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Posts: 40

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Q: Ever met someone for the first time & got taken away?

I happened to meet this guy sometime back ;we were both strangers but kept chatting.

Later,i felt something strange ,afeeling towards this guy.I've met plenty guys but never loved/felt athing for them.

This guy has taken me by surprise;i love him but he's so mean like the devil in terms of expression.He never tell me if he miss me;he never talks unless i go first.Am confused what should i do?NO RUDE COMMENTS PLS

9 years 38 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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It sounds as if he doesn't have the same feeling for you.

If you really like him, wait for him to make a move to show some sort of positive feeling in return, otherwise telling him that you 'miss him' is just creepy.

If he is mean to you in what he says, he is not respecting you and probably making jokes at your expense.

Hold back on what you say and do in his company and see how he treats you:if he continues with the same  behaviour, he is not worth any grief and move on.

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 702

Shifu

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I have strong belief that first impression is NEVER the last impression. 

Its always deceiving...

It is very simple for a girl to feel attracted towards a guy just by chatting... All he needs to do is show that he cares.. I bet you in your first meeting he wouldn't have behaved like he was uninterested in talking to you...

I had a strange experience very recently.. One day I was getting pretty bored so I found a girl to chat on QQ. we talked for sometime and she was pretty impressed by me. the next time she msgd me I was a bit busy so I just gave some basic replies, not actively taking part in the conversation.. She couldn't believe that I was the same person...

My suggestion: Confront him and tell him what you feel for him. And also be 100% clear to him that if he is not interested, you are going to forget him. Result: if it turns out to be not in your favour, you wont have much difficulty in actually forgetting him.

bresch:

Hunny;thanks for your kind words.You're alife saver laughlaugh

9 years 38 weeks ago
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hunny797:

my pleasure..your up vote has now made me stand on 999 points surprise

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Hotwater:

Now 1000 points!

9 years 38 weeks ago
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hunny797:

you are as always so helpful....

9 years 38 weeks ago
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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 928

Shifu

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He's mean like the devil because he never talks first?  You sound like all those other QQ dwellers that are so desperate they add a guy, but even after adding still wait for him to message.   That's so annoying, I delete those people automatially.

bresch:

Jetfire watch your next words  frownyes

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Spiderboenz:

Sounds that way to me.

9 years 38 weeks ago
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jetfire9000:

忠言逆耳

9 years 38 weeks ago
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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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In the past, I always found girls here really, really impatient, craving for phone messages... And once in a relationship, if you don't send the mandatory 3 messages a day (minimum), you are called a heartless cruel monster.

Smell like insecurity and attention-seeking to me, although I can understand where it comes from. Someone can sincerely like you without *craving* for constant attention and communication. People who feel fairly confident, don't worry too much unless the sky is really falling, the Martians are invading or something like that. Personally, I don't have a lot of interest in insecure girls, life is hard enough to not add imaginary fears and stress to it Wink

Chill out, the world is not going to end. If you don't have any sign of life from him for a week, ok, I would *gently* *without going all drama-queen sajio style* confront him. "If we are dating but we never talk and never do anything together, what's the point ?! Are you really into me, because I am into you.".

DrMonkey:

I read again your post. You guys are not even dating, you are just chatting on Internet. Just... wow... are your expecting "Gone With The Wind" level of romance by chatting on Internet ?

9 years 38 weeks ago
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bill8899:

Minimum 3? More like fifty IME. =]

 

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

Isn't it 3 per minute minimum??

9 years 38 weeks ago
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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2855

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What are you, 12 years old?

hunny797:

Answer of the day.............

9 years 38 weeks ago
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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 122

Governor

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Wish we are guys, so we can take the first move!

Spiderboenz:

Downvoted. Why cant you?

9 years 38 weeks ago
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sorrel:

LOL of course you can make the first move.

But if the guy is not interested, you just move on.

9 years 38 weeks ago
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jetfire9000:

Also negged the girl for thinking she can't make a first move based on the notion that she's a girl....   You can! 

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Mateusz:

You definitely can take the first move, and I'm sure many guys would appreciate it. It's a lot of pressure on men to always be the ones to make the first move, and keep it up. A little bit of reciprocity would be nice.

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

Also downvoted.... cos I hate thinking there's something going on, only to hear the "I just want to be friends" crap (ie, I want to use you to improve my English).

 

Having the girl be up-front is very nice!!

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Emotional, possessive infatuation. The guy chatted with her 1 time, now he's being "mean" to her because the interaction doesn't feel as entertaining as the first time. Irrational expectations of the guy. Whirlwind romance taken for granted; normalcy is an offense. She will learn that it's her fault she got hurt. But she won't learn it today. And if she's a narcissist, she might never learn/accept it.
Hey, if this forum is going to be about relationship advice, I much prefer Vallintyn's questions!

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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Hmm, you sound familiar... is he nearly 7 feet tall?

