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Q: Going to the inlaws...for New Years...what's the etiquette?
My relationship with my wife's family is not bad. I would venture to say it's virtually non existant. I have met her mom on numerous occassions and she has been very good to me. My wife and I just got married and this is my first New Years with my new family. Sunday is the big day for me and since my Chinese speaking skill is not at a conversational level, I wonder how I can possibly make this a good experience. (As you may know, I have been in China for 6 years now so please no berating me for my lack of spoken Chinese skill.) That's not my question. I know there will be some others there that will want to speak English with me but the adults probably can't speak any English at all. My wife won't want to stay my side, nor do I want her to have to do that. I could use some advice on this one.
12 years 13 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
You can bring those red envelopes and put cash in it for your in-laws they would love that. Also, just learn the manners at the table since you will be around a lot of family learn what to do and what not to do. I don't think it will be a big deal since they know you weren't raised in China. Just remember to bring the red envelopes and also when they set off the firecrackers see if you can be the one that does that. It might make them happy to see you getting involved like that.
Red Envelopes, or Hongbao are given only to unmarried young children in the family. Normally, not given to elders. But if you do, do place new bills inside, and hang them out using both hands, with a slight bow of head prior as a sign of respect. Be prepared to eat a lot, and drink even more. And firecrackers aqfter the dinner celebration.
There will be many brindis, your proper reply can be "cheers". In your shoes, I would bring mama a big basket of fruits, and for baba a couple of bottles of liquor, maybe some cigarretes if you know he smokes and the brand. Make sure basket of fruits have tangerines in it also. Remember it is noy the value of the present, but the intention. Maybe also ask wife what she will suggest to bring, I am sure she will know what they need or like.
It is not polite to ignore food placed by others on your plate, and many will do jsut that, it is a normal custom here.
And just be yourself and have a good time. And do not get too affective at midnight, but wish all a good and prosperous new year.
