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Q: Foreign girls married or dating chinese men. How is it to be with a chinese men?

Iam very curious about that because is very rare to see foreign girls/chinese men couple. I have been in China 5 years, i have just seen 1 couple. Do chinene men are afraid of foreign woman? Or the foreign woman are afraid of chinese men? Why in earth these couples are very rare?

9 years 41 weeks ago in  Relationships - Other cities

 
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I am foreigner woman here.  I don't think so Chinese man are not confident, in my opinion and bad  experience here with a Chinese man, they are so big liers and foreigner women will never accept this !  In Chinese culture, someone say lies to "save face" , but the foreigner woman will do all her best to find out the truth ! Once she get the truth, the relationship will be end forever !  We are honest peoples and we go on a right way, not say things just to save face.......   
In my relationship, 90%from what he told me, it was lies ! I found out the truth and I decided to say good bye and I think I was doing the best thing as I cannot start a life with someone who lie me !  And more than this, Chinese man dream only MONEY ! They don;t know what is love ! I was asked by him " why do you love me ? "  I was embarassed at this qurstion seeing that he don;t know what is love.... There should be a reason why love someone ??? No way, love it come from inside, it is a feeling , but I can't explain more as I know here peoples will not understand this, maybe only foreigners know my means.   I should love him for his money ? For his company ? For his car ???  No way dear Chinese men, we foreigner women love from heart , it is a feeling, we don't love for things like house, car or your money !
If Chinese men not like smart women, they are just afraid we are more clever than them ! And yes it is true,  every time when my Chinese man tried to lie me,  he never can go with me so far on this way, I found out imediately that he lied me...  In this way, he lose his face little by little and much then in front of me and do you know what was the end of this relationship ?  He DISAPPEARED  ! I am happy I am more strong than him , more clever and more confident !  He is just a faint-heart for me now...   If he would know and feel what is love, he would say " I am sorry I lied you,  please forgive me , I relaly love you and want to be with you "  but a Chinese man will never do this, he will be a aint-heart and preffer to disappear instead to say the truth, because he lost his face forever ! So ? then for what you lie dear Chinese men ????  Whish face did you saved when you lied if now at the end of a relationship you disappear just because you cannot save face again and you are too much down into your lies ?????     This is why foreigner women not like Chinese men. It is nothing about they are shy or not confident or not good in sex. no .  It is because they like to lie all of the time...   And it is a reason why Chinese girls likes more and more now western guys. 

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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One simple answer to why you haven't seen it so much - there are a lot more foreign men here than foreign women!

And, secondly, if you've seen the sort of posts that I have from Chinese guys trying to get a girl on the expat sites, you'd REALLY understand!!!

Expat guys have it easy here. What most Chinese girls want, the foreign guy has. What most foreign guys want, there will be a Chinese girl who has it.

But, it doesn't quite work teh other way around. Single foreign girls will be strong and independant... or they wouldn't be coming here single!! Chinese guys don't like that! They also tend to be wealthier than most of the local guys, which is embarrassing, to shameful, for the guy. Not to mention intimidating. Could also be that foreign girls know more about sex than the local guys, and that also embarrasses them.

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9 years 41 weeks ago
 
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Chinese men always want their girls to be timid, submissive, not as clever, certainly not independent and the ultimate taboo is for the woman to be richer. They also are insecure about their meat size and sexual skills.

Hence there are very few. Chinese in general are not strong willed or self confident whereas Westerners are very strong willed and independent. Very attractive as a man but as a woman very off putting for a Chinese man as he will feel impotent

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 60

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I am foreigner woman here.  I don't think so Chinese man are not confident, in my opinion and bad  experience here with a Chinese man, they are so big liers and foreigner women will never accept this !  In Chinese culture, someone say lies to "save face" , but the foreigner woman will do all her best to find out the truth ! Once she get the truth, the relationship will be end forever !  We are honest peoples and we go on a right way, not say things just to save face.......   
In my relationship, 90%from what he told me, it was lies ! I found out the truth and I decided to say good bye and I think I was doing the best thing as I cannot start a life with someone who lie me !  And more than this, Chinese man dream only MONEY ! They don;t know what is love ! I was asked by him " why do you love me ? "  I was embarassed at this qurstion seeing that he don;t know what is love.... There should be a reason why love someone ??? No way, love it come from inside, it is a feeling , but I can't explain more as I know here peoples will not understand this, maybe only foreigners know my means.   I should love him for his money ? For his company ? For his car ???  No way dear Chinese men, we foreigner women love from heart , it is a feeling, we don't love for things like house, car or your money !
If Chinese men not like smart women, they are just afraid we are more clever than them ! And yes it is true,  every time when my Chinese man tried to lie me,  he never can go with me so far on this way, I found out imediately that he lied me...  In this way, he lose his face little by little and much then in front of me and do you know what was the end of this relationship ?  He DISAPPEARED  ! I am happy I am more strong than him , more clever and more confident !  He is just a faint-heart for me now...   If he would know and feel what is love, he would say " I am sorry I lied you,  please forgive me , I relaly love you and want to be with you "  but a Chinese man will never do this, he will be a aint-heart and preffer to disappear instead to say the truth, because he lost his face forever ! So ? then for what you lie dear Chinese men ????  Whish face did you saved when you lied if now at the end of a relationship you disappear just because you cannot save face again and you are too much down into your lies ?????     This is why foreigner women not like Chinese men. It is nothing about they are shy or not confident or not good in sex. no .  It is because they like to lie all of the time...   And it is a reason why Chinese girls likes more and more now western guys. 