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1845

Shifu

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From the title of the question I thought I would be treated to a joke about kidnapping. I am disappointed. I have talked to many girls like you on QQ. They randomly add you. You chat to them for 5 minutes. Then the next day they demand to know why you have not got in touch with them. They are the type of girls who turn up to a first date in a wedding dress.

Hulk:

FIRST DATE IN A WEDDING DRESS IM CHOKINGcool

9 years 38 weeks ago
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jetfire9000:

Lol yep.  And if you don't answer any super invasive and personal questions, they get SUPER INSULTED, am I right?  They'll then get "comfort" in that they were the first to delete you.  You know, last word and all.    Talk about the behavior of five year olds.

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Yeah, I once met the Queen of England and tried to smack her ass (beats kissing her hand) but was black bagged and thrown in to a van. angry

 

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

 

TedDBayer:

eeeww I'd give her the finger.

 

Gran’pa! Ya NAILED It! » 01 monkey giving the finger

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Stiggs:

mate the queen is classy, you can't just slap her ass like that and expect to walk away... no, you need to buy her at least three beers and flirt over the pool table for 20 minutes or so before you make your move surprise

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Send him a message asking him to meet you at a hotel. Give him great sex everyday with out asking for anything or talking for 2 years. Then he will ask you to marry him.

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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Send him a message asking him to meet you at a hotel. Give him great sex everyday with out asking for anything or talking for 2 years. Then he will ask you to marry him.

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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They are all mentally ill

No ability to handle stress

Can't exercise basic logic

Think world is all about them

Madness.

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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Why are Chinese women so easy to impress? Don't men ever talk to them? I made so many cry and all I ever did was talk to them in the store that they work in. Clingy?

Mateusz:

Often, not really. Chinese men, especially young Chinese men, are incredibly shy around women. When you have strict prohibition about getting too friendly with the opposite sex during high school, that tends to happen. What makes it worse is that Chinese women often expect men to make the first move, and assume that all they have to do is wait for the guys to come to them. That leads to women waiting for men who are too shy to take the initiative. The results are dating services where you put the profiles of your roommates up, since they are too shy to look for their own dates, families arranging dates, or non-Chinese, who actually have the courage to talk to women, moving in. That and women are more willing to reach out to non-Chinese men, since they (the non-Chinese) are exotic enough that it's worth the effort.

9 years 38 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

my bad, I see in another post that OP implied she can't speak Chinese, thought she was Chinese from question

9 years 38 weeks ago
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ScotsAlan:

Spot on Mateusz wink

9 years 38 weeks ago
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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 112

Governor

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sounds serious

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 544

Shifu

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"NO RUDE COMMENTS PLS"

 

Yeah, because that'll deter any deserved snark. 

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
Posts: 40

Governor

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You're all crazy...hahaha but its none of my business

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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"Why are Chinese women so easy to impress? Don't men ever talk to them? "

 

This is it, exactly

Look at how Chinese men treat women. They treat them so low class and like property like an inconvenience.So when someone treats them like a person it becomes like a drug. It creates a tremendous bond. 

 

 

 

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Governor

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"I happened to meet this guy sometime back ;we were both strangers but kept chatting.Later,i felt something strange ,afeeling towards this guy.I've met plenty guys but never loved/felt athing for them.This guy has taken me by surprise;i love him but he's so mean like the devil in terms of expression.He never tell me if he miss me;he never talks unless i go first.Am confused what should i do?" 

Date rape drug will do that to you. 

Englteachted:

Do you know what you are talking about? Date rape drugs do nothing of the like.

9 years 38 weeks ago
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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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There is really no point in giving an infatuated person advice.

 

By asking the question, the infatuated person is really just looking for some sort of re-assurance that all will be well and they will be happy ever after.

 

A bit harsh I know. But we have all been infatuated before. We all know what it's like.

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I presume he's at least a little like me.

 

Not looking for a girl-friend, but after a woman-friend.... mature, intelligent, emotionally stable, patient, with her own set of values, goals, etc. Someone with self-confidence, self-assured, and quite comfortable spending time alone when she feels like it - and doesn't panic when the guy wants some self-time as well.

 

All the traits you are NOT showing!

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9 years 38 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Side question. How easy do you think it is to pick a girl up here...?

 

I have found this works 95% of the time.

 

Talk to girls mate (girl thinks you must be interesting because her mates do).

 

Ignore the sexy lady (she thinks you are not interested so can't be like those other boys and craves your attention).

 

Later, make your move. She will be happy to have the attention.

 

Go figure. I like the 5%...because they are interesting and a challenge...

 

My advice. Play tough to get. 

crimochina:

You ripped that from a magazine loser. Maxim does that piece every few years

9 years 38 weeks ago
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Spiderboenz:

It still works, even if it's stolen from Maxim. 

9 years 38 weeks ago
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ahopkins767:

Aye, it still works ;).

 

 

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