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Q: Ever brought back a gift to China only to have it fail completely?
Offered what I thought was a special gift to my Chinese boyfriend's parents, and they barely glanced at it. I tried to explain the meaning, history, culture behind it, etc. Nope, they didn't care. Maybe they didn't the point (it was decorative in nature), but still. Made me feel like crap.
Anyone else ever brought back gifts from your home countries only to have them fail miserably? Or just get a polite 'thanks'?
Offering gifts just seems like so much of a hassle here...sometimes has to be expensive, you have to consider face, etc....ugh...
I have bought expensive Chinese wines and foods,as gifts and my wifes Chinese parents never make a big thing about them,we always do something wrong dont worry about it
paulmartin:
like expat said it should be in 2s,but im not CHINESE so its still the thought that counts in my books
I brought some special cookies from Japan for a friend's family because that is where I visited. The friend and her brothers loved them, but the parents didn't touch them. I suppose it because they are from Japan?
HappyExPat:
If parents were old enough to be alive in the 40's, they probably suffered the Japanesse invasion in WW II, and many have not forgiven, nor forgotten, attrocities then.
Ammia: It is customary for Chinese in their cultural upbringing, to reject gifts a few times before finally accepting them. Furthermore, they will not open the gift in front of you, will wait until you leave to do so, and just issue a polite thanks. Remember, it is within their nature not to express their feelings at all, that will be a huge lost of "face" to them.
And also, the way they look at it is that you remember them enough to bring a gift, not at what the gift itself looks like or what will be used for. So, do not fret any longer about it, just forget it and continue your life as if nothing has happened. And most probably, that's exactly it.
And just for your information, Chinese superstitions are quite clear, you do not offer gifts in odd numbers (one, or three and so forth), but in even numbers, and never 4 gifts. Either 2 or 6.
I brought boxes of Lindt assorted chocolates, booze and perfume. My GF gave me crap for bringing so much luggage [2 bags, 2 carry on] almost half on one bag was presents. I asked and asked Gf what perfume she liked [ gave her some last time]. So after I had bought some she tells me she likes Channel or Dior. I hate Channel. But I'm really disappointed that no one either really thanked me or bought me anything. I kept the booze.
When I first arrived from Italy I brought a very expensive Salvatore ferragamo scarf to my mother in law. You know...all the fuss about Chinese loving name brands...said thanks and never wore it once. I am considering asking for it so I can wear it. Should I?
GuilinRaf:
I understand the feeling, but I think it would be a bit rude to ask for a present to be returned. However, if you ask to borrow it, she just might tell you to keep it...?
That is why I'm an equal oppurtunity offender. I don't buy gifts for anyone. 
Giving any amount of thought to a gift has all but ended for me. I just stock up on little Canadian pins and hand them out when appropriate. Lavish gifts are usually kept in the darn box for fear of getting dirty or broken. Useless.