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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By the way, sorry for my mistakes in writting this, I am very tired .
Wish you all good luck and open your eyes two times before to meet a Chinese  man... 

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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   Foreign single girls are much more smart and confident in comparison to the Chinese guys even if he is so called rich fellow!!  

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Most guys I know would be more than happy to bang a foreign girl. That being said, very few would actually want to *date* one simply due to cultural problems - but it's been done.

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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I actually do know a very happy western girl/eastern guy couple. But he's an open minded Shanghai guy, who's quite humble and soft-spoken. They met at work and their relationship developed naturally. He's a pretty good guy and not the typical 色狼 foreign woman/status-chaser. He's comfortable financially but doesn't own a single apple product, if that's any indication.

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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chinese men want to ? but because is foreign to them alot dont dare approach. but i know one  couple. they have three kids. from the outlook they are happy.

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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A man is rational when he decides to marry. In China a man wants a wife gentleness, obedience, take care of his family when he is kissing his lover. And other reason is, chinese think foreigner are more romantic, a man doesnot want worry about where his wife is when he is working.

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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what about me i would never date chinese men. cause they dont look manly in my eyes.And i dont think that they afraid of foreing girls, on the contrary they are overreacting)

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9 years 39 weeks ago
 
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hell is the word I describe it based from my experience!

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8 years 46 weeks ago
 
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It's a little sad that almost all of the comments are negative. I have been with my Chinese boyfriend for almost 3 years. But then again, he is my 1st ever boyfriend so I guess i don't have anyone to compare him to haha.

 

I'm not going to lie, being in a relationship with him can be very difficult at times. We fight like all couples do, but the thing that always pisses me off is that he thinks I'm obligated to have sex with him. Like sometimes I'm too tired or I'm just not in the mood and then he gets really angry because apparently Chinese girls always do it even if they don't want to, because they should.  So then I always get angry and yell at him to go find a Chinese girl haha. My sister dated a Chinese guy in the past and he said the same thing to her.

 

Sorry if its TMI laugh

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8 years 46 weeks ago
 
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I am really annoyed at the negative posts about the shortcomings of the chinese guys.I myself am a chinese but i am trying not to be biased.

of course there are some guys who tell lies,foreigners included of course. And there are chinese guys who are honest,I have to say most of the friends I know are honest and well-hearted.

It has to be admitted that there are some troubles to be overcome for people from different cultures to get along well together.I've got some foreign friends,and there is no problem for me to communicate in english,however,sometimes i still feel it exhausting and disappointed to be with them. there used to be a guy who wanted to buy something from the internet,since he had no idea how to order things on TAOBAO,I helped him order the product,but he never showed any kind of appreciation,which made me feel bad.

I went to Jellyfish sometimes,and sometimes i meet with some gorgeous girls who I wanna talk to,I have to admit that sometimes I am not that self-confident,i just didnt come up and say hello. I was worried that I might look bad or act stupid.I know it is a big problem,but it doesnt mean that chinese guys are bad or disappointing.

when it comes to sex,it is always embarrassing for most of the chinese guys. but i guess they will understand you if you try to communicate,problems can be solved if you talk him over,instead of complaining about how disappointing the chinese people can be.

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8 years 45 weeks ago
 
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I don't think Chinese man like to lie to their GF, especially for foreigner woman, the problem i think is that we don't have too many single foreigner women here.

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6 years 20 weeks ago
 
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The definite material on the topic

http://www.speakingofchina.com/

Note that regular commenters have their own blogs where they talk about their relationship with their husband/wife, and the family in law. It's not political, a bit politically correct, but it's subtle.

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6 years 20 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I'm married to a Chinese man, but we met in the US. He'd already had a Green Card for a couple of years before we knew each other and was fluent in English. At this point, he's lived in the US for as long as he lived in China.

 

Personally, I'm not sure I'd want to marry a Chinese guy in China, unless he'd been educated abroad. Also, I wouldn't want to live permanently in China, particularly with kids. Hats off to the people who stand it. I honestly think I'm too weak. We do visit Beijing often.

 

Depending on your home country, it can be difficult for the Chinese spouse to immigrate there. Once he does,  he'd have to adapt and find work. There would be a period when he'd be very dependent on you. For some men it would be hard to flip the  gender expectations they grew up with.

 

My in-laws are educated and surprisingly open-minded, but I don't think that's the norm. If you live near your in-laws, they will be in your business more than Western families. If they're bad people, it will be Hell.

 

The biggest fights we have are about the AC in the summer and some Tiger Dad tendencies. 

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6 years 20 weeks ago
 
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I am a woman in china, and have been together with Chinese boyfriend 2 years and will be getting married next year. 

He is a wonderful man, who respects my independence and western ways! 

All of these people saying that Chinese men are not confident, liars, etc etc. Not all of them are the same!! 

Sure when we first started dating I had to tell him that I wasn't going to be his little housewife. Yes, at first he didnt like I got paid more than him. 

But now none of that matters, he will help cook, clean, and maintain our house. He doesnt care how much money I make, as he sees it now as a benefit, so that we can save more money for our future together. He is kind and loving and Honestly better than any western guy I have ever dated. 

 

Please don't give such a bad name to all Chinese guys, they are not all the same! Same as we are not all the same!! 

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6 years 20 weeks ago
 
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