married she then can get a green card! its a long process i know! But my government has to see her income her busines as her source of continued income before they approve of her marrying me! As i will also see this info about her source of income her business before/if I marry her to be shure she has been honest with me abour her finances before i get engaged or married to her! And she knows about this!
iWolf:
Well after reading your questions and your reponses and in particular, that reply, I can see nothing going wrong. You are going for gold. Her not so much.
I'd pay good money to see the conversation after dinner and you have left.
cub:
i wolf, if she is honest with me about everything, if she is for real and legit, if everything she has told me is true not inflated or exaggerated then to me she is the gold im going for ok? But untill im sure about this im not making any snap decisions and she knows this!
ScotsAlan:
Yeah. Now she has no webcam. Last week he had no webcam. She is a 22 year old CEO with a masters on $100k a year... and she has no webcam. Ha ha ha. This story is falling to pieces. How many years do we need to go back to the time when laptops and phones did not have cameras as standard.....
cub:
scotsalan, seriously,u need to take your meds and stop selling them! I cant figure u out, 1st u are ok, u give me some good pointers,suggestions and advice then u do a complete 180 and say stupid insulting comments just so u can be in step with your other bar budies just to save face! make up your mind,if u have one! From now on, your advice is worth squat no matter how much ''experience'' u might have!
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
Unless they are former police officers I doubt they are skilled in interviewing pedos. So you might be ok
Ok. I'm taking bets. How many want to wager that this is just some Chinese wumao trainee being put thru the ring of fire before he's hired full time? My money is in. Sure, there are many people in America as stupid as this guy, but usually they don't stay on for the abuse. This guy is trolling. The have-no-shame type of idiot like Vikky. So anyone want to bet that he/she is Chinese?
